Joke contest here! Easy 10 points!!?!
Question: Joke contest here! Easy 10 points!!!?
Tell me the best jokes you can think of it's an easy ten points for the winner!
Any types of jokes will work it doesn't matter what kind!. Best joke wins! Www@Enter-QA@Com
Any types of jokes will work it doesn't matter what kind!. Best joke wins! Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
Two friends, a blonde and a redhead, are walking down the
> > street and
> > pass a flower shop where the redhead sees her boyfriend
> > buying her
> > flowers!.
> >
> > The Redhead sighs and says: 'Oh crap, my boy friend is
> > buying me
> > flowers again!.
> >
> > The blonde looks quizzically at her and says: 'You
> > don't like getting>
> > flowers from your boyfriend!?'
> >
> > The redhead replies: 'I love getting flowers, but he
> > always has
> > expectations after giving me flowers, and I just don't
> > feel like
> > spending the next three days on my back with my legs in the
> > air!.'
> >
> > The blonde says: !.!.!.!.!.!.'Don't you have a vase!?'
There was a blonde girl going to the first grade!. Every kid could count up to 10 but she could count up to 20!. The blonde went home and told her mom "Mom, How come I could count to 20 and the other kids can only count to 10!?' the mom replied, "That's because you're smart, honey!." The next day, the kids could say the alphabet up to H but the blonde girl could say up to L!. The blonde girl went home and said to her mom, "Mom, how come I could say up to L in the alphabet but the other kids only said up to H!?" the mom replied, "That's because you're smart, honey!." The next day, the blonde girl went to school and saw that all the other girls were flat chested but she had adult breasts!. She went home and said to her mom, "Mom, how come the other girls are flat chested but I have these!?" the mom replied, "That's because you're 21, honey!."
Thanks! =]
*Www@Enter-QA@Com
> > street and
> > pass a flower shop where the redhead sees her boyfriend
> > buying her
> > flowers!.
> >
> > The Redhead sighs and says: 'Oh crap, my boy friend is
> > buying me
> > flowers again!.
> >
> > The blonde looks quizzically at her and says: 'You
> > don't like getting>
> > flowers from your boyfriend!?'
> >
> > The redhead replies: 'I love getting flowers, but he
> > always has
> > expectations after giving me flowers, and I just don't
> > feel like
> > spending the next three days on my back with my legs in the
> > air!.'
> >
> > The blonde says: !.!.!.!.!.!.'Don't you have a vase!?'
There was a blonde girl going to the first grade!. Every kid could count up to 10 but she could count up to 20!. The blonde went home and told her mom "Mom, How come I could count to 20 and the other kids can only count to 10!?' the mom replied, "That's because you're smart, honey!." The next day, the kids could say the alphabet up to H but the blonde girl could say up to L!. The blonde girl went home and said to her mom, "Mom, how come I could say up to L in the alphabet but the other kids only said up to H!?" the mom replied, "That's because you're smart, honey!." The next day, the blonde girl went to school and saw that all the other girls were flat chested but she had adult breasts!. She went home and said to her mom, "Mom, how come the other girls are flat chested but I have these!?" the mom replied, "That's because you're 21, honey!."
Thanks! =]
*Www@Enter-QA@Com
an old couple have lived together for 30 years!. every morning, the husband wakes up and lets out a long, loud fart!. the wife always told him that he would fart out his guts!. one day, the wife got sick of it and decided to play a joke on him!. while he was sleeping, she took some turkey giblets and put it in the bed next to him!. the next morning, she was downstairs and she heard the loud fart followed by a loud scream!. the husband came downstairs and said "honey, you were right, i farted my guts out! but, with the help of these 2 fingers and some vaseline, i managed to get most of them back in!"
a pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel around his groin!. the bartender asks him what it's for and he says "arrr, it drives me nuts!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
a pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel around his groin!. the bartender asks him what it's for and he says "arrr, it drives me nuts!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
A blonde, brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island, its about a mile to shore!. The Brunette decides to head for shore, she gets about 3/4 of the way there, gets exhausted, and drowns!. Next the red head decides to head for shore, she gets about 3/4 of the way there, gets exhausted, and drowns!. Next the blonde is like 'What am I going to do!?' So she decides to swim, she gets about half way there, decides its to far, and swims back!.
A blonde, brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island, they find and old bottle, open it, and a genie pops out, the genie said 'I will grant you each one wish!.' The brunette said 'I wish I was outta here!' Poof, she was gone!. The red head said 'I wish I was outta here!' Poof, she was gone!. The blonde said 'I wish they were here!.'
A blonde, brunette, and a red head are driving down the road when the cop pulls them over, he told them that they were speeding and that he would give them a warning but next time he pulled them over they would get a ticket!. Well they are driving along and forget about the cop when they see blue lights, they pull over to the side of the road, the cop told them that they were speeding, he gave them a ticket and told them that next time he pulls them over that they will go to jail!. Well they are driving along, listening to the radio, they stopped by and paid the ticket off, and forgot about the cop when they hear blue lights, so they go over the hill, pull over to the side of the road, and jump out!. The brunette jumps in a tree, the red head jumps in a bush, and the blonde jumps in a potatoe sack!. The cop see's there car and pulls over!. He kicks the tree, 'meow', he kicks the bush, 'woof-woof', he kicks the potatoe sack, 'Po-Ta-Toe!.'
Last one,
The cabin boy come down and knocks on the captains door, the captain goes, 'What is Lad!?' The cabin boy goes, 'Sir, we are surrounded by an enemy ship, what would you like me to do!.' The captain goes, 'Go and get me my red shirt!.' The cabin boy goes, 'Sir,why red!?' The captain goes, 'So if i get wounded by the enemy ship ye wont see me bleedin'!.' They sucessfully won that battle!. The next night the cabin boy goes, 'Sir, we are surrounded by 100 enemy ships, what would you like me to do!.' The captain goes, 'Go and get me my brown pants!.'Www@Enter-QA@Com
A blonde, brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island, they find and old bottle, open it, and a genie pops out, the genie said 'I will grant you each one wish!.' The brunette said 'I wish I was outta here!' Poof, she was gone!. The red head said 'I wish I was outta here!' Poof, she was gone!. The blonde said 'I wish they were here!.'
A blonde, brunette, and a red head are driving down the road when the cop pulls them over, he told them that they were speeding and that he would give them a warning but next time he pulled them over they would get a ticket!. Well they are driving along and forget about the cop when they see blue lights, they pull over to the side of the road, the cop told them that they were speeding, he gave them a ticket and told them that next time he pulls them over that they will go to jail!. Well they are driving along, listening to the radio, they stopped by and paid the ticket off, and forgot about the cop when they hear blue lights, so they go over the hill, pull over to the side of the road, and jump out!. The brunette jumps in a tree, the red head jumps in a bush, and the blonde jumps in a potatoe sack!. The cop see's there car and pulls over!. He kicks the tree, 'meow', he kicks the bush, 'woof-woof', he kicks the potatoe sack, 'Po-Ta-Toe!.'
Last one,
The cabin boy come down and knocks on the captains door, the captain goes, 'What is Lad!?' The cabin boy goes, 'Sir, we are surrounded by an enemy ship, what would you like me to do!.' The captain goes, 'Go and get me my red shirt!.' The cabin boy goes, 'Sir,why red!?' The captain goes, 'So if i get wounded by the enemy ship ye wont see me bleedin'!.' They sucessfully won that battle!. The next night the cabin boy goes, 'Sir, we are surrounded by 100 enemy ships, what would you like me to do!.' The captain goes, 'Go and get me my brown pants!.'Www@Enter-QA@Com
Jack was about to marry Jill and his father took him to one side 'When
I married your mother, the first thing I did when we got home was
take off my trousers,' he said!. 'I gave them to your mother and told
her to put them on!. When she did, they were enormous on her and she
said to me that she couldn't possibly wear them, as they were too
large!. 'I told her, 'of course they're too big!. I wear the trousers in
this family and I always will!.' Ever since that day, we have never had
a single problem!.'
Jack took his father's advice and as soon as he got
Jill alone after the wedding, he did the same thing; took off his
trousers, gave them to Jill and told her to put them on!. Jill said
that the trousers were too big and she couldn't possibly wear them!.
'Exactly,' replied Jack!. 'I wear the trousers in this relationship and
I always will!. I don't want you to forget that!.' Jill paused and
removed her knickers and gave them to Jack!. 'Try these on,' she said,
so he tried them on but they were too small!. 'I can't possibly get
into your knickers,' said Jack!. 'Exactly,' replied Jill!. 'And if you
don't change your f *** ing attitude, you never will!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
I married your mother, the first thing I did when we got home was
take off my trousers,' he said!. 'I gave them to your mother and told
her to put them on!. When she did, they were enormous on her and she
said to me that she couldn't possibly wear them, as they were too
large!. 'I told her, 'of course they're too big!. I wear the trousers in
this family and I always will!.' Ever since that day, we have never had
a single problem!.'
Jack took his father's advice and as soon as he got
Jill alone after the wedding, he did the same thing; took off his
trousers, gave them to Jill and told her to put them on!. Jill said
that the trousers were too big and she couldn't possibly wear them!.
'Exactly,' replied Jack!. 'I wear the trousers in this relationship and
I always will!. I don't want you to forget that!.' Jill paused and
removed her knickers and gave them to Jack!. 'Try these on,' she said,
so he tried them on but they were too small!. 'I can't possibly get
into your knickers,' said Jack!. 'Exactly,' replied Jill!. 'And if you
don't change your f *** ing attitude, you never will!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
short joke:
What's a cat's favorite CD!? Meow mix
blond joke:
There were three friends; a redhead, a brunette, and a blonde!. They went mountain climbing sharing the same rope!. Halfway to the top the rope began to rip!. One of them had to let go or else the rope would break and they would all die!. "I'll go!.!.!." Said the redhead reluctantly!. "No, that's okay, i lived a good life!. I'll go" Said the Brunette!. And with that, the Blonde clapped!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
What's a cat's favorite CD!? Meow mix
blond joke:
There were three friends; a redhead, a brunette, and a blonde!. They went mountain climbing sharing the same rope!. Halfway to the top the rope began to rip!. One of them had to let go or else the rope would break and they would all die!. "I'll go!.!.!." Said the redhead reluctantly!. "No, that's okay, i lived a good life!. I'll go" Said the Brunette!. And with that, the Blonde clapped!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
A blond a brunette and a red head rob a bank!.They need to hide so they hop a fence to a farm!.The brunette hides with the cows and says "moo moo"!.The red head hides with the pigs and says "oink oink"!.The blond cant find a place to hide so she hides with the potatoes!.The cops come around looking for them and the blond yells out "potato potato"! The cops arrest her and the others get away!. The end!Www@Enter-QA@Com
1!. mom: whats the idea of coming home two hours late!.
son: (in bandages) but mom, I was run over
mom:it doesn't take two hours to get run over!. :)
2!. how do you do
how do i do what!?
i mean, how do you find yourself!?
dont be silly!. i never lose myself!.
Www@Enter-QA@Com
son: (in bandages) but mom, I was run over
mom:it doesn't take two hours to get run over!. :)
2!. how do you do
how do i do what!?
i mean, how do you find yourself!?
dont be silly!. i never lose myself!.
Www@Enter-QA@Com
1)!.There are three moles, a papa mole, a mama mole, and the kid mole!. The papa mole stuck his head out of the hole and said mmm honey, the mama mole stuck her head out of the hole and said mmm syrup, and the kid mole stuck his head out of the hole and said ew molasses!!!
2)!.There was the teacher, a girl, and lil johnny at sunday school!. the girl always slept in class and one day the teacher asked her a question: Who created the universe!? Well she was asleep so lil johnny (who was sitting behind her) poked her in the back with a pencil!. GOD ALMIGHTY! the girl yelled, Very good, the teacher said!. a few minutes later the teacher asked her another question, who is our god almighty!? well she was asleep so lil johnny poked her in the back with his pencil again, JESUS CHRIST! she yelled then fell back asleep!. Very good, the teacher said!. then the last question she asked was: What did eve say to adam after she had her 23rd baby!? well she was asleep again so lil johnny poked her in the back AGAIN and she screamed IF YOU STICK THAT THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF! then the teacher fainted
3)!.A little girl came home from school and said mommy mommy! i have 5 dollars! Well how did you get 5 dollars!? her mom asked!. Lil johnny paid me to do cartwheels while he watched in the tree!. Now you know that he just wanted to see your panties!. Ohhhhhh ok, the lil girl said!. The next day she came home from school and said mommy mommy i have 10 dollars! How did you get 10 dollars!? lil johnny paid me to do cartwheels while he watched in the tree, the lil girl said!. Now you know he just wanted to se- I know i know i didnt wear panties today :^) hope you enjoyedWww@Enter-QA@Com
2)!.There was the teacher, a girl, and lil johnny at sunday school!. the girl always slept in class and one day the teacher asked her a question: Who created the universe!? Well she was asleep so lil johnny (who was sitting behind her) poked her in the back with a pencil!. GOD ALMIGHTY! the girl yelled, Very good, the teacher said!. a few minutes later the teacher asked her another question, who is our god almighty!? well she was asleep so lil johnny poked her in the back with his pencil again, JESUS CHRIST! she yelled then fell back asleep!. Very good, the teacher said!. then the last question she asked was: What did eve say to adam after she had her 23rd baby!? well she was asleep again so lil johnny poked her in the back AGAIN and she screamed IF YOU STICK THAT THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF! then the teacher fainted
3)!.A little girl came home from school and said mommy mommy! i have 5 dollars! Well how did you get 5 dollars!? her mom asked!. Lil johnny paid me to do cartwheels while he watched in the tree!. Now you know that he just wanted to see your panties!. Ohhhhhh ok, the lil girl said!. The next day she came home from school and said mommy mommy i have 10 dollars! How did you get 10 dollars!? lil johnny paid me to do cartwheels while he watched in the tree, the lil girl said!. Now you know he just wanted to se- I know i know i didnt wear panties today :^) hope you enjoyedWww@Enter-QA@Com
if a blonde and a brunette were to jump from a cliff, who would land first!?
brunette, cause blonde would have to stop and ask for directionWww@Enter-QA@Com
brunette, cause blonde would have to stop and ask for directionWww@Enter-QA@Com
WHAT DID THE EGG SAY TO THE BOILING WATER!.
'hope you don't expect me to get hard right away,, i just got laid this morning !Www@Enter-QA@Com
'hope you don't expect me to get hard right away,, i just got laid this morning !Www@Enter-QA@Com
so a hamburger walks into a bar, and asks the bartender for a beer!. the bartender tells him that they dont serve food thereWww@Enter-QA@Com
Why is a math book so unhappy!?
Because it has a lot of problems!
LOL!!! Www@Enter-QA@Com
Because it has a lot of problems!
LOL!!! Www@Enter-QA@Com
What is the difference between snow men and snow women!.!.!.!.
Snow ballsWww@Enter-QA@Com
Snow ballsWww@Enter-QA@Com
what do you call a flying skunk!?
a smelicopter!Www@Enter-QA@Com
a smelicopter!Www@Enter-QA@Com
whatdo you call 6 white guys on a bench
the nbaWww@Enter-QA@Com
the nbaWww@Enter-QA@Com
What's the difference between Zakk and Gabey!?
Gabey is better!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Gabey is better!.Www@Enter-QA@Com