What about this is it funny or could it be true ?!
Question: What about this is it funny or could it be true !?
Please read below:
Company Policy:
Effective from october 2008
Dress Code
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary!. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise!. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise!. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise!.
Sick Days
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness!. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work!.
Personal Days
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year!. They are called Saturday & Sunday!.
Bereavement Leave
This is no excuse for missing work!. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers!. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements!. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon!. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early!.
Toilet Use
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet!. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls!. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken!. After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders category"!. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy!.
Lunch Break
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy!. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure!. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast!.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company!. We are here to provide a positive employment experience!. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere!.
The Management
Www@Enter-QA@Com
Company Policy:
Effective from october 2008
Dress Code
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary!. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise!. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise!. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise!.
Sick Days
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness!. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work!.
Personal Days
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year!. They are called Saturday & Sunday!.
Bereavement Leave
This is no excuse for missing work!. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers!. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements!. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon!. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early!.
Toilet Use
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet!. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls!. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken!. After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders category"!. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy!.
Lunch Break
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy!. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure!. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast!.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company!. We are here to provide a positive employment experience!. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere!.
The Management
Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
good one!.!.!.bereavement leave!.!.!.!.and toilet !.!.!.lolWww@Enter-QA@Com
Very good! Maybe this is the policy that yahoo! Inc has in place, thats why the answers team takes so many coffee breaks and breathers!. Bet the photo's in the crapper would be very candid!
A star for youWww@Enter-QA@Com
A star for youWww@Enter-QA@Com
thats BRILLIANT!!!! :P
espeically the toilet use one actually made me laugh right out loud!Www@Enter-QA@Com
espeically the toilet use one actually made me laugh right out loud!Www@Enter-QA@Com
ha ha ha!!! i love the Company's policies!!! but i would definitely not love to work for that Company!!!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Haha yes, very funny!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
lol Funny
I thought the toilet use one was hilarious
Couldn't be true or could it!?Www@Enter-QA@Com
I thought the toilet use one was hilarious
Couldn't be true or could it!?Www@Enter-QA@Com
ah classic satireWww@Enter-QA@Com
Wow very funny lol xxWww@Enter-QA@Com
funny!.!.!.i like the toilet part :))Www@Enter-QA@Com
Incredibly funny, that's the best one I've read on here today! A massive thumbs up!Www@Enter-QA@Com
ROFL that's funnyWww@Enter-QA@Com
how much is my severance payWww@Enter-QA@Com
hahahaha that is soo funny!!!
thanks :-)
ps!. gave you a star
xx
Www@Enter-QA@Com
thanks :-)
ps!. gave you a star
xx
Www@Enter-QA@Com
LMAO! HAHAHA I NEED TO WORK HERE LOL! (u deserve a *)Www@Enter-QA@Com
thats my works rulesWww@Enter-QA@Com
9/10 Whilst your spelling and grammar have shown great improvement during the last term,there are certain elements of your writing that I find hard to understand!.
For instance, why is it you always have to write as if you consider yourself to have total control over everyone else!.I will certainly be speaking to your parents about this facet of your work!.It portrays an underlying weakness on your part and shows an inability to accept the fact that underneath all this bravado there is nothing more than a mere mortal who, in reality needs to wind his neck in!.
Next term begins on Jan 01/10!. Www@Enter-QA@Com
For instance, why is it you always have to write as if you consider yourself to have total control over everyone else!.I will certainly be speaking to your parents about this facet of your work!.It portrays an underlying weakness on your part and shows an inability to accept the fact that underneath all this bravado there is nothing more than a mere mortal who, in reality needs to wind his neck in!.
Next term begins on Jan 01/10!. Www@Enter-QA@Com