The 5 funniest jokes on this page will be put in a draw and i will randomly choo!
Question: The 5 funniest jokes on this page will be put in a draw and i will randomly choose a winner to get 10 points!!
FUNNY JOKES PLEASE :D:DWww@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
1This (Blonde) fellow is looking to buy a saw to cut down some trees in his backyard!. He goes to a chainsaw shop and asks about various chainsaws!.
The dealer tells him, "Look, I have a lot of models, but why don't you save yourself a lot of time and aggravation and get the top-of- the-line model!. This chainsaw will cut a hundred cords of wood for you in one day!."
So, the man takes the chainsaw home and begins working on the trees!. After cutting for several hours and only cutting two cords, he decides to quit!. He thinks there is something wrong with the chainsaw!. "How can I cut for hours and only cut two cords!?" the man asks himself!. "I will begin first thing in the morning and cut all day," the man tells himself!.
So, the next morning the man gets up at 4 am in the morning and cuts and cuts, and cuts till nightfall, and still he only manages to cut five cords!.
The man is convinced this is a bad saw!. "The dealer told me it would cut one hundred cords of wood in a day, no problem!. I will take this saw back to the dealer," the man says to himself!.
The very next day the man brings the saw back to the dealer and explains the problem!. The dealer, baffled by the man's claim, removes the chainsaw from the case!. The dealer says, "Hmm, it looks fine!."
Then the dealer starts the chainsaw, to which the man responds, "What's that noise!?
2Sam: Would you punish me for some thing i didn't do!?
Teacher: no, of course not!.
Sam: good, because i didn't do my homework!.
3What's the difference between snow men and snow women!?
Snowballs
4Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you!?
A: Run like hell, she has a grenade in her mouth!
5How do you make a blonde's eyes sparkle!?
Shine a torch into her ear!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
The dealer tells him, "Look, I have a lot of models, but why don't you save yourself a lot of time and aggravation and get the top-of- the-line model!. This chainsaw will cut a hundred cords of wood for you in one day!."
So, the man takes the chainsaw home and begins working on the trees!. After cutting for several hours and only cutting two cords, he decides to quit!. He thinks there is something wrong with the chainsaw!. "How can I cut for hours and only cut two cords!?" the man asks himself!. "I will begin first thing in the morning and cut all day," the man tells himself!.
So, the next morning the man gets up at 4 am in the morning and cuts and cuts, and cuts till nightfall, and still he only manages to cut five cords!.
The man is convinced this is a bad saw!. "The dealer told me it would cut one hundred cords of wood in a day, no problem!. I will take this saw back to the dealer," the man says to himself!.
The very next day the man brings the saw back to the dealer and explains the problem!. The dealer, baffled by the man's claim, removes the chainsaw from the case!. The dealer says, "Hmm, it looks fine!."
Then the dealer starts the chainsaw, to which the man responds, "What's that noise!?
2Sam: Would you punish me for some thing i didn't do!?
Teacher: no, of course not!.
Sam: good, because i didn't do my homework!.
3What's the difference between snow men and snow women!?
Snowballs
4Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you!?
A: Run like hell, she has a grenade in her mouth!
5How do you make a blonde's eyes sparkle!?
Shine a torch into her ear!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Three fat guys sit down at a table, and begin to chat!. Randomly a skinny guy comes over and ask's them each a question!. To the first fat guy he asked "How much do you weight!?" the fat guy responed with his weight, he ask the next fat guy "How much do you weigh!?" the third fat guy looked at the skinny guy "oh no I'm not falling for this!" the skinny guy looked at him and said "Falling for what!?", "Your trick" replied the fat guy!. The skinny guy left and later in life died of old age!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Three third graders are all sitting infront of the principal's office!. Johnny, Lisa and Matthew!.!.!. Johnny said to Lisa, "What are you in for!?" Lisa told Johnny, "Oh they caught me saying the 'S!. H!.' word!." Johnny replied, "I said the 'F' word!." They both looked at Matthew, he shrugged and said, "All I said was, CHRISTMAS!!!"
Why don't you give a watch as a gift to a woman!?
There's a clock on the STOVE!!!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Why don't you give a watch as a gift to a woman!?
There's a clock on the STOVE!!!Www@Enter-QA@Com
an airoplane has engine failure and starts to dive, some people start to panic , one woman stands up and rips her dress off and says "we are going to die, while there is time is there a man who can make me feel like a woman" a man stands up and takes his shirt off, hands it to the woman and says "iron this for me will you"Www@Enter-QA@Com
a cardiologist died, at his funeral were friends and fellow doctors, behind the cardiologist was a beautiful heart made of flowwers, after the uelogy, the heart opened and the doctor was sealed in the heart forever!. at that point one of the mourners burst out laughing, all eyes were on him he apologized and said "im sorry, i was just thinking about my funeral, you see im a gyneocologist", and thats when the proctologist fainted!Www@Enter-QA@Com
simba and mufasa are walking through a field and all of a sudden, a huge herd of wild boars come stampeding towards them!. "simba "cries mufasa !. then as they are running simba yells " hey mufasta ! "
why are tenors like pirates!? they both murder on the high c 's !Www@Enter-QA@Com
why are tenors like pirates!? they both murder on the high c 's !Www@Enter-QA@Com
An Irishman goes for a job on a building site!.
The foreman says "Can you make tea paddy !? "
"Yes sir I can make tea"!.
"Can you drive a forklift"!?
"Just how big is this f***ing teapot then!? " says paddy!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
The foreman says "Can you make tea paddy !? "
"Yes sir I can make tea"!.
"Can you drive a forklift"!?
"Just how big is this f***ing teapot then!? " says paddy!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
once upon a time there was a joke !.then it died at aged 79 , had a heart attack!.!.
when i see some of the other attempts with my psychic eye that will follow , I decided to change mine to something equally as sh!t! lolWww@Enter-QA@Com
when i see some of the other attempts with my psychic eye that will follow , I decided to change mine to something equally as sh!t! lolWww@Enter-QA@Com
Why don't rabbits make noise during sex!?
Ready!?!?!?
Because they have cotton balls!!!!
muhahahahahahahaWww@Enter-QA@Com
Ready!?!?!?
Because they have cotton balls!!!!
muhahahahahahahaWww@Enter-QA@Com
How are you going to decide the funniest five!? Then why not decide the funniest one using the same criteria!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
why did the washing machine laugh!?!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. it was taking the piss out of the pants!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Www@Enter-QA@Com
http://www!.fl5708!.blogspot!.com/Www@Enter-QA@Com
whats the difference between an egg an a w*nk!?
You can beat an egg!!Www@Enter-QA@Com
You can beat an egg!!Www@Enter-QA@Com
How do you make a snooker table laugh!?!?
Put your hands in its pockets and tickle its balls!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Put your hands in its pockets and tickle its balls!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
WHAT DID CINDERELLA DO WHEN SHE GOT TO THE BALL!?
CHOKED!!Www@Enter-QA@Com
CHOKED!!Www@Enter-QA@Com
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes!?!.!.!.
Nothing, you already told her twice!!!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Nothing, you already told her twice!!!Www@Enter-QA@Com