Favorite pirate jokes?!
Question: Favorite pirate jokes!?
In honor of tomorrow being designated "International Talk Like a Pirate Day", I'm collecting great pirate jokes to tort!.!.!.I mean entertain my coworkers!. Got any to share!?Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
Why did the pirate get a job with the IRS!?
Natural selection!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Natural selection!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
One Halloween there was a little boy with a speech impediment who got all dressed up and went out trick-or-treating!. He knocked on the first door a lady opened it up!.
"Bick or Beat!" he cried!.
"Excuse me!?" the lady replied, looking a little confused!.
"Bick or Beat!" he repeated!.
"Oh! Trick or treat! Of course!. I'm sorry," she said!. "And just what are you supposed to be!?"
"I'm a birate!" the boy exclaimed!.
"A what!?" she asked!.
"A birate!"
"Oh, you're a pirate!" She grabbed a handful of candy, but before she gave it him she asked "Well, if you're a pirate, where are your buccaneers!?"
The little boy shook his head in disgust and anger and said "Their on my buckin' head, open your buckin' eyes!"
Or something like that!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
"Bick or Beat!" he cried!.
"Excuse me!?" the lady replied, looking a little confused!.
"Bick or Beat!" he repeated!.
"Oh! Trick or treat! Of course!. I'm sorry," she said!. "And just what are you supposed to be!?"
"I'm a birate!" the boy exclaimed!.
"A what!?" she asked!.
"A birate!"
"Oh, you're a pirate!" She grabbed a handful of candy, but before she gave it him she asked "Well, if you're a pirate, where are your buccaneers!?"
The little boy shook his head in disgust and anger and said "Their on my buckin' head, open your buckin' eyes!"
Or something like that!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
A soldier meets a pirate in a bar, and the talk turns to their adventures!. The soldier notes that the pirate has a peg leg, a hook and an eye patch!.
“How did you end up with a peg leg!?” he asks!.
The pirate replies, “I was swept overboard into a school of sharks!. As my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off!.”
“Wow!” says the soldier!. “What about your hook!?”
“Well,” answers the pirate, “we were boarding a ship when one of the enemy hacked off my hand!.”
“Incredible!. How’d you get the eye patch!?”
“A grapefruit squirted in my eye,” the pirate replies!.
“You lost your eye to grapefruit juice!?”
“Well,” says the pirate, “it was my first day with the new hook!.”Www@Enter-QA@Com
“How did you end up with a peg leg!?” he asks!.
The pirate replies, “I was swept overboard into a school of sharks!. As my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off!.”
“Wow!” says the soldier!. “What about your hook!?”
“Well,” answers the pirate, “we were boarding a ship when one of the enemy hacked off my hand!.”
“Incredible!. How’d you get the eye patch!?”
“A grapefruit squirted in my eye,” the pirate replies!.
“You lost your eye to grapefruit juice!?”
“Well,” says the pirate, “it was my first day with the new hook!.”Www@Enter-QA@Com
A Misunderstanding
A pirate walks into a bar with a mangy, infected parrot on his shoulder!.
The bartender says, "You shouldn't be that close to something so disgusting, such a low-life animal!."
The pirate says, "Arr, it's ok, he's had his shots!."
Then the bartender says!.!.!. "I was talking to the parrot!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
Why couldn't the little boy get into the pirate move!? 'Cause it was rated 'Rrrrrr'!. Hahahaha!. :D What's a pirates favorite letter!? 'Rrrr'!. Ohh they never get old!.Www@Enter-QA@Com