How I Had Fun With A Telemarketer...!!!
Question: How I Had Fun With A Telemarketer!.!.!.!!!!Long!!!!?
What to say to a telemarketer! One of the things that has always bugged me (and I'm sure it has most of you, too) is to sit down to dinner only to be interrupted by a phone call from a telemarketer!. I decided, on one such occasion, to try to be as irritating to them as they were to me!. The call was from AT&T, and it went something like this:
Me: Hello
AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T!.!.!.!.
Me: Is this AT&T!?
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T!.!.!.!.
Me: This is AT&T!?
AT&T: Yes!. This is AT&T!.!.!.!.
Me: Is this AT&T!?
AT&T: YES! This is AT&T!. May I speak to Mr!. Salem please!?
Me: May I ask who is calling!?
AT&T: This is AT&T!.
Me: OK, hold on!.
At this point, I put the phone down for a solid 5 minutes thinking that, surely, this person would have hung up the phone!. I ate my salad!. Much to my surprise, when I picked up the receiver, she was still waiting!.
Me: Hello!?
AT&T: Is this Mr!. Salem!?
Me: May I ask who is calling please!?
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T!.!.!.!.
Me: Is this AT&T!?
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T!.!.!.!.
Me: This is AT&T!?
AT&T: Yes, is this Mr!. Salem!?
Me: Yes, is this AT&T!?
AT&T: Yes, sir!.
Me: The phone company!?
AT&T: Yes, sir!.
Me: I thought you said this was AT&T!.
AT&T: Yes, sir, we are a phone company!.
Me: I already have a phone!.
AT&T: We aren't selling phones today, Mr!. Salem!.
Me: Well, whatever it is, I'm really not interested, but thanks for calling!.
When you are not interested in something, I don't think you can express yourself any plainer than by saying "I'm really not interested", but this lady was persistent!.
AT&T: Mr!. Salem, we would like to offer you 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year!.
Now, I am sure she meant she was offering a "rate" of 10 cents a minute, but she at no time used the word "rate"!. I could clearly see that it was time to whip out the trusty old calculator and do a little ciphering!.
Me: Now, that's 10 cents a minute 24 hours a day!? AT&T: (getting a little excited at this point by my interest) Yes, sir, that's right! 24 hours a day!
Me: 7 days a week!?
AT&T: That's right!.
Me: 365 days a year!?
AT&T: Yes, sir!.
Me: I am definitely interested in that! Wow!! That's amazing!! AT&T: We think so!
Me: That's quite a sum of money!
AT&T: Yes, sir, it's amazing how it adds up!.
Me: OK, so will you send me checks weekly, monthly or just one big one at the end of the year for the full $52,560!? If you send an annual heck, can I get acash advance!?
AT&T: Excuse me!?
Me: You know, the 10 cents a minute!.
AT&T: What are you talking about!?
Me: You said you'd give me 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year!. That comes to $144 per day, $1,008 per week and $52,560 per year!. I'm just interested in knowing how you will be making payment!.
AT&T: Oh no, sir, I didn't mean we'd be paying you!. You pay us 10 cents a minute!.
Me: Wait a minute here! Didn't you say you'd give me 10 cents a minute!? Are you sure this is AT&T!?
AT&T: Well, yes, this is AT&T, sir, but!.!.!.!.
Me: But nothing! How do you figure that by saying that you'll give me 10 cents a minute that I'll give you 10 cents a minute!? Is this some kind of suliminal telemarketing scheme!? I've read about things like this in the Enquirer, you know!. Don't use your alien brainwashing techniques on me!.
AT&T: No, sir, we are offering 10 cents a minute for!.!.!.!.
Me: THERE YOU GO AGAIN! Can I speak to a supervisor please!?!!? AT&T: Sir, I don't think that is necessary!.
Me: Sure! You say that now! What happens later!? AT&T: What!?
Me: I insist on speaking to a supervisor! AT&T: Yes, Mr!. Salem!. Please hold!.
So, now AT&T has me on hold, and my supper is getting cold!. I begin to eat while I'm waiting for a supervisor!. After a wait of a few minutes and while I have a mouth full of food!.!.!.!.!.!.!.
Supervisor: Mr!. Salem!?
Me: Yeth!?
Supervisor: I understand you are not quite understanding our 10 cents a minute program!.
Me: Id thish Ath Teeth & Teeth!? (Is this AT&T)
Supervisor: Yes, sir, it sure is!.
I had to swallow before I choked on my food!. It was all I could do to suppress my laughter, and I had to be careful not to produce a snort!.
Me: No, actually I was just waiting for someone to get back to me so that I could sign up for the plan!.
Supervisor: OK, no problem, I'll transfer you back to the person who was helping you!.
Me: Thank you!.
I was on hold once again and managed a few more mouthfuls!. I needed to end this conversation!. Suddenly, there was an aggravated but polite voice at the other end of the phone!.
AT&T: Hello, Mr!. Salem!. I understand that you are interested in signing up for our plan!?
Me: Do you have that friends and family thing because you can never have enough friends and I'm an only child and I'd really like to have a little brother!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.
AT&T: (click)
Note From Me: When I get a call from a telemarketer I prefer to give them options!. I simply tell them Steve is not here right now but would they prefer to speak to Slob Boy, Gutter Boy, BrainDead MWww@Enter-QA@Com
Me: Hello
AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T!.!.!.!.
Me: Is this AT&T!?
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T!.!.!.!.
Me: This is AT&T!?
AT&T: Yes!. This is AT&T!.!.!.!.
Me: Is this AT&T!?
AT&T: YES! This is AT&T!. May I speak to Mr!. Salem please!?
Me: May I ask who is calling!?
AT&T: This is AT&T!.
Me: OK, hold on!.
At this point, I put the phone down for a solid 5 minutes thinking that, surely, this person would have hung up the phone!. I ate my salad!. Much to my surprise, when I picked up the receiver, she was still waiting!.
Me: Hello!?
AT&T: Is this Mr!. Salem!?
Me: May I ask who is calling please!?
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T!.!.!.!.
Me: Is this AT&T!?
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T!.!.!.!.
Me: This is AT&T!?
AT&T: Yes, is this Mr!. Salem!?
Me: Yes, is this AT&T!?
AT&T: Yes, sir!.
Me: The phone company!?
AT&T: Yes, sir!.
Me: I thought you said this was AT&T!.
AT&T: Yes, sir, we are a phone company!.
Me: I already have a phone!.
AT&T: We aren't selling phones today, Mr!. Salem!.
Me: Well, whatever it is, I'm really not interested, but thanks for calling!.
When you are not interested in something, I don't think you can express yourself any plainer than by saying "I'm really not interested", but this lady was persistent!.
AT&T: Mr!. Salem, we would like to offer you 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year!.
Now, I am sure she meant she was offering a "rate" of 10 cents a minute, but she at no time used the word "rate"!. I could clearly see that it was time to whip out the trusty old calculator and do a little ciphering!.
Me: Now, that's 10 cents a minute 24 hours a day!? AT&T: (getting a little excited at this point by my interest) Yes, sir, that's right! 24 hours a day!
Me: 7 days a week!?
AT&T: That's right!.
Me: 365 days a year!?
AT&T: Yes, sir!.
Me: I am definitely interested in that! Wow!! That's amazing!! AT&T: We think so!
Me: That's quite a sum of money!
AT&T: Yes, sir, it's amazing how it adds up!.
Me: OK, so will you send me checks weekly, monthly or just one big one at the end of the year for the full $52,560!? If you send an annual heck, can I get acash advance!?
AT&T: Excuse me!?
Me: You know, the 10 cents a minute!.
AT&T: What are you talking about!?
Me: You said you'd give me 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year!. That comes to $144 per day, $1,008 per week and $52,560 per year!. I'm just interested in knowing how you will be making payment!.
AT&T: Oh no, sir, I didn't mean we'd be paying you!. You pay us 10 cents a minute!.
Me: Wait a minute here! Didn't you say you'd give me 10 cents a minute!? Are you sure this is AT&T!?
AT&T: Well, yes, this is AT&T, sir, but!.!.!.!.
Me: But nothing! How do you figure that by saying that you'll give me 10 cents a minute that I'll give you 10 cents a minute!? Is this some kind of suliminal telemarketing scheme!? I've read about things like this in the Enquirer, you know!. Don't use your alien brainwashing techniques on me!.
AT&T: No, sir, we are offering 10 cents a minute for!.!.!.!.
Me: THERE YOU GO AGAIN! Can I speak to a supervisor please!?!!? AT&T: Sir, I don't think that is necessary!.
Me: Sure! You say that now! What happens later!? AT&T: What!?
Me: I insist on speaking to a supervisor! AT&T: Yes, Mr!. Salem!. Please hold!.
So, now AT&T has me on hold, and my supper is getting cold!. I begin to eat while I'm waiting for a supervisor!. After a wait of a few minutes and while I have a mouth full of food!.!.!.!.!.!.!.
Supervisor: Mr!. Salem!?
Me: Yeth!?
Supervisor: I understand you are not quite understanding our 10 cents a minute program!.
Me: Id thish Ath Teeth & Teeth!? (Is this AT&T)
Supervisor: Yes, sir, it sure is!.
I had to swallow before I choked on my food!. It was all I could do to suppress my laughter, and I had to be careful not to produce a snort!.
Me: No, actually I was just waiting for someone to get back to me so that I could sign up for the plan!.
Supervisor: OK, no problem, I'll transfer you back to the person who was helping you!.
Me: Thank you!.
I was on hold once again and managed a few more mouthfuls!. I needed to end this conversation!. Suddenly, there was an aggravated but polite voice at the other end of the phone!.
AT&T: Hello, Mr!. Salem!. I understand that you are interested in signing up for our plan!?
Me: Do you have that friends and family thing because you can never have enough friends and I'm an only child and I'd really like to have a little brother!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.
AT&T: (click)
Note From Me: When I get a call from a telemarketer I prefer to give them options!. I simply tell them Steve is not here right now but would they prefer to speak to Slob Boy, Gutter Boy, BrainDead MWww@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
Let's get married, Mr!. Salem!.
You are the greatest!. Hahahahahahahh!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
You are the greatest!. Hahahahahahahh!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
THAT WAS OS WORTH THE LONG READ!!!!THAT WAS RILLY FUNNY!!!!!!Www@Enter-QA@Com
THAT WAS OS WORTH THE LONG READ!!!!THAT WAS RILLY FUNNY!!!!!!Www@Enter-QA@Com
That's really funny!. Haha!. Www@Enter-QA@Com
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!.!.!.
Thats hilarious!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Thats hilarious!Www@Enter-QA@Com
lmao!.!. thats hilarious!
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LOL
that was worth the long read!!!!!
Rock on!!! ;)Www@Enter-QA@Com
that was worth the long read!!!!!
Rock on!!! ;)Www@Enter-QA@Com
I read it, and its funny!!! haha!Www@Enter-QA@Com
haha those people p!ss me off Www@Enter-QA@Com
that was a waste of my timeWww@Enter-QA@Com
haha no one is going to read that!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Ha ha ha I should try that one day!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
I'd be careful with any telephone marketeer!. They are totally unethical and will bait and switch you to death!. One time I had an irritating call at work and two month later my employeer found out some other telephone carrier had claimed that I approved a change to the phone carrier!. Of course I hadn't!.
I'd like to put some of these wachos in jail for corporate fraud!. The cell phone and telephone companies are totally out of control!. Just be careful next time!.
Www@Enter-QA@Com
I'd like to put some of these wachos in jail for corporate fraud!. The cell phone and telephone companies are totally out of control!. Just be careful next time!.
Www@Enter-QA@Com