Do you have any good jokes?!
Question: Do you have any good jokes!?
Hey guys, can you guys give me some really really really good jokes!? Ones that will make me practically cry and fall off my chair!. Thanks, and plz dont' make them soooo long!. Thx again!
Star me!? =DWww@Enter-QA@Com
Star me!? =DWww@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
That's presently ma fav joke:
A little boy was doing his maths homework!.
He said to himself,
"Two plus five, the son of a bitc!.!.!. is seven!.
Three plus six, the son of a bitc!.!.!. is nine!.!.!."
His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing!?"
The little boy answered, "I'm doing my maths homework, Mom!."
"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it!?" the mother asked!.
"Yes," he answered!.
Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you
teaching my son in maths!?"
The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition!."
The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, the son of a bitc!.!.!. is four!?"
After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered,
"What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four!."
Www@Enter-QA@Com
A little boy was doing his maths homework!.
He said to himself,
"Two plus five, the son of a bitc!.!.!. is seven!.
Three plus six, the son of a bitc!.!.!. is nine!.!.!."
His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing!?"
The little boy answered, "I'm doing my maths homework, Mom!."
"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it!?" the mother asked!.
"Yes," he answered!.
Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you
teaching my son in maths!?"
The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition!."
The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, the son of a bitc!.!.!. is four!?"
After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered,
"What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four!."
Www@Enter-QA@Com
Jokes On You Teacher
One day when the teacher walked to the black board, she noticed someone had written the word 'penis' in tiny small letters!. She turned around, scanned the class looking for the guilty face!. Finding none, she quickly erased it, and began her class!.
The next day she went into the room and she saw, in larger letters, the word 'penis' again on the black board!. Again, she looked around in vain for the culprit, but found none, so she proceeded with the day's lesson!.
Every morning, for about a week, she went into the classroom and found the same word written on the board, and each day it was written in larger letters!.
Finally, one day, she walked in, expecting to be greeted by the same word on the board, but instead, found the words, "The more you rub it, the bigger it gets!"
Www@Enter-QA@Com
One day when the teacher walked to the black board, she noticed someone had written the word 'penis' in tiny small letters!. She turned around, scanned the class looking for the guilty face!. Finding none, she quickly erased it, and began her class!.
The next day she went into the room and she saw, in larger letters, the word 'penis' again on the black board!. Again, she looked around in vain for the culprit, but found none, so she proceeded with the day's lesson!.
Every morning, for about a week, she went into the classroom and found the same word written on the board, and each day it was written in larger letters!.
Finally, one day, she walked in, expecting to be greeted by the same word on the board, but instead, found the words, "The more you rub it, the bigger it gets!"
Www@Enter-QA@Com
What do you call 10 rabbits walking backwards!?
!.!.!. A receding hair line!.
______________________________________!.!.!.
Or how about (kinda long but worth it):
One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap!. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out!. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book!.
Along comes a game warden in his boat!. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning Ma'am!. What are you doing!?"
"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious!?")
"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her!.
"I'm sorry officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading!."
"Yes, but you have all the equipment!. For all I know you could start at any moment!. I'll have to take you in and write you up!."
"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman!.
"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden!.
"That's true, but you have all the equipment!. For all I know you could start at any moment!."
"Have a nice day ma'am," and he left!.
______________________________________!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
!.!.!. A receding hair line!.
______________________________________!.!.!.
Or how about (kinda long but worth it):
One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap!. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out!. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book!.
Along comes a game warden in his boat!. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning Ma'am!. What are you doing!?"
"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious!?")
"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her!.
"I'm sorry officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading!."
"Yes, but you have all the equipment!. For all I know you could start at any moment!. I'll have to take you in and write you up!."
"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman!.
"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden!.
"That's true, but you have all the equipment!. For all I know you could start at any moment!."
"Have a nice day ma'am," and he left!.
______________________________________!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
The Pickle Slicer
Bill worked in a pickle factory!. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion!. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer!.
His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed!. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own!. One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and his wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong!.
"What's wrong, Bill!?" she asked!. "Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer!?" "Oh, Bill, you didn't" she exclaimed!. "Yes, I did!." he replied!. "My God, Bill, what happened!?" "I got fired!." "No, Bill!. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer!?" "Oh!.!.!.she got fired too!."
--------
Tax Time
A woman walks into an accountant's office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes!. The accountant says, 'Before we begin, I'll need to ask you a few questions!.' He gets her name, address, social security number, etc!. and then asks, 'What's your occupation!?'
'I'm a Lady of the night,' she says!. The accountant is somewhat taken aback and says, 'Let's try to rephrase that!.'
The woman says, 'OK, I'm a high-end call girl'!. 'No, that still won't work!. Try again!.' They both think for a minute; then the woman says, 'I'm an elite chicken farmer!.' The accountant asks, 'What does chicken farming have to do with being a prostitute!?' 'Well, I raised a thousand little peckers last year!.'
'Chicken Farmer it is!.'
---------------
Swearing
A 6 year-old tells his 4 year-old brother "You know what!? I think it's about time we started cussing!." The 4 Year-olds nods his head in approval!. "When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with 'hell' and you say something with 'a**!.' ok!?" The 4 year-old agrees with enthusiasm!.
When their mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year-old what he wants for breakfast, he replies, "Aw hell Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios!."
WHACK!!! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear with every step!. She locks him in his room and shouts, "You can stay in there until I let you out!."
She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year-old and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man!?"
"I don't know, but you can bet your fat a** it won't be Cheerios!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
Bill worked in a pickle factory!. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion!. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer!.
His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed!. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own!. One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and his wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong!.
"What's wrong, Bill!?" she asked!. "Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer!?" "Oh, Bill, you didn't" she exclaimed!. "Yes, I did!." he replied!. "My God, Bill, what happened!?" "I got fired!." "No, Bill!. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer!?" "Oh!.!.!.she got fired too!."
--------
Tax Time
A woman walks into an accountant's office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes!. The accountant says, 'Before we begin, I'll need to ask you a few questions!.' He gets her name, address, social security number, etc!. and then asks, 'What's your occupation!?'
'I'm a Lady of the night,' she says!. The accountant is somewhat taken aback and says, 'Let's try to rephrase that!.'
The woman says, 'OK, I'm a high-end call girl'!. 'No, that still won't work!. Try again!.' They both think for a minute; then the woman says, 'I'm an elite chicken farmer!.' The accountant asks, 'What does chicken farming have to do with being a prostitute!?' 'Well, I raised a thousand little peckers last year!.'
'Chicken Farmer it is!.'
---------------
Swearing
A 6 year-old tells his 4 year-old brother "You know what!? I think it's about time we started cussing!." The 4 Year-olds nods his head in approval!. "When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with 'hell' and you say something with 'a**!.' ok!?" The 4 year-old agrees with enthusiasm!.
When their mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year-old what he wants for breakfast, he replies, "Aw hell Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios!."
WHACK!!! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear with every step!. She locks him in his room and shouts, "You can stay in there until I let you out!."
She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year-old and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man!?"
"I don't know, but you can bet your fat a** it won't be Cheerios!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
http://www!.guy-sports!.com/humor/jokes/jo!.!.!.
This is the funniest website ever!. I go here all the time and it still makes me laugh till I cry!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
This is the funniest website ever!. I go here all the time and it still makes me laugh till I cry!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
That was a nice joke!.!.socorro!.!.!.!.post me some too!.!.!.
For a customized solution to your query and further information please write me at
info@devilsparadise!.org
OR
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Regards
Devils ChildWww@Enter-QA@Com
For a customized solution to your query and further information please write me at
info@devilsparadise!.org
OR
devil@devilsparadise!.org
Regards
Devils ChildWww@Enter-QA@Com
3 woman in a cafe,1st woman said I'm having a boob job, 2nd woman said I'm having my twat bleached, 3rd woman said i cant imagine ur husband with blond hair!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
What do you call an elephant with no ears!?
Anything you like coz' he can't hear you!
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Anything you like coz' he can't hear you!
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Question: What does a bear on birth control and the World Series have in common!?
Answer: No Cubs!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answer: No Cubs!Www@Enter-QA@Com