Joke suggestions xxxxxxxxxx?!
Question: Joke suggestions xxxxxxxxxx!?
we need a joke for a school audition!. it is for three people, but we do not mind if the joke isnt, we can adapt it!. please, no rude ones, or ones that are extremely long!. thanks!!!!!!!!! xWww@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
Little Johnny Wants to Get Married!.
°°°°°°°°°°°°
One day Little Johnny says to his father:
I want to get married!.
Father: Oh, so do you have someone special in your mind!?
Johnny: Yes , Gradma!.
Father: What!? There is a problem now, you want to marry my mother!?
Johnny: Why not!? You married my mother!.
Www@Enter-QA@Com
Q whats big and green
A a field
Q whats round and looks like a circle
A a circle
Q whats big grey and cant climb trees
A a carpark
Q why do all the birds fly south in the winter
A its too far to walk
Q why did the baby koala fall out of the tree
A cause it was dead
Q what has 8 legs and girls are afraid of it
A gang rxpe
Q whats orange and sounds like a parrot
A a carrot
Q whats black and white and has one eye
A my cat
Q how many men does it take to wallpaper a room
A 1 but you have to slice him really thin
Q have you seen stevie wonders new car
A no but neither has he
Q why are pirates called pirates
A because they arrrrrrrrrrr
Q what kind of phone doesnt have a cord
A a mobile phone
Q why dont blind people like to skydive
A it scares the hell out of the dog
Q what do skcuds say
A kcauq
Q what did the bird say when it layed a square egg
A ow
Q why did the bull charge into the car
A because it was red
Q what do black people wear on their feet
A shoes, racist
Q whats mary short for
A she hasnt got any legsWww@Enter-QA@Com
A a field
Q whats round and looks like a circle
A a circle
Q whats big grey and cant climb trees
A a carpark
Q why do all the birds fly south in the winter
A its too far to walk
Q why did the baby koala fall out of the tree
A cause it was dead
Q what has 8 legs and girls are afraid of it
A gang rxpe
Q whats orange and sounds like a parrot
A a carrot
Q whats black and white and has one eye
A my cat
Q how many men does it take to wallpaper a room
A 1 but you have to slice him really thin
Q have you seen stevie wonders new car
A no but neither has he
Q why are pirates called pirates
A because they arrrrrrrrrrr
Q what kind of phone doesnt have a cord
A a mobile phone
Q why dont blind people like to skydive
A it scares the hell out of the dog
Q what do skcuds say
A kcauq
Q what did the bird say when it layed a square egg
A ow
Q why did the bull charge into the car
A because it was red
Q what do black people wear on their feet
A shoes, racist
Q whats mary short for
A she hasnt got any legsWww@Enter-QA@Com
A female school teacher comes up to a parent at a parent meeting and says, "You know, your son called me a prostitute!"
Dad calls up his son and says: "So this teacher teaches you, helps you, wants you to get good grades and for all that you call her a prostitute!?!? what do you care about what she does after work!?"
A teacher cautiously approaches the subject of sex education with her fourth grade class because she realizes Little Johnny's propensity for sexual innuendo!. But Johnny remains attentive throughout the entire lecture!. Finally, towards the end of the lesson, the teacher asks for examples of sex education from the class!. One little boy raises his hand, "I saw a bird in her nest with some eggs!." "Very good, William," cooed the teacher!.
"My mommy had a baby," said little Esther!. "Oh, that's nice," replied the teacher!. Finally, little Johnny raises his hand!. With much fear and trepidation, the teacher calls on him!. "I was watchin' TV yesterday, and I saw the Lone Ranger!. He was surrounded by hundreds and hundreds of Indians!. And they all attacked at one time!. And he killed every one of them with his two guns!." The teacher was relieved but puzzled, "And what does that have to do with sex education, Johnny!?" "It'll teach those Indians not to f*ck with the Lone Ranger!."
Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left!?" "None," replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away!." "Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking!."
Little Johnny says, "I have a question for you!. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was sucking her cone, which one is married!?"
"Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone!."
"No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking!."
Little April was not the best student in Sunday school!.
Usually she slept through the class!.
One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe!?"
When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear!. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep!.
A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber!. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again!. 'JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep!.
Then the teacher asked April a third question!. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child!?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin!. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ****!"
The Teacher fainted!.
here was a trucker riding along on a highway, While riding he sees a priest on the side of the road sticking his thumb out trying to catch a ride!. So out of curtisy the trucker stops and picks up the priest!. They start chatting and having a good time!. On the way they see a homeless person on the side of the street!. The truckers veers off and hits the homeless person!. *bu-dump* the trucker sees homeless person,*bu-dump* the driver who is laughing histerically wasn't watching the road and there was another bu-dump, The driver immediatly stops and looks around nervous!."what was that!?" he looks at the priest and the priest looks back!."You missed a homeless guy, but don't worry I got him with the door!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
Dad calls up his son and says: "So this teacher teaches you, helps you, wants you to get good grades and for all that you call her a prostitute!?!? what do you care about what she does after work!?"
A teacher cautiously approaches the subject of sex education with her fourth grade class because she realizes Little Johnny's propensity for sexual innuendo!. But Johnny remains attentive throughout the entire lecture!. Finally, towards the end of the lesson, the teacher asks for examples of sex education from the class!. One little boy raises his hand, "I saw a bird in her nest with some eggs!." "Very good, William," cooed the teacher!.
"My mommy had a baby," said little Esther!. "Oh, that's nice," replied the teacher!. Finally, little Johnny raises his hand!. With much fear and trepidation, the teacher calls on him!. "I was watchin' TV yesterday, and I saw the Lone Ranger!. He was surrounded by hundreds and hundreds of Indians!. And they all attacked at one time!. And he killed every one of them with his two guns!." The teacher was relieved but puzzled, "And what does that have to do with sex education, Johnny!?" "It'll teach those Indians not to f*ck with the Lone Ranger!."
Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left!?" "None," replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away!." "Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking!."
Little Johnny says, "I have a question for you!. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was sucking her cone, which one is married!?"
"Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone!."
"No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking!."
Little April was not the best student in Sunday school!.
Usually she slept through the class!.
One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe!?"
When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear!. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep!.
A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber!. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again!. 'JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep!.
Then the teacher asked April a third question!. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child!?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin!. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ****!"
The Teacher fainted!.
here was a trucker riding along on a highway, While riding he sees a priest on the side of the road sticking his thumb out trying to catch a ride!. So out of curtisy the trucker stops and picks up the priest!. They start chatting and having a good time!. On the way they see a homeless person on the side of the street!. The truckers veers off and hits the homeless person!. *bu-dump* the trucker sees homeless person,*bu-dump* the driver who is laughing histerically wasn't watching the road and there was another bu-dump, The driver immediatly stops and looks around nervous!."what was that!?" he looks at the priest and the priest looks back!."You missed a homeless guy, but don't worry I got him with the door!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
what do you get wheb you pass a snowmen and a werewolf!.!.!.
a frostbiteWww@Enter-QA@Com
a frostbiteWww@Enter-QA@Com
What does A and flowers have in common!?
There is 'B' after it!Www@Enter-QA@Com
There is 'B' after it!Www@Enter-QA@Com