Joke : Funny answering machine messages part 2 - Is this worthy of a star ?!


Question: Joke : Funny answering machine messages part 2 - Is this worthy of a star !?
We're sorry!. You have reached an imaginary number!. Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again!.

# You're growing tired!. Your eyelids are getting heavy!. You feel very sleepy now!. You are gradually losing your willpower and your ability to resist suggestions!. When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly compelled to leave your name, number, and a message!.

# As the drugs take hold, you feel you are losing your grip on reality!. You begin to hallucinate!. You see a telephone!.!.!. The telephone is next to an answering machine!.!.!. You hear a faint click and a light flashes on the answering machine!.!.!. You hear a beep!.!.!.

# I don't exist at the moment, but if you leave your message, name and number, I'll call you back when I am!.!.!.

# I'm only here in spirit at the moment, but if you'll leave your name and number, I will get back to you as soon as I'm here in person!.

# I don't want to bore you with metaphysics, but how do you know this is an answering machine!? Maybe it's a dream, or maybe it's an illusion, or maybe YOU don't really exist!. One way to find out is to leave a message, and if it's reality, I will call you back!.

# I'm not at home today, and I might not be home tomorrow!. So please leave a message after the tone!. I didn't take a shower today, and I might not take one tomorrow!. So if you don't leave a message after the tone, you might have to deal with me in person!.

# (Noisy pick-up of phone!.) Hi, I'm a burglar and I was just about to steal Troy's answering machine!. If you give me your name and number I'll!.!.!. Uh, I'll post it on the fridge where he'll see it!. Uh!.!.!. By the way, where did you say you live!?

# If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone!. Otherwise, we probably aren't at home and it's safe to leave us a message!.

# I'm writing the definitive work on pain!. I would like you to tell me how this machine makes you feel!. Remember, be honest!. This is for posterity!.

# (Loud heavy-metal music in background; raspy voice:) Hello, this is the executioner!. Joe can't come to the phone right now because he's DEAD! Leave a name and number and IF we decide to resurrect him, he'll call you back!.

# Tim's dead! And God only knows where Lisa is! Fortunately resurrections and divine revelations do tend to occur from time to time, so leave a message and we'll let you know when the next miracle occurs!.

# (Drunken voice:) You have reached Bob's hotline!. We are not able to respond due to uninevitable circumcisions!. But if you leave your name and noomber, we won't be in wonder!.!.!. pa-a-a-a!

# Hello, this is Marlin's answering machine reminding you that yesterday was the last day of the previous period of your life!. After the beep you can tell me how it was, or leave some other, informative message!. Thanks!.

# I can't come to the phone now, so!.!.!. Hey -- that's a nice phone you have there!. Hey sugar, you call this number often!? I bet you have answering machines bothering you all the time!.!.!. Yes indeedy!. Why don't you give me a call sometime and we can listen to some old recordings!.!.!. I might even play my beep for you!.

# Bridge, Kirk here!.

# Starship Enterprise, Uhura here, can you hold please!? -- Captain, there is a transmission coming in on hailing frequency seven, do you want it on screen!?

# (Star Trek theme in the background:) (Voice 1:) Room 17, the final frontier!. (Voice 2:) These are the messages of Chad's answering machine!. Its two semester mission: To seek out your name and your telephone number!. (Voice 3:) To boldly inform you to wait for the tone!.

# Hello, you've reached 344-1312, the Apartment at the End of the Universe!. Please leave your message, name and number at the sound of the tone!. Keep your hands, feet, extremities and obscenities inside the car at all times!. Enjoy your ride!.

# (Darth Vader voice:) Speak, worm!

# Alpha Centauri Space Station!. Commander Marlin can't come to the phone right now!. He's either saving the universe from some dread, unnamed peril, or perhaps taking a nappie!. Leave your name and number after the beep and he will return your call!.

# A bubble in the space-time continuum has connected your line to a channeler in the 23rd century!. Any message you leave will be broadcast into the future!.

# You have reached the offices of the planet Zarton!. All our agents are busy undermining the governments of the Earth and cannot come to phone at the moment!. However, your name and number can be left at the tone and a representative will gladly contact you shortly to arrange for your assimilation into the new order!. Long groblint the ultimate blenstron!.

# Steve has been captured by a flying saucer and can't come to the phone right now, but if you leave your name, phone number, and a message, I'll have him call you back as soon as he gets away!. Read all about it in next week's National Enquirer!.

# Hello, this is Jim!. Unfortunately I can't answer the phone right now becaWww@Enter-QA@Com


Answers:
lol these are hilarious!.!. i liked part one too i just couldnt be bothered answering it but i starred both of themWww@Enter-QA@Com

What about George Costanza's Answering Machine you know from signfeld!.
http://www!.youtube!.com/watch!?v=1UH59CrRZ!.!.!.
Www@Enter-QA@Com

the short ones are best, especially three and four!. Theyre really good and deserve star!. But stay away from the long and slightly lame ones!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

Holy !.!.!.!. There's a Part 1!?
Actually some were pretty funny!. Good imagination!.

OK, I gave you a star!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

UMMM I DO NOT FEEL LIKE READING THAT BECAUSE I AM A BONDEWww@Enter-QA@Com



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