I need a couple of interesting, original jokes to tell. Anyone have any good jok!
Question: I need a couple of interesting, original jokes to tell!. Anyone have any good jokes!?
Any type of joke would be great!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
After living in the remote wilderness of Kentucky all his life, an old codger decided it was time to visit the big city!. In one of the city's stores, he picked up a mirror and looked in it!. Not knowing what it was, he remarked, "How about that! Here's a picture of my daddy!."
He bought the "picture," but on the way home remembered that his wife, Lizzy, didn't much like his father!. So he hung it in the barn, and every morning before leaving for the fields, he would go there and look at it!.
The man's many trips to the barn began to draw Lizzy's suspicion!. One day after her husband left, she searched the barn and found the mirror!. As she looked into the glass, she fumed, "So that's the ugly ***** he's runnin' around with!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
He bought the "picture," but on the way home remembered that his wife, Lizzy, didn't much like his father!. So he hung it in the barn, and every morning before leaving for the fields, he would go there and look at it!.
The man's many trips to the barn began to draw Lizzy's suspicion!. One day after her husband left, she searched the barn and found the mirror!. As she looked into the glass, she fumed, "So that's the ugly ***** he's runnin' around with!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
The bride tells her husband
The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know
anything about sex!. Can you explain it to me first!?"
"OK, Sweetheart!. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the
prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'!. So what we do is: put the
prisoner in the prison!.
And then they made love for the first time!.
Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction!.
Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped!."
Turning on his side, he smiles!. "Then we will have to re-imprison him!."
After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but
the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him
a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"
The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently
born foal!.
Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted!.
She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again!."
Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a life sentence,
OKAY!
hahahaWww@Enter-QA@Com
The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know
anything about sex!. Can you explain it to me first!?"
"OK, Sweetheart!. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the
prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'!. So what we do is: put the
prisoner in the prison!.
And then they made love for the first time!.
Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction!.
Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped!."
Turning on his side, he smiles!. "Then we will have to re-imprison him!."
After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but
the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him
a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"
The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently
born foal!.
Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted!.
She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again!."
Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a life sentence,
OKAY!
hahahaWww@Enter-QA@Com
Ever Hear about the Rectum Stretcher!?
One day this woman is running late for work!.
She's speeding and coming up to a big bridge!.
As soon as she crosses the bridge she gets pulled over by a cop waiting on the other side!.
He comes up to her door and asks her, "Why were you in such a hurry!."
She replies, "I'm late for work!."
While he's filling out her ticket he asks here, "What do you do!?"
To which she answers, "Why I'm a rectum stretcher!"
The officer likes to drop his pen and ticketbook when he hears this!.
He says, "A WHAT!?!"
The woman says again, "A Rectum Stretcher!"
The officer asks, "And what does a rectum stretcher do!?!"
She tells him, "Well I start by putting one finger in and wiggling around and then put two and three and work my way until I get my whole hand in!." She says this while giving him a demonstration with her hands waving around in the air, all the while the officer just listens and watches dumbfounded!.
She continues, "Then I get my other hand in and work around until I've stretched it about 6 feet!."
The officer asks, "What the hell do you do with a 6ft @$$ hole!?!"
She asnwers, "You stick him on the otherside of a bridge and give him a radar gun!."
30mins late for work:verbal warning
speeding ticket:$150
making a cop look like a fool and then completing pi$$ing him off:priceless!Www@Enter-QA@Com
One day this woman is running late for work!.
She's speeding and coming up to a big bridge!.
As soon as she crosses the bridge she gets pulled over by a cop waiting on the other side!.
He comes up to her door and asks her, "Why were you in such a hurry!."
She replies, "I'm late for work!."
While he's filling out her ticket he asks here, "What do you do!?"
To which she answers, "Why I'm a rectum stretcher!"
The officer likes to drop his pen and ticketbook when he hears this!.
He says, "A WHAT!?!"
The woman says again, "A Rectum Stretcher!"
The officer asks, "And what does a rectum stretcher do!?!"
She tells him, "Well I start by putting one finger in and wiggling around and then put two and three and work my way until I get my whole hand in!." She says this while giving him a demonstration with her hands waving around in the air, all the while the officer just listens and watches dumbfounded!.
She continues, "Then I get my other hand in and work around until I've stretched it about 6 feet!."
The officer asks, "What the hell do you do with a 6ft @$$ hole!?!"
She asnwers, "You stick him on the otherside of a bridge and give him a radar gun!."
30mins late for work:verbal warning
speeding ticket:$150
making a cop look like a fool and then completing pi$$ing him off:priceless!Www@Enter-QA@Com
1!. Doctor! I have a serious problem, I can never remember what i just said!.
When did you first notice this problem!?
What problem!?
2!.Sam: Would you punish me for some thing i didn't do!?
Teacher: no, of course not!.
Sam: good, because i didn't do my homework!.
3!.You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster!.
Www@Enter-QA@Com
When did you first notice this problem!?
What problem!?
2!.Sam: Would you punish me for some thing i didn't do!?
Teacher: no, of course not!.
Sam: good, because i didn't do my homework!.
3!.You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster!.
Www@Enter-QA@Com
How do you drown a submarine full of stupid people!?
Knock on the door
2 friends are talking while walking home from school!.
One friend says "My parents hate me"
"How can u tell!?" the other friend asked
"Last night my parents gave me a radio and a toaster to play with in the bath"Www@Enter-QA@Com
Knock on the door
2 friends are talking while walking home from school!.
One friend says "My parents hate me"
"How can u tell!?" the other friend asked
"Last night my parents gave me a radio and a toaster to play with in the bath"Www@Enter-QA@Com
How do gay gangsters do a drive by!?!?!?!?!?
they drive in a pink car, throw out skittles and yell!.!.!."that's right bi*ch taste the rainbow"Www@Enter-QA@Com
they drive in a pink car, throw out skittles and yell!.!.!."that's right bi*ch taste the rainbow"Www@Enter-QA@Com
to the answer above me, that was sooooo funnyWww@Enter-QA@Com
lmfao to these ppl that answered!Www@Enter-QA@Com