Girls and boys,,credit crunch is biting!?!
Question: Girls and boys,,credit crunch is biting!!?
Retire Aged Personnal Early!. "rape"!?
As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for the Department areas, we are forced to cut our number of personnel!.
Under the new plan, older employees will be asked to accept early retirement, thus permitting the retention of younger people who represent our future plans!.
Therefore, a programme to phase out older personnel by the end of the current fiscal year, via retirement, will be placed in effect immediately!. The programme will be known as R!.A!.P!.E!. (Retire Aged Personnel Early)!.
Employees who are R!.A!.P!.E!.D!. will be given the opportunity to look for other employment outside the company!. Provided they are being R!.A!.P!.E!.D!., they can request a review of the employment records before actual retirement takes place!. This phase of the operation will be called S!.C!.R!.E!.W!. (Survey of Capabilities of retired Early Workers)!.
All employees who have been R!.A!.P!.E!.D!. or S!.C!.R!.E!.W!.E!.D!. may file an appeal with upper management!. This will be called S!.H!.A!.F!.T!. (Study by Higher Authority Following Termination)!. Under the terms of the new policies, employees may be R!.A!.P!.E!.D!. once, S!.C!.R!.E!.W!.E!.D!. twice, but may be S!.H!.A!.F!.T!.E!.D!. as many times as the company deems appropriate!.
If any employee follows the above procedure, he or she will be entitled to get H!.E!.R!.P!.E!.S!. (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel's Early Severance)!. As H!.E!.R!.P!.E!.S!. is considered a benefit plan!. any employee who has received H!.E!.R!.P!.E!.S!. will no longer be R!.A!.P!.E!.D!. or S!.C!.R!.E!.W!.E!.D!. by the company!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for the Department areas, we are forced to cut our number of personnel!.
Under the new plan, older employees will be asked to accept early retirement, thus permitting the retention of younger people who represent our future plans!.
Therefore, a programme to phase out older personnel by the end of the current fiscal year, via retirement, will be placed in effect immediately!. The programme will be known as R!.A!.P!.E!. (Retire Aged Personnel Early)!.
Employees who are R!.A!.P!.E!.D!. will be given the opportunity to look for other employment outside the company!. Provided they are being R!.A!.P!.E!.D!., they can request a review of the employment records before actual retirement takes place!. This phase of the operation will be called S!.C!.R!.E!.W!. (Survey of Capabilities of retired Early Workers)!.
All employees who have been R!.A!.P!.E!.D!. or S!.C!.R!.E!.W!.E!.D!. may file an appeal with upper management!. This will be called S!.H!.A!.F!.T!. (Study by Higher Authority Following Termination)!. Under the terms of the new policies, employees may be R!.A!.P!.E!.D!. once, S!.C!.R!.E!.W!.E!.D!. twice, but may be S!.H!.A!.F!.T!.E!.D!. as many times as the company deems appropriate!.
If any employee follows the above procedure, he or she will be entitled to get H!.E!.R!.P!.E!.S!. (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel's Early Severance)!. As H!.E!.R!.P!.E!.S!. is considered a benefit plan!. any employee who has received H!.E!.R!.P!.E!.S!. will no longer be R!.A!.P!.E!.D!. or S!.C!.R!.E!.W!.E!.D!. by the company!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
Thank you for something new and refreshing!. Can't wait till I'm old enough to be R!.A!.P!.E!.D!.!.!.!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
very good indeed,its biting alright!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
!Www@Enter-QA@Com
no "aids" then!? ha ha!Www@Enter-QA@Com
i might be thick,but thats clever!!Www@Enter-QA@Com
nice oneWww@Enter-QA@Com
that is too clever, for half the people on jokes!!Www@Enter-QA@Com
read it twice!.sheer class!! star awarded*Www@Enter-QA@Com
Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!.!.!.lol!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.
A man with a bald head and a wooden leg has been invited to a fancy dress party!. He doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain his problem!. A few days later he receives a parcel with a note!.
"Dear Sir, please find enclosed a pirate's outfit!. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head with your wooden leg you will be just right as a pirate!."
The man thinks this is a terrible idea because they have just emphasised his wooden leg, so he writes a really rude letter of complaint!. A week passes and he receives another parcel with a note!.
"Dear Sir, sorry about our previous suggestion!. Please find enclosed a monk's habit!. The long robe will cover your wooden leg, and with your bald head you will really look the part!."
Now the man is really annoyed since they have gone from emphasising his wooden leg to his bald head, so he writes an extremely rude letter of complaint!. The next day he receives a small parcel with a note inside!.
"Dear Sir, please find enclosed a tin of golden syrup!. Pour the tin of golden syrup over your bald head, stick your wooden leg up your as* and go as a toffee appleWww@Enter-QA@Com
A man with a bald head and a wooden leg has been invited to a fancy dress party!. He doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain his problem!. A few days later he receives a parcel with a note!.
"Dear Sir, please find enclosed a pirate's outfit!. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head with your wooden leg you will be just right as a pirate!."
The man thinks this is a terrible idea because they have just emphasised his wooden leg, so he writes a really rude letter of complaint!. A week passes and he receives another parcel with a note!.
"Dear Sir, sorry about our previous suggestion!. Please find enclosed a monk's habit!. The long robe will cover your wooden leg, and with your bald head you will really look the part!."
Now the man is really annoyed since they have gone from emphasising his wooden leg to his bald head, so he writes an extremely rude letter of complaint!. The next day he receives a small parcel with a note inside!.
"Dear Sir, please find enclosed a tin of golden syrup!. Pour the tin of golden syrup over your bald head, stick your wooden leg up your as* and go as a toffee appleWww@Enter-QA@Com