I need a really good lawyer joke?!
Question: I need a really good lawyer joke!?
Preferably clean, but it doesn't really matter too much!. Thank you!!!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
A Russian, a Cuban, an American and a Lawyer are in a train!.
The Russian takes a bootle of the Best Vodka out of his pack; pours some into a glass, drinks it, and says: “In USSR, we have the best vodka of the world, nowhere in the world you can find Vodka as good as the one we produce in Ukrainia!. And we have so much of it, that we can just throw it away…” Saying that, he open the window and throw the rest of the bottle thru it!. All the others are quite impressed!.
The Cuban takes a pack of Havanas, takes one of them, lights it and begins to smoke it saying: “In Cuba, we have the best cigars of the world: Havanas, nowhere in the world there is so many and so good cigare and we have so much of them, that we can just throw them away…”!. Saying that, he throws the pack of havanas thru the window!. One more time, everybody is quite impressed!.
At this time, the American just stands up, opens the window, and throws the Lawyer through it…
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The Russian takes a bootle of the Best Vodka out of his pack; pours some into a glass, drinks it, and says: “In USSR, we have the best vodka of the world, nowhere in the world you can find Vodka as good as the one we produce in Ukrainia!. And we have so much of it, that we can just throw it away…” Saying that, he open the window and throw the rest of the bottle thru it!. All the others are quite impressed!.
The Cuban takes a pack of Havanas, takes one of them, lights it and begins to smoke it saying: “In Cuba, we have the best cigars of the world: Havanas, nowhere in the world there is so many and so good cigare and we have so much of them, that we can just throw them away…”!. Saying that, he throws the pack of havanas thru the window!. One more time, everybody is quite impressed!.
At this time, the American just stands up, opens the window, and throws the Lawyer through it…
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A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean!.
The lawyer said, "I'm here because my house burned down, and all I owned was destroyed by the fire!. The insurance company paid for everything and I'm using some of the insurance money for this trip!."
"That's quite a coincidence," said the engineer!. "I'm here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything!."
The lawyer looked confused!.!.!. "How do you start a flood!?"
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The Brothel
The madam opened the brothel door in Winnipeg and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties!.
”May I help you sir!?' she asked!. I want to see Valerie”, the man replied!.
”Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies!. Perhaps you would prefer someone else”, said the madam!.
”No, I must see Valerie,” he replied!.
Just then, Valerie appeared and announced to the man she charged $5000 a visit!. Without hesitation, the man pulled out five thousand dollars and gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs!. After an hour, the man calmly left!.
The next night, the man appeared again, once more demanding to see Valerie!. Valerie explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row as she was too expensive!. But there were no discounts!. The price was still $5000!.
Again, the man pulled out the money, gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs!. After an hour, he left!.
The following night the man was there yet again!. Everyone was astounded that he had come for a third consecutive night, but he paid Valerie and they went upstairs!.
After their session, Valerie said to the man, 'No one has ever been with me three nights in a row!. Where are you from!?”
The man replied, “Ontario”!.
”Really!?”, she said!. “I have family in Ontario”!.
”I know”, the man said!. “Your sister died, and I am her attorney!. She asked me to give you your $15,000 inheritance!.”
The moral of the story is that three things in life are certain!.1!. Death2!. Taxes3!. Being screwed by a lawyerWww@Enter-QA@Com
The lawyer said, "I'm here because my house burned down, and all I owned was destroyed by the fire!. The insurance company paid for everything and I'm using some of the insurance money for this trip!."
"That's quite a coincidence," said the engineer!. "I'm here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything!."
The lawyer looked confused!.!.!. "How do you start a flood!?"
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The Brothel
The madam opened the brothel door in Winnipeg and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties!.
”May I help you sir!?' she asked!. I want to see Valerie”, the man replied!.
”Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies!. Perhaps you would prefer someone else”, said the madam!.
”No, I must see Valerie,” he replied!.
Just then, Valerie appeared and announced to the man she charged $5000 a visit!. Without hesitation, the man pulled out five thousand dollars and gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs!. After an hour, the man calmly left!.
The next night, the man appeared again, once more demanding to see Valerie!. Valerie explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row as she was too expensive!. But there were no discounts!. The price was still $5000!.
Again, the man pulled out the money, gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs!. After an hour, he left!.
The following night the man was there yet again!. Everyone was astounded that he had come for a third consecutive night, but he paid Valerie and they went upstairs!.
After their session, Valerie said to the man, 'No one has ever been with me three nights in a row!. Where are you from!?”
The man replied, “Ontario”!.
”Really!?”, she said!. “I have family in Ontario”!.
”I know”, the man said!. “Your sister died, and I am her attorney!. She asked me to give you your $15,000 inheritance!.”
The moral of the story is that three things in life are certain!.1!. Death2!. Taxes3!. Being screwed by a lawyerWww@Enter-QA@Com
Do you know what a SHAME is!?
A busload of lawyers going off a Cliff!.
Do you know what a Crying shame is!?
There was an empty seat on the bus!
Why won't a shark bite a lawyer!?
professional courtesy
How many lawyer jokes are there!?
only three - the rest are true stories Www@Enter-QA@Com
A busload of lawyers going off a Cliff!.
Do you know what a Crying shame is!?
There was an empty seat on the bus!
Why won't a shark bite a lawyer!?
professional courtesy
How many lawyer jokes are there!?
only three - the rest are true stories Www@Enter-QA@Com
www!.Lawyer!.com/lawyerjokes
www!.lawyer-jokes!.usWww@Enter-QA@Com
www!.lawyer-jokes!.usWww@Enter-QA@Com
where do vampires learn to suck blood!?
law school!.
how many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb!?
as many as you can afford!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
law school!.
how many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb!?
as many as you can afford!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
The difference between a lawyer and a dead dog in the road!.!.!? There are skid marks by the dog!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
You want a joke about a liayer!?
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There aren't any!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
what happens if you give a lawyer viagra!?
he gets tallerWww@Enter-QA@Com
he gets tallerWww@Enter-QA@Com