Can someone please tell me a funny joke?!
Question: Can someone please tell me a funny joke!?
Answers:
1!. A couple had been married for 40 years and also celebrated their 60th birthdays!.
During the celebration, a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple all these years, she would give them one wish each!.
Being the faithful, loving spouse for all these years, naturally the wife wanted for herself and her husband to have a romantic vacation together, so she wished for them to travel around the world!.
The fairy waved her wand and boom! !.!.!. The wife had the tickets in her hand!.
Next, it was the husband's turn and the fairy assured him he could have any wish he wanted, all he needed to do was ask for his heart's desire!.
He paused for a moment, and then said, "Well, honestly, I'd like to have a woman 30 years younger than me!."
The fairy picked up her wand and kazoom! !.!.!. The husband turned 90!
2!. Two guys, Joe & Bill went camping in the desert!. After they got their tent all set up, they fell sound asleep!.
Some hours later, Joe wakes his faithful friend and says, "Bill, look up at the sky and tell me what you see!."
Bill replies, "I see millions of stars!."
"What does that tell you!?" asked Joe!.
Bill ponders for a minute, and then says, "Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies, and potentially billions of planets!.
Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo!. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the
morning!.
Theologically, it's evident the
Lord is all-powerful and we are small, and insignificant!.
Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow!.
What does it tell you, Joe!?"
Joe is silent for a moment, then says, "Bill, you idiot! Someone has stolen our tent"!
3!. !. A 70-year-old man goes to the doctor's for a physical!.
The doctor runs some tests and says to the man, "Well, everything seems to be in top condition physically, but what about mentally!? How is your connection with God!?"
And the man says, "Oh me and God!? We're tight!. We have a real bond, he's good to me!. Every night when I have to get up to go to the bathroom, he turns on the light for me, and then, when I leave, he turns it back off!."
Well, upon hearing this the doctor was astonished!.
He called the man's wife and said, "I'd like to speak to you about your husband's connection with God!. He claims that every night when he needs to use the restroom, God turns on the light for him and turns it off for him again when he leaves!. Is this true!?"
And she says, "That idiot, he's been peeing in the refrigerator!"
4!. A young businessman had just started his own business!. He'd rented a beautiful office and had it brilliantly decorated!. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office!.
Wishing to appear busy, the young businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he was working a big deal!. He was shouting huge figures and made giant commitments!.
Finally, he hung up and asked the visitor, "Can I help you!?" The man said, "Sure!. I'm here to install the phone!"
5!. At the end of the school year a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her class!. The florist's son handed her a gift!. She shook it and said, "I bet I know what it is; Flowers!."
"That's right!" the boy said, "but, how did you know!?"
"Oh, just a wild guess," the teacher replied!.
The next student was the candy shop owner's daughter!. The teacher held her gift, shook it and said, "I bet I can guess what it is; A box of sweets!."
"That's right said the little girl, but how did you know!?"
"Oh, I've been around for many years," said the teacher proudly!.
The next gift was from the son of the liquor store owner!. The teacher held he package, but it was leaking so she grabbed a drop off the leaking contents with her finger and put it on her tongue for a taste test!.
"Is it wine!?" the teacher asked!.
"NOPE," the boy replied, with some excitement!.
The teacher repeated the process, tasting a larger drop of the leaking package!. "Is it champagne!?" she asked!.
"NO MAM," he replied, with even more excitement!
The teacher with all her knowledge finally took one more big taste before admitting, "I give up!. What is it!?"
With an giant grin the boy replied, “SURPRISE, It's a puppy!"
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During the celebration, a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple all these years, she would give them one wish each!.
Being the faithful, loving spouse for all these years, naturally the wife wanted for herself and her husband to have a romantic vacation together, so she wished for them to travel around the world!.
The fairy waved her wand and boom! !.!.!. The wife had the tickets in her hand!.
Next, it was the husband's turn and the fairy assured him he could have any wish he wanted, all he needed to do was ask for his heart's desire!.
He paused for a moment, and then said, "Well, honestly, I'd like to have a woman 30 years younger than me!."
The fairy picked up her wand and kazoom! !.!.!. The husband turned 90!
2!. Two guys, Joe & Bill went camping in the desert!. After they got their tent all set up, they fell sound asleep!.
Some hours later, Joe wakes his faithful friend and says, "Bill, look up at the sky and tell me what you see!."
Bill replies, "I see millions of stars!."
"What does that tell you!?" asked Joe!.
Bill ponders for a minute, and then says, "Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies, and potentially billions of planets!.
Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo!. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the
morning!.
Theologically, it's evident the
Lord is all-powerful and we are small, and insignificant!.
Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow!.
What does it tell you, Joe!?"
Joe is silent for a moment, then says, "Bill, you idiot! Someone has stolen our tent"!
3!. !. A 70-year-old man goes to the doctor's for a physical!.
The doctor runs some tests and says to the man, "Well, everything seems to be in top condition physically, but what about mentally!? How is your connection with God!?"
And the man says, "Oh me and God!? We're tight!. We have a real bond, he's good to me!. Every night when I have to get up to go to the bathroom, he turns on the light for me, and then, when I leave, he turns it back off!."
Well, upon hearing this the doctor was astonished!.
He called the man's wife and said, "I'd like to speak to you about your husband's connection with God!. He claims that every night when he needs to use the restroom, God turns on the light for him and turns it off for him again when he leaves!. Is this true!?"
And she says, "That idiot, he's been peeing in the refrigerator!"
4!. A young businessman had just started his own business!. He'd rented a beautiful office and had it brilliantly decorated!. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office!.
Wishing to appear busy, the young businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he was working a big deal!. He was shouting huge figures and made giant commitments!.
Finally, he hung up and asked the visitor, "Can I help you!?" The man said, "Sure!. I'm here to install the phone!"
5!. At the end of the school year a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her class!. The florist's son handed her a gift!. She shook it and said, "I bet I know what it is; Flowers!."
"That's right!" the boy said, "but, how did you know!?"
"Oh, just a wild guess," the teacher replied!.
The next student was the candy shop owner's daughter!. The teacher held her gift, shook it and said, "I bet I can guess what it is; A box of sweets!."
"That's right said the little girl, but how did you know!?"
"Oh, I've been around for many years," said the teacher proudly!.
The next gift was from the son of the liquor store owner!. The teacher held he package, but it was leaking so she grabbed a drop off the leaking contents with her finger and put it on her tongue for a taste test!.
"Is it wine!?" the teacher asked!.
"NOPE," the boy replied, with some excitement!.
The teacher repeated the process, tasting a larger drop of the leaking package!. "Is it champagne!?" she asked!.
"NO MAM," he replied, with even more excitement!
The teacher with all her knowledge finally took one more big taste before admitting, "I give up!. What is it!?"
With an giant grin the boy replied, “SURPRISE, It's a puppy!"
Www@Enter-QA@Com
their were three construction worker guys sitting on top of a building!. they were having lunch!. all their wives had packed them sandwiches!.
then red head guy said,"if i get another Turkey sandwich, i'm gonna jump of this building!."
then the brunette guy said, " if i get another ham sandwich i'm gonna jump off this building"
and the blonde guy said" if i get another PB&J sandwich, i'm gonna jump off this building!."
so the next day!. they all got what they didn't want and jumped off the building!.
at their funerals the red head's wife said " if only i hadn't packed that sandwich"!.
and the brunette guy's wife said" if only i hadn't packed that sandwich"
and the blonde guy's wife said " uhh!.!.!. i didn't pack that sandwich, he did"!!?!
ahahahahah!. i know i'm blonde, but still funny right!!!?!
(:Www@Enter-QA@Com
then red head guy said,"if i get another Turkey sandwich, i'm gonna jump of this building!."
then the brunette guy said, " if i get another ham sandwich i'm gonna jump off this building"
and the blonde guy said" if i get another PB&J sandwich, i'm gonna jump off this building!."
so the next day!. they all got what they didn't want and jumped off the building!.
at their funerals the red head's wife said " if only i hadn't packed that sandwich"!.
and the brunette guy's wife said" if only i hadn't packed that sandwich"
and the blonde guy's wife said " uhh!.!.!. i didn't pack that sandwich, he did"!!?!
ahahahahah!. i know i'm blonde, but still funny right!!!?!
(:Www@Enter-QA@Com
Supersex
A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing home!. As she ran, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say "Supersex!." She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair!. Flipping her gown at him, she said, "Supersex!." He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, "I’ll take the soup!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
okay!.!. there were two muffins in an oven the first muffin said "man it's hot in here!" then the second muffin said "holy crap a talking muffin!!!!"
HAHAHAHAWww@Enter-QA@Com
HAHAHAHAWww@Enter-QA@Com
Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!!.!.!.!.!.
(You r laughing now right!?)Www@Enter-QA@Com
(You r laughing now right!?)Www@Enter-QA@Com
Why did the hedgehog cross the road!?
To see his flat mateWww@Enter-QA@Com
To see his flat mateWww@Enter-QA@Com
What goes in dry, comes out wet, and gives warm satisfaction!?
A tea bag!. Www@Enter-QA@Com
A tea bag!. Www@Enter-QA@Com
yesWww@Enter-QA@Com