Fun things to do at walmart [joke]?!

* Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations!.
* Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store!.
* Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day!.
* Start playing football -- see how many people you can get to join in!.
* Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and yell, ''I need some tampons!!''
* Try on bras over top of your clothes!.
* Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms!.
* While walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice possible ''Sex and Candy''
* Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, ''I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares,'' and see what happens!.
* Tune all the radios to a polka station, then turn them all off and turn the volumes to ''10!.''
* Play with the automatic doors!.
* Walk up to complete strangers and say, ''Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!!.!.!.'' etc!. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment!.
* While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, ''Who BUYS this ****, anyway!?''
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* Put pairs of women's panties on your head and walk around the store casually!.
* Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins!.
*!. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field!.
* As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, ''Wow!. Magic!''
* Put M&M's on layaway!.
* Move ''Caution: Wet Floor'' signs to carpeted areas!.
* Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath!.
* Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners!.
* Nonchalantly ''test'' the brushes and combs in Cosmetics!.
* Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying,''!.!.!.I'm Batman!. Come, Robin -- to the Batcave!"
* TP as much of the store as possible!.
* Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles!.
* Play with the calculators so that they all spell ''hello'' upside down!. (01134)
* When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, ''Why won't you people just leave me alone!?"
* When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, ''Red Rover!''
* Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose!.
* Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full-scale battlefield with G!.I!. Joes vs!. the X-Men!.
* Take bets on the battle described above!.
* Set up another battlefield with G!.I!. Joes vs!. Barbie!. (Red lipstick might give an interesting effect!.!.!.)
* While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are!. Act as spastic as possible!.
* While no one's watching, quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the restrooms!.
* Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from ''Mission: Impossible!.'
* Attempt to fit into very large gym bags!.
* Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags!.
* Fill an entire cart with boxes of condoms, and watch everyone's jaws drop when you attempt to buy them!.
* Set up a ''Valet Parking'' sign in front of the store!.
* Two words: ''Marco Polo!.'
* Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc!.
* ''Re-alphabetize'' the CDs in Electronics!.
* In the auto department, practice your ''Madonna'' look with various funnels!. * Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like ''the fat man walks alone,'' and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them!.
* While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation!. Exp: The person is breaking up with you and you begin crying ''How could you do this to me!? I thought you loved me! I knew there was another girl, but I thought I had won!.'' Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions!.
* When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, ''No, no! It's those voices again!''
* Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out!.
* Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax!.If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it!.
* Get a stuffed animal, go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying ''Good girl, good Bessie!."
* Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of shoes, not putting one pair back!. Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles!.
* When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word!.
* Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away!. Continue to do this until they leave the department!.
* Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon!.
* Test the fishing rods and see what you can ''catch'' from the other aisles!.
* In the makeup department, spray yourself with every perfume there is, then walk up to a boy who is with a girl and start flirting with him as ditisily as possible: ''Hi! (giggle) What's your sign!? (giggle)!.'' When the boy shows no interest, start hitting on the girl the exact same way!. ''Hi! (giggle) What's your sign!? (giggle)!.''
* Hold indoor shopping cart races!.
* Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit!.
* When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially through narrow aisles!. * Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out!.
* Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap!. * Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time!.
* Say things like, ''Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies!?''
* Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i!.e!., ''Do you have any Shnerples here!?''
* Ride a display bicycle through the store -- claim you're taking it for a ''test drive!.''
* Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters!.
* Get boxes of condoms and randomly slip them into peoples' carts when they aren't paying attention!.














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