Tell me your really funny jokes?!
Question: Tell me your really funny jokes!?
need some jokes - not keen on the blonde jokes as i think there boring, but rudes fine
thankyou - 10 points for the best joke and a thumbs upWww@Enter-QA@Com
thankyou - 10 points for the best joke and a thumbs upWww@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
Behaviorist Solution
Joe has been seeing a psychoanalyst for four years for treatment of the fear that he had monsters under his bed!. It had been years since he had gotten a good night's sleep!. Furthermore, his progress was very poor, and he knew it!. So, one day he stops seeing the psychoanalyst and decides to try something different!.
A few weeks later, Joe's former psychoanalyst meets his old client in the supermarket, and is surprised to find him looking well-rested, energetic, and cheerful!. "Doc!" Joe says, "It's amazing! I'm cured!" "That's great news!" the psychoanalyst says!. "you seem to be doing much better!. How!?"
"I went to see another doctor," Joe says enthusiastically, "and he cured me in just ONE session!" "One!?!" the psychoanalyst asks incredulously!. "Yeah," continues Joe, "my new doctor is a behaviorist!." "A behaviorist!?" the psychoanalyst asks!. "How did he cure you in one session!?" "
Oh, easy," says Joe!. "He told me to cut the legs off of my bed!."
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Joe has been seeing a psychoanalyst for four years for treatment of the fear that he had monsters under his bed!. It had been years since he had gotten a good night's sleep!. Furthermore, his progress was very poor, and he knew it!. So, one day he stops seeing the psychoanalyst and decides to try something different!.
A few weeks later, Joe's former psychoanalyst meets his old client in the supermarket, and is surprised to find him looking well-rested, energetic, and cheerful!. "Doc!" Joe says, "It's amazing! I'm cured!" "That's great news!" the psychoanalyst says!. "you seem to be doing much better!. How!?"
"I went to see another doctor," Joe says enthusiastically, "and he cured me in just ONE session!" "One!?!" the psychoanalyst asks incredulously!. "Yeah," continues Joe, "my new doctor is a behaviorist!." "A behaviorist!?" the psychoanalyst asks!. "How did he cure you in one session!?" "
Oh, easy," says Joe!. "He told me to cut the legs off of my bed!."
Www@Enter-QA@Com
A little boy was doing his maths homework!.
He said to himself,
"Two plus five, the son of a bitc!.!.!. is seven!.
Three plus six, the son of a bitc!.!.!. is nine!.!.!."
His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing!?"
The little boy answered, "I'm doing my maths homework, Mom!."
"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it!?" the mother asked!.
"Yes," he answered!.
Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you
teaching my son in maths!?"
The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition!."
The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, the son of a bitc!.!.!. is four!?"
After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered,
"What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four!."
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A man was out driving, when he came across a flock of sheep!. He got out of his car, and walked over to the shepherd tending the sheep!. He asked,
"Are you a betting man!?"
"Why do you ask!?", said the shepherd!.
"I'll bet you $20, to one of your sheep, that I can guess the size of your flock!.", he said!.
"You're on", said the shepherd, "How many sheep have I got!?"
"367", came the answer!.
"That's amazing," exclaimed the shepherd, "You're absolutely right! go and pick yourself a sheep!." Having claimed his prize, the man was walking away, when the shepherd called out to him!.
"How about another bet- double or nothing!.", he challenged!.
"What's the bet!?", said the man!.
"I'll bet you that I can tell your occupation, and who you work for!."
"That's a bet!." said the man!. "What do I do!?"
"You're a marketing consultant, and you work for the government!.", said the shepherd!.
"That's amazing," said the man!. "How did you figure that out!?" The shepherd smiled!. "Put down my dog, and I'll tell you!." Www@Enter-QA@Com
"Are you a betting man!?"
"Why do you ask!?", said the shepherd!.
"I'll bet you $20, to one of your sheep, that I can guess the size of your flock!.", he said!.
"You're on", said the shepherd, "How many sheep have I got!?"
"367", came the answer!.
"That's amazing," exclaimed the shepherd, "You're absolutely right! go and pick yourself a sheep!." Having claimed his prize, the man was walking away, when the shepherd called out to him!.
"How about another bet- double or nothing!.", he challenged!.
"What's the bet!?", said the man!.
"I'll bet you that I can tell your occupation, and who you work for!."
"That's a bet!." said the man!. "What do I do!?"
"You're a marketing consultant, and you work for the government!.", said the shepherd!.
"That's amazing," said the man!. "How did you figure that out!?" The shepherd smiled!. "Put down my dog, and I'll tell you!." Www@Enter-QA@Com
ONE DAY I SAW THIS GORGEOS LADY AND I SAID HOW YOU DOING AND SUDDENLY SHE KISSED ME AND AFTER THAT WE KEEP SEEING EACH OTHER AND ONE NIGHT I SAW HER IN A CLUB CALLED CLUB OF THE WORLDS STARING TOM CRUISE
ONE SEC I SAW HER BEARD AND I SAID ARE YOU A MALE AND KATRINA SAID NO IM A MA LE AND I SAID WHAT THE **** Www@Enter-QA@Com
ONE SEC I SAW HER BEARD AND I SAID ARE YOU A MALE AND KATRINA SAID NO IM A MA LE AND I SAID WHAT THE **** Www@Enter-QA@Com
I COULD!.!.!. but that would take effort!. EFFORT!Www@Enter-QA@Com