EASY question, 10 pts easy! My un-finished story? tips?!
Question: EASY question, 10 pts easy! My un-finished story!? tips!?
Critism is welcome!.!.!.!.Be honest!.
Title: Drop from Pop
Prologue: Cassidy Clarke, a girl who was somebody, instantly becomes a nobody before graduating to high school!.
(Btw I never separated it into chapters)
"So if x equals eight, what does forty-eight minus z equal!?" Ugh! Mr!. Boster had a sleep-worthy class!. "Anyone!?"
I looked around me!. Everyone was ready for lunch, everyone besides Nora Nickel, the nerd!. I mean, the kid next to me, Nick, looked like he was drugged!. Well, he was, on boredom!. He was half asleep with drool hanging outta his mouth!. (Girls rule, boys drool, this is the one time that quote is actually right!. I just hope my boyfriend doesn't drool when we make out!.)
RINNNNGGGGG! There goes the bell!. "Class over kids!. Remember the question, its your homework tonight!." Mr!. Boster was defiantly a nerd when he was in school!.
I breathed a sigh of relief as I walked out of the classroom!. But as soon as I heard my name I turned around!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Title: Drop from Pop
Prologue: Cassidy Clarke, a girl who was somebody, instantly becomes a nobody before graduating to high school!.
(Btw I never separated it into chapters)
"So if x equals eight, what does forty-eight minus z equal!?" Ugh! Mr!. Boster had a sleep-worthy class!. "Anyone!?"
I looked around me!. Everyone was ready for lunch, everyone besides Nora Nickel, the nerd!. I mean, the kid next to me, Nick, looked like he was drugged!. Well, he was, on boredom!. He was half asleep with drool hanging outta his mouth!. (Girls rule, boys drool, this is the one time that quote is actually right!. I just hope my boyfriend doesn't drool when we make out!.)
RINNNNGGGGG! There goes the bell!. "Class over kids!. Remember the question, its your homework tonight!." Mr!. Boster was defiantly a nerd when he was in school!.
I breathed a sigh of relief as I walked out of the classroom!. But as soon as I heard my name I turned around!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
It's a great story(so far)!. Use more formal words!. You'll have to if you want it published!. And did you edit it!? But, overall it's a great story that will attract many preteens, tweens, and teens! Are you gonna be an author!? You should, considering your writing!. If you become famous don't forget me!!!!!!!!!!!!!
P!.S!. Don't use bad laguage and you know what I mean!. (Ennie!?)Www@Enter-QA@Com
P!.S!. Don't use bad laguage and you know what I mean!. (Ennie!?)Www@Enter-QA@Com
20+min to read 5 sec to answerWww@Enter-QA@Com
too much to readWww@Enter-QA@Com
Slang is okay, especially if it's about high schoolers, but the grammar could use some touching up!. Nothing your spelling and grammar check can't take care of!.
And technically, I don't think her father can just own the school like that!. Everything major has to pass before the school board, and I don't think they would approve of a private pool area!. My advice is to take that part and put it in an after-school, some pool area setting!.
One more thing: descriptions of the characters would be nice!. Like, more in-depth then "they're all popular and they all have boyfriends"!. Like, hair color, eye color, maybe hints at their personalities!. Stuff like that!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
And technically, I don't think her father can just own the school like that!. Everything major has to pass before the school board, and I don't think they would approve of a private pool area!. My advice is to take that part and put it in an after-school, some pool area setting!.
One more thing: descriptions of the characters would be nice!. Like, more in-depth then "they're all popular and they all have boyfriends"!. Like, hair color, eye color, maybe hints at their personalities!. Stuff like that!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
dont you think thats a bit mutch to read i got bored of reading after the first line!. but i skim-readed and it really good keep it as it isWww@Enter-QA@Com
it was so fhaguavfdsgjkqoeAFFAIFAUASUGAHOR>
wHAT!? Sorry, I fell asleep on the keyboard!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
wHAT!? Sorry, I fell asleep on the keyboard!.Www@Enter-QA@Com