Anybody got any funnny jokes?!
Question: Anybody got any funnny jokes!?
Best joke gets best answer!. If you have any funny names (like Bill Loney) those do count as jokes as well!. Share your best jokes and get 10 points!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are excessively mischievous!. They are always getting into trouble and their parents know all about it!. If any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved!.
The boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys!. The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually!. So the mother sent the 8 year old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon!. The preacher, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly,
"Do you know where God is, son!?"
The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open!. So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God!?!"
Again, the boy made no attempt to answer!. The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed,
"Where is God!?!"
The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him!. When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "what happened!?" The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time!.
guess what!.!.!.!.
GOD is missing, and they think we did it!Www@Enter-QA@Com
The boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys!. The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually!. So the mother sent the 8 year old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon!. The preacher, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly,
"Do you know where God is, son!?"
The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open!. So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God!?!"
Again, the boy made no attempt to answer!. The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed,
"Where is God!?!"
The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him!. When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "what happened!?" The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time!.
guess what!.!.!.!.
GOD is missing, and they think we did it!Www@Enter-QA@Com
this is a really funny one!!
Two men at a bar had been enjoying a few drinks for the past couple of hours
and were pretty drunk when one of them notices a beautiful woman sitting in the corner!.
One says to the other, "Jeez, I'd really like to dance with that girl!."
The other man replies,
"Well go ahead and ask her, don't be a chicken!."
So the man approaches the lovely woman and says,
"Excuse me!. Would you be so kind as to dance with me!?"
Seeing the man is totally drunk the woman says,
"I'm sorry!. Right now I'm concentrating on matrimony and I'd rather sit than dance!."
So the man humbly
returns to his friend!.
"So what did she say!?" asks the friend!.
The drunk responded,
"She said she's constipated on macaroni and would rather $hit in her pants!."
Www@Enter-QA@Com
Two men at a bar had been enjoying a few drinks for the past couple of hours
and were pretty drunk when one of them notices a beautiful woman sitting in the corner!.
One says to the other, "Jeez, I'd really like to dance with that girl!."
The other man replies,
"Well go ahead and ask her, don't be a chicken!."
So the man approaches the lovely woman and says,
"Excuse me!. Would you be so kind as to dance with me!?"
Seeing the man is totally drunk the woman says,
"I'm sorry!. Right now I'm concentrating on matrimony and I'd rather sit than dance!."
So the man humbly
returns to his friend!.
"So what did she say!?" asks the friend!.
The drunk responded,
"She said she's constipated on macaroni and would rather $hit in her pants!."
Www@Enter-QA@Com
There was a foreignor who went to america he saw 3 commercials and only knew how to say mememememe forks and knives and plug it in so he went to a wedding the bride died the maid said WHO DID THIS the foreignor said mememememe he said how!? the foreignor say forks and knives then he went into an electric chair the guy said any last words te foreighnor said PLUG IT IN theres many jokes like thatWww@Enter-QA@Com
a college student wrote to his father a note that said:
No Money!.
Not funny!.
Love Sonny!.
His father wrote back:
So sad!.
Too bad!.
Love Dad!.
Man to Boy Fishing: How many fish have you caught!?
Boy:Well, if i cathch this one and 2 more, i will have 3!.
Jack: I was once a 90 pound weakling!. When i went to the beach, some 200 pound bully kicked sand in my face!.That was the end!.I excercised and ate properly and in some time i weighed 250 pounds!.
Zack: Then what happened!?
Zack: I went to the beach and a 350 pound bully kicked sand in my face!.
Man1: Eddie Jones!.I havent seen you in years!. you have really changed!. You used to be tall and now you are short!. You used to be fat and now your are skinny!. And your hair is all different!.
Man2: Listen mister, my name is not eddie jones!. Its paul Smith!.
Man1: Oh!!!! you have changed your name too!!!!
hope this made you laugh!!!!
Www@Enter-QA@Com
No Money!.
Not funny!.
Love Sonny!.
His father wrote back:
So sad!.
Too bad!.
Love Dad!.
Man to Boy Fishing: How many fish have you caught!?
Boy:Well, if i cathch this one and 2 more, i will have 3!.
Jack: I was once a 90 pound weakling!. When i went to the beach, some 200 pound bully kicked sand in my face!.That was the end!.I excercised and ate properly and in some time i weighed 250 pounds!.
Zack: Then what happened!?
Zack: I went to the beach and a 350 pound bully kicked sand in my face!.
Man1: Eddie Jones!.I havent seen you in years!. you have really changed!. You used to be tall and now you are short!. You used to be fat and now your are skinny!. And your hair is all different!.
Man2: Listen mister, my name is not eddie jones!. Its paul Smith!.
Man1: Oh!!!! you have changed your name too!!!!
hope this made you laugh!!!!
Www@Enter-QA@Com
Italian Girl!.!.!.!.
For several years, an American man was having an affair with an Italian woman!.
One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant!. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, He paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child!.
If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18!. She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born!. To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write 'Spaghetti' on the back!. He would then arrange for the child support payments to begin!.
One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife!.
'Honey,' she said, 'you received a very strange post card today!.' 'Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later,' he said!. The wife obeyed and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted!.
On the card was written:
'Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti!.
Three with meatballs, two without!.
'Send extra sauceWww@Enter-QA@Com
For several years, an American man was having an affair with an Italian woman!.
One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant!. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, He paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child!.
If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18!. She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born!. To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write 'Spaghetti' on the back!. He would then arrange for the child support payments to begin!.
One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife!.
'Honey,' she said, 'you received a very strange post card today!.' 'Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later,' he said!. The wife obeyed and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted!.
On the card was written:
'Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti!.
Three with meatballs, two without!.
'Send extra sauceWww@Enter-QA@Com