Do you know why women should not force husbands to go shopping?!


Question: Do you know why women should not force husbands to go shopping!?
This is why women should not take men shopping against their will!.

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to
Wal-Mart!.

Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to
get
in and out!.

Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women - - she loved to
browse!.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local
Wal-Mart!.

Dear Mrs!. Dondi,

Over the past six months , your husband has been causing quite a
commotion in our store!. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been
forced to ban both of you from the store!. Our complaints against
Mr!.Dondi are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras!.

1!. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking!.

2 !. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals!.

3!. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom!.

4!. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in House wares!. Get on it right away!.'

5!. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway!.

6!. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area!.

7!. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department!.
8!. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone!?'
9!. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose!.

10!. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were!.

11 October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme!.

12!. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels!.
13!. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14!. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least

15!. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in
here!'
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Answers:
This has been the weirdest day! Your hilarious jokes capped it off!. I'm shutting my computer down now!. I can't take it any more!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

LMBO, too funny!. Thanks for sharing this!. This was hilarious!. Did you actually try any of these!? If you did your wife needs to put you on some sort of punishment!. lol

@gale s, lol that`s a good one!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

Pretty funny!. Did you write it!? I've seen it several places on the Internet, but it sounds like you're taking credit for it!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

OMG! Now you've broken my ribs and I can't type, my chair is wet, it hurts!.!.!.God'll get you for this!.!.!.!.I love you and the 3 stooges!
Www@Enter-QA@Com

OH MY GOSH! i love love these jokes they are wayyy too funny lol i showed my brohter and we both couldnt stop laughing the last is the best lol thanks for the laugh lmao but now my side hurts from laughing lol but its alright i forgiveWww@Enter-QA@Com

Sounds like my grandfather!. Beautiful story!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

TOOOOOOOOO Good !! Hahahaahhahaha!.!.!.!.!.!.Loved it !

Thumbs UP !!!!Www@Enter-QA@Com

OMG ROFLMAO Believe me this soooo hard for me to type right now in spasms of laughter!
Really needed that---THANKS!!!!!
Cheers!!Www@Enter-QA@Com

Sounds like fun, especially the toilet paper gag!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

Hehe, I'll have to show my husband this one :) Or maybe I won't!.!.!.he'll actually try some of them to get out of shopping next time!Www@Enter-QA@Com

Love this, sir! With the addition of
A Blue Light Special: All Ladies panties are half- off!.!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

That was!.!.!. kind of!.!.!. not very funny!. And I heard some of those before!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

Thanks!. The condoms have set me on a whole new course, and besides, I forgot the balloons for my kid's birthday party!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

Good one!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

Love it!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

lol !!!! that was soo funny!Www@Enter-QA@Com

OMG! This is toooooo funny!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

I have tried the pick me thing!. A very nice trick indeed!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

ABSOLUTELY EPIC ~ me and hubby both ROFL! thanks for the giggles and a * 4 u!Www@Enter-QA@Com

Thanks for the giggle, I nearly wet myself!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

If I had not recieved this once before I would have laughed even harder!
You taking ownership of it makes you a great person!
I am in agreement with shutting down the computer for the day!.!. If I can!.!.,
I m chuckling as I am leaving!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

Loved it!.You and the Walmart greeter guy would get along great!.One day he had a lady coming in the door, she was swearing at her two boys and yelling at them that she would beat the crap out of them if they didn't behave themselves!.She kept up the abuse and starting walking past the greeter!.The greeter said-"Yes it must be hard to keep control of two twin boys"!.She replied--"Are you blind, they don't look alike and one is one foot taller than the other you old coot""Why would you think they were twins!?"At this the greeter answered-"Oh I couldn't imagine anyone making love to you twice"!.Www@Enter-QA@Com



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