How about now? more jokes for the desperate me.?!


Question: How about now!? more jokes for the desperate me!.!?
Answers:
I wouldn't call you desperate!. But if you need some, take a look at my page!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

Redneck's 10 Children

An Arkansas woman is in the welfare office filling out forms!. The welfare officer asks her how many children she has!? "Ten boys!." "And their names!?" "Leroy, Leroy, Leroy, Leroy, Leroy, Leroy, Leroy, Leroy, Leroy, and Leroy!." "All named Leroy!? Why would you name them all Leroy!?" "That way, when I wants them all to come in from the yard, I just yells 'LEROY!', and when I wants them all to come to dinner, I just yells 'LEROY!'" "What if you just want a particular one of them to do something!?" "Then I calls him by his last name!."Www@Enter-QA@Com

Here's a reallllllly sad one!.
What did the brown chicken say to the brown cow!?
Brown-Chicken-Brown-Cow
(Pronounce like Bow-Chicka-Wa-Waa)Www@Enter-QA@Com

sometimes i think," why is that frisbee getting bigger" !?
then it hits me!.
Www@Enter-QA@Com

Q-What does Sarah Palin say to dog owners!?
A- Ya petchaWww@Enter-QA@Com

All the republicans, they make me laughWww@Enter-QA@Com

o!.k!., look in the mirrorWww@Enter-QA@Com

23 Fun Things To Do In An Elevator!.!.!. 1!. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dang it, all of you just shut UP!"
2!. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly!.
3!. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there!?"
4!. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator!. Wear yours upside-down!.
5!. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off!.
6!. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves!.
7!. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral!.
8!. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom!.
9!. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
10!. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, no, not now, stupid motion sickness!"
11!. Meow occasionally!.
12!. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends!.
13!. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side!.
14!. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator!.
15!. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it!.
16!. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper!?"
17!. Say "Ding!" at each floor!.
18!. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons!.
19!. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope!.
20!. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space!."
21!. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body!."
22!. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button!.
23!. Stop at every floor, run off the elevator, then run back on!.





People Really Said These Things In Court Q: What is your date of birth!?
A: July fifteenth!.
Q: What year!?
A: Every year!.

Q: This myasthenia gravis - does it affect your memory at all!?
A: Yes!.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory!?
A: I forget!.
Q: You forget!. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten!?

Q: All your responses must be oral, okay!? What school did you go to!?
A: Oral!.

Q: How old is your son - the one living with you!.
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which!.
Q: How long has he lived with you!?
A: Forty-five years!.

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning!?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy!?"
Q: And why did that upset you!?
A: My name is Susan!.

Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in the voodoo occult!?
A: We both do!.
Q: Voodoo!?
A: We do!.
Q: You do!?
A: Yes, voodoo!.

Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning!?

Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he!?

Q: Were you present when your picture was taken!?
Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war!?
Q: Did he kill you!?
Q: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision!?
Q: You were there until the time you left, is that true!?
Q: How many times have you committed suicide!?


Q: She had three children, right!?
A: Yes!.
Q: How many were boys!?
A: None!.
Q: Were there any girls!?

Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement!?
A: Yes!.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also!?
Q: Mr!. Slattery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you!?
A: I went to Europe, sir!.
Q: And you took your new wife!?

Q: How was your first marriage terminated!?
A: By death!.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated!?

Q: Can you describe the individual!?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard!.
Q: Was this a male, or a female!?

Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney!?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work!.

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people!?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people!.
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body!?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p!.m!.
Q: And Mr!. Dennington was dead at the time!?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy!.


The Blonde & The Coke Machine It was a really hot day and this blonde decided she would go buy a coke!. She went to the coke machine and when she put her money in, a coke came out - so she kept putting money in!.
And since it was such a hot day, a line had formed behind her!. Finally, a guy on line said, "Will you hurry up!? We're all hot and thirsty!"
And the blonde said, "No way!. I'm still winning!"

Blonde in a Car A blonde walked into a gas station and said to the manager, ''I locked my keys in my car!. Do you have a coat hanger or something I can stick through the wiWww@Enter-QA@Com



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