I havent smiled or laughed in a while now, so make me laugh?!
Question: I havent smiled or laughed in a while now, so make me laugh!?
Answers:
Bob and Rob turned in their quizzes at the same time!. When they got their quizzes back ,they both got 14 out of 15 answers right!. Their teacher talked to them afterward!.
Teacher: You both missed number 15, but Bob is going to pass the quiz, Rob will have to stay behind!.
Rob: But if we both missed the same question, why are you passing him!?
Teacher: Because he answered the question "I don't know" and you answered it "Neither do I!."
Craig: I don't think my teacher likes me!.
Jimmy: Why do you say that!?
Craig: During fire drills he tells me to stay seated!.
Teacher: Luke, were you copying the answer from your neighbour's paper!?
Luke: No, just checking if she had mine right!.
Zachary dawdled on his way to school!. "Hurry up!"said his mum!. "You'll be late!"
"What's the rush!?" Zachary asked!. "They're open 'till 3:30!."
Teacher: I was very pleased to give you an 85 on the test!.
Student: Why don't you give me 100 and really enjoy yourself!?
Bobby: I can't figure out this math problem!.
Teacher: Really!? Any 5 year old should get it!.
Bobby: No wonder---- I'm nine!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Teacher: You both missed number 15, but Bob is going to pass the quiz, Rob will have to stay behind!.
Rob: But if we both missed the same question, why are you passing him!?
Teacher: Because he answered the question "I don't know" and you answered it "Neither do I!."
Craig: I don't think my teacher likes me!.
Jimmy: Why do you say that!?
Craig: During fire drills he tells me to stay seated!.
Teacher: Luke, were you copying the answer from your neighbour's paper!?
Luke: No, just checking if she had mine right!.
Zachary dawdled on his way to school!. "Hurry up!"said his mum!. "You'll be late!"
"What's the rush!?" Zachary asked!. "They're open 'till 3:30!."
Teacher: I was very pleased to give you an 85 on the test!.
Student: Why don't you give me 100 and really enjoy yourself!?
Bobby: I can't figure out this math problem!.
Teacher: Really!? Any 5 year old should get it!.
Bobby: No wonder---- I'm nine!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America, Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as 'HILLBILLIES!.'
You must now refer to them as
APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS !.
And furthermore
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1!. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a
' BREASTED AMERICAN!.'
2!. She is not ' EASY ' - She is
'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE!.'
3!. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a
'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY!.'
4!. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a
'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION!.'
5!. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes
' VERBALLY REPETITIVE!.'
6!. She is not a 'TWO- BIT HOOKER' - She is a
' LOW COST PROVIDER!.'
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1!. He does not have a ' BEER GUT' - He has developed a
'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY!.'
2!. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is
' OVERLY CAUCASIAN!.'
3!. He does not ' GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He
' INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS!.'
4!. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in
'FOLLICLE REGRESSION!.'
5!. He does not act like a 'TOTAL A$$' - He develops a case of RECTAL CRANIAL INVERSION!.'
6!. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's
'REAR CLEAVAGE!.'
--------
Apple announced today that it has developed a breast implant that can store and play music!. The i-Tit will cost $499 or $599 depending on cup size!. This has been hailed as a major breakthrough because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them!.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Www@Enter-QA@Com
You must now refer to them as
APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS !.
And furthermore
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1!. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a
' BREASTED AMERICAN!.'
2!. She is not ' EASY ' - She is
'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE!.'
3!. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a
'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY!.'
4!. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a
'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION!.'
5!. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes
' VERBALLY REPETITIVE!.'
6!. She is not a 'TWO- BIT HOOKER' - She is a
' LOW COST PROVIDER!.'
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1!. He does not have a ' BEER GUT' - He has developed a
'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY!.'
2!. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is
' OVERLY CAUCASIAN!.'
3!. He does not ' GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He
' INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS!.'
4!. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in
'FOLLICLE REGRESSION!.'
5!. He does not act like a 'TOTAL A$$' - He develops a case of RECTAL CRANIAL INVERSION!.'
6!. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's
'REAR CLEAVAGE!.'
--------
Apple announced today that it has developed a breast implant that can store and play music!. The i-Tit will cost $499 or $599 depending on cup size!. This has been hailed as a major breakthrough because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them!.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Www@Enter-QA@Com
okay i heard this joke from a freind!.
One day there was this couple driving down the highway!.
the girl in the car was crying and arguing with her boyfriend because he keeps on cheating on her!.
so while they are arguing the car behind them had a father and a little girl in it!.
so the girl is arguing with her boyfriend really bad and ends up cutting off his dick and throwing out the window!.
His dick hits the car behind them and falls off!.
The little girl said "daddy daddy what was that!?"
the father was uncomfortable to tell his little girl that it was a dick so he said " don't worry it was just a bug"
then she replies " Damn daddy that bug had a Big DICK"
lol :DWww@Enter-QA@Com
One day there was this couple driving down the highway!.
the girl in the car was crying and arguing with her boyfriend because he keeps on cheating on her!.
so while they are arguing the car behind them had a father and a little girl in it!.
so the girl is arguing with her boyfriend really bad and ends up cutting off his dick and throwing out the window!.
His dick hits the car behind them and falls off!.
The little girl said "daddy daddy what was that!?"
the father was uncomfortable to tell his little girl that it was a dick so he said " don't worry it was just a bug"
then she replies " Damn daddy that bug had a Big DICK"
lol :DWww@Enter-QA@Com
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http://www!.funnyjunk!.com/funny_pictures/!.!.!.
http://www!.funnyjunk!.com/funny_pictures/!.!.!.
http://www!.funnyjunk!.com/funny_pictures/!.!.!.
Jewish and Chinese Pilots!.
A plane leaves Los Angeles airport under the control of a Jewish captain!.
His copilot is Chinese!. It's the first time they've flown together, and an awkward silence between the two seems to indicate a mutual dislike!.
Once they reach cruising altitude, the Jewish captain activates the auto-pilot, leans back in his seat, and mutters, 'I don't like Chinese!.'
'No rike Chinese!?' asks the copilot, '!.!.!.!.why not!?'
'You people bombed Pearl Harbor, that's why !'
'No, no,' the co-pilot protests, 'Chinese not bomb Peahl Hahbah! That Japanese, not Chinese!.'
'Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese!.!.!. doesn't matter, you're all alike!'
There's a few minutes of silence!.
'I no rike Jews either!' the copilot suddenly announces!.
'Oh yeah, why not!?' asks the captain!.
'Jews sink Titanic!.'
'What!? That's insane! Jews didn't sink the Titanic!' exclaims the captain, 'It was an iceberg!'
'Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg, Rosenberg !.!.!.no mattah!.!.!. all same!.'
Www@Enter-QA@Com
http://www!.funnyjunk!.com/funny_pictures/!.!.!.
http://www!.funnyjunk!.com/funny_pictures/!.!.!.
http://www!.funnyjunk!.com/funny_pictures/!.!.!.
Jewish and Chinese Pilots!.
A plane leaves Los Angeles airport under the control of a Jewish captain!.
His copilot is Chinese!. It's the first time they've flown together, and an awkward silence between the two seems to indicate a mutual dislike!.
Once they reach cruising altitude, the Jewish captain activates the auto-pilot, leans back in his seat, and mutters, 'I don't like Chinese!.'
'No rike Chinese!?' asks the copilot, '!.!.!.!.why not!?'
'You people bombed Pearl Harbor, that's why !'
'No, no,' the co-pilot protests, 'Chinese not bomb Peahl Hahbah! That Japanese, not Chinese!.'
'Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese!.!.!. doesn't matter, you're all alike!'
There's a few minutes of silence!.
'I no rike Jews either!' the copilot suddenly announces!.
'Oh yeah, why not!?' asks the captain!.
'Jews sink Titanic!.'
'What!? That's insane! Jews didn't sink the Titanic!' exclaims the captain, 'It was an iceberg!'
'Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg, Rosenberg !.!.!.no mattah!.!.!. all same!.'
Www@Enter-QA@Com
Why did it take the moron an hour to eat breakfast!?
Because the orange juice carton instructions said Concentrate ! !
What do you do if a moron throws a grenade at you!?
Pull the pin and throw it back at him!.
How did the moron fall on the floor!?
He tripped over the cordless phone!.
How did the moron try to kill a bird!?
He threw it off a mountain cliff !
Why did the moron climb the glass wall !?
To see what was on the other side!
How do you confuse a moron!?
Put him in a round room and tell him to sit in one corner!
Hear about the moron that got an AM radio!?
It took him a month to realize he could play it at night!.
Why did the moron going to the airport turn around and go home!?
Because he saw the sign that said "Airport Left"!.
Two morons were walking through the woods and they came to some tracks!.
The first moron said "These look like deer tracks,"
and the other moron said, "No, they look like moose tracks!."
They argued and argued, and they were still arguing when the train hit them!.
GOT THESE FROM :http://www!.101funjokes!.com/Www@Enter-QA@Com
Because the orange juice carton instructions said Concentrate ! !
What do you do if a moron throws a grenade at you!?
Pull the pin and throw it back at him!.
How did the moron fall on the floor!?
He tripped over the cordless phone!.
How did the moron try to kill a bird!?
He threw it off a mountain cliff !
Why did the moron climb the glass wall !?
To see what was on the other side!
How do you confuse a moron!?
Put him in a round room and tell him to sit in one corner!
Hear about the moron that got an AM radio!?
It took him a month to realize he could play it at night!.
Why did the moron going to the airport turn around and go home!?
Because he saw the sign that said "Airport Left"!.
Two morons were walking through the woods and they came to some tracks!.
The first moron said "These look like deer tracks,"
and the other moron said, "No, they look like moose tracks!."
They argued and argued, and they were still arguing when the train hit them!.
GOT THESE FROM :http://www!.101funjokes!.com/Www@Enter-QA@Com
I always go to aaronsjokes!.com when I need a laugh! There is any type of joke you'd want!Www@Enter-QA@Com
There's only one thing that should make you smile, the boy/girl for your dreams telling you why your so gorgeous why your amazing maybe why hes still with you and there to never let you go!.!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
www!.youtube!.com/boburnham
if you have a good sense of humor, this guy will make you laugh!.
Www@Enter-QA@Com
if you have a good sense of humor, this guy will make you laugh!.
Www@Enter-QA@Com
Go infront of a mirror and take a good look at yourself!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
um!.!.!.!.srry dont hav ani jokesWww@Enter-QA@Com