Joke : Funny answering machine messages part 1 - Is this worthy of a star ?!


Question: Joke : Funny answering machine messages part 1 - Is this worthy of a star !?
Hi! John's answering machine is broken!. This is his refrigerator!. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets!.

# Hello, this is Ron's toaster!. Ron's new answering machine is in the shop for repairs, so please leave your message when the toast is done!.!.!. (Cachunk!)

# Hello, this is Sally's microwave!. Her answering machine just eloped with her tape deck, so I'm stuck taking her calls!. Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone!.

# Hi, I'm not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead!. Wait for the beep!.

# You know what I hate about answering machine messages!? They go on and on, wasting your time!. I mean, all they really need to say is, "We aren't in, leave a message!." That's why I've decided to keep mine simple and short!. I pledge to you, my caller, that you will never have to suffer through another long answering machine message when you call me!.

# (Drawling granny voice:) Way back inna winner of fifty-two, we didn' have fanshy gadjets like no ansherin' machine!. You jusht had to call and call until shummbody got home!. Now, shum people, dey shay dey don' like 'em, but I shay it'll shave you a lotta trouble if you jusht leave a meshage!. Thanksh a lot!.

# You have reached 934-2435!. We picked this machine up at a garage sale in "as-is" condition!. You can try to leave a message on it, but we are not sure it will be recorded!. If we don't return your call, it means the machine did not work!.

# Hello!. I'm David's answering machine!. What are you!?

# Hi, this is John's answering machine!. He's not here, but I'm open to suggestions!.

# Hello!. You are talking to a machine!. I am capable of receiving messages!. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean!. They give to charity through the office and don't need their picture taken!. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you!.

# Thank you for calling 434-2322!. If you wish to speak to Tim, push 1 on your touch tone phone now!. If you wish to speak to Lynn, push 2 on your touch tone phone now!. If you have a wrong number, push 3 on your touch tone phone now!. All of this button pushing doesn't do anything, but it is a good way to work off anger, and it makes us feel like we have a big time phone system!.

# (Very fast:) Hi, this is 904-4344!. If you want to leave a message, please wait for the tone!. If you want to leave your name and number, please press pound, press 3, then dial your name, then press 6 and dial your number!. If you want to leave your name and just a message, press star, press 6, ask for extension 4443, then leave your name and message!. If you want to leave your number and the time you called, please press star twice, spin in a circle, press 1 twice, talk loud and BEEP

# "You have called 655-9229!. If you are my mom, I will write you as soon as I can, I promise!. If you are my son, sorry, I am broke too!. If you are a friend, leave a message after the tone!. If you are a salesman!.!.!.FORGET IT!."

# This is not an answering machine -- this is a telepathic thought-recording device!. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call!.

# (In a bored voice:) Heaven, God speaking!.!.!.

# Hello, epicenter of the Universe, God speaking!. If you leave your name, number, and prayer after the tone, I will call you back as soon as I can!. Please note that I answer all prayers, but sometimes the answer is NO!. Bless you, my child, and have a nice day!.

# Hello, this is Death!. I am not in right now, but if you leave your name and number, I'll be right with you!.

# Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency!. We know how you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone, please hang up!.

# Hello!. I'm home right now but cannot find the phone!. Please leave a message and I will call you up as soon as I find it!.

# I can't come to the phone now because I have amnesia and I feel stupid talking to people I don't remember!. I'd appreciate it if you could help me out by leaving my name and telling me something about myself!. Thanks!.

# I can't come to the phone right now because I'm down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of twenty dollar bills!. If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handiwork, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone!. If you're from the Department of the Treasury, please ignore this message!.

# Hi!. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like!. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you!.

# Hi there!. This is Joe speaking!. I'm home right now, and in a moment, I'll have a decision to make!. Leave your name and number and I'll be thinking about it!.!.!.

# Bob here!. I'm home right now, I'm just screening my calls!. So start talking and if you're sWww@Enter-QA@Com


Answers:
Yea hello!.!.!.oh hold on!.!.!.!.!.!."beep"Www@Enter-QA@Com

thats just sh*te and you have too much spare timeWww@Enter-QA@Com

no!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

!.!.!.!?Www@Enter-QA@Com

Telephone answering machine jokes are passe!. A few of these were humorous but I stop listening after three seconds!. Please don't waste my cell phone time with this stuff!.Www@Enter-QA@Com



The answer content post by the user, if contains the copyright content please contact us, we will immediately remove it.
Copyright © 2007 enter-qa.com -   Contact us

Entertainment Categories