What about these three to continue the laughter did they ?!


Question: What about these three to continue the laughter did they !?
Texan Poetry

The finals of the National Poetry Contest last year came down to two finalists!. One was a San Francisco State University graduate from an upper-crust family; well-bred, well-connected and all that goes with it!. The other finalist was a redneck from Texas A & M!. Go figure!.

The rules of the contest required each finalist to compose a four-line poem in one minute or less, and the poem had to contain the word “Timbuktu!.”

The San Francisco State graduate went first!. About thirty seconds after the clock started he jumped up and recited the following poem:

“'Slowly across the desert sand

Trekked the dusty caravan!.

Men on camels, two by two

Destination -- Timbuktu!.”

The audience went wild! How, they wondered if the redneck could top that!?! The clock started again and the redneck sat in silent thought!. Finally, in the last few seconds, he jumped and recited:

“Tim and me, a-huntin' went!.

Met three whores in a pop-up tent!.


They was three, we was two,

So I bucked one and Timbuktu”



A Freshmans Guide to Bra Removal

OBJECTIVE

To disengage said bra without looking like an idiot!.

WHAT YOU NEED

1) Girl with bra

2) Two functional hands

3) Common Sense

TECHNIQUES

1) THE HOUDINI HUG -- Using sleight-of-hand, place arms around girl and unhook bra!. Try to refrain from saying, "Ta-da!"

2) MCGYVER'S OFF-THE-SHOULDER SLIDE -- An alternative method to use after ten minutes of unsuccessful hugging!.

3) HILTON'S LAST RESORT -- Beg like a dog and learn to absorb the harsh sound of wicked laughter!.


DO NOT USE: scissors, blowtorch, pliers, wire strippers, cutlery, Black Magic, staple remover, chainsaw, brute strength, CB4, set of lock picks, or chisel and hammer!.

WARNING: When removing a bra you should not say the following:

1) "I really want to thank you for this!."

2) "Dammit! I thought they were bigger!."

3) "Do you have any cereal!?"



Signs You Have a Hangover

You're convinced that chirping birds are Satan's pets!.

Trying to gain control of the situation, you continue to tell your room to "stay still!."

Looking at yourself in the mirror induces the same reaction as chugging a glass of fresh paint!.

You'd rather have a pencil jammed up your nose than be exposed to sunlight!.

You set aside an entire morning to spend some quality time with your toilet!.

You replace the traditional praying on your knees with the more feasible praying in a fetal position!.

The bathroom reminds you of a carnival barker shouting, "Step right up and give it whirl!"

All day long your motto is, "Never again!."

You could purchase a new bike just by recycling the bottles around your bed!.

Your natural response to "Good morning," is "Shut up!"





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Answers:
Wonderful and absolutely brilliant!. I loved them!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

All funny!.
Loved the first one!.
Rednecks!. Always giving Texas a bad name!. lolWww@Enter-QA@Com

Good ones!
Thanks for the laughter that ended this day!
Good night !Www@Enter-QA@Com

All I can say is hilarious!Www@Enter-QA@Com

Good onesWww@Enter-QA@Com

=tWww@Enter-QA@Com

Ha ha ha!.!!!
These are Excellent Chris!.!!!
10/10 for a laugh!.!!!
Cheers!.!!Www@Enter-QA@Com

thanx 4 making me giggle
Www@Enter-QA@Com

I like the second one lol!. Very funny!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

i like the first one

=D
Www@Enter-QA@Com

I liked the first one!. :D Www@Enter-QA@Com

Ha-ha good ones!.!.!.!.last one is all to true :-)Www@Enter-QA@Com

good oneWww@Enter-QA@Com

lol liked the1!. and last one the most buuuutttt
a star for u :)) ty for all the gigglesWww@Enter-QA@Com



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