Good jokes, riddles anything to make someone laugh?!
Question: Good jokes, riddles anything to make someone laugh!?
Do you know any really good jokes any type dumb blonde,anything! try to make them like story jokes instead of just like the chicken crossed the road lollol you can include those too if ya want too!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
here's a few
Three women who work in the same office notice that their female boss has
started leaving work early every day!. One day they decide that after she leaves,
they'll take off early, too!. After all, she never calls or comes back, so how is
she to know!?
The brunette is thrilled to get home early!. She does a
Little gardening, watches a movie and then goes to bed
early!.
The redhead is elevated to be able to get in a quick workout at her health
club before meeting a dinner dates!.
The blonde is also very happy to be home early, but as she goes upstairs she
hears noises coming from her bedroom!. She quietly opens the door a crack and is
mortified to see her husband in bed with HER BOSS! Ever so gently, she closes
the door and creeps out of her house!.
The next day, the brunette and the redhead talk about
leaving early again, but when they ask the blonde if she wants to leave early
also, she exclaims, "NO WAY! Yesterday I almost got caught!"
This butcher lived in an apartment over his shop!. One night he was awakened by
strange noises coming from below, so he tiptoed downstairs and saw his
19-year-old daughter sitting on the chopping block and masturbating with a
liverwurst!. The butcher sighed and tiptoed back to bed!.
The next morning, when a customer walked in and asked for some liverwurst, the
butcher said that he didn't have any left!. The customer was really annoyed; she
pointed to the corner of the shop and asked, "No liverwurst!? Well, what's that
hanging on the hook right over there!?"
The butcher frowned at her!. "That", he replied, "is my son-in-law!."
A 60-year-old woman came home one day and heard strange noises in her bedroom!.
She opened the door and discovered her 40-year-old daughter playing with her
vibrator!. "What are you doing!?" asked the Mom!.
"Mom, I am 40 years old and look at me!. I am ugly!. I will never get married,
so this is pretty much my husband!."
The mother walked out of the room, shaking her head!.
The next day the father came home and heard noises in the bedroom and upon
entering the room found his daughter using the vibrator!. "What the hell are you
doing!?" he asked!.
His daughter replied, "I already told Mom!. I am 40 years old now and ugly!. I
will never get married so this is as close as I'll ever get to a husband!."
The father walked out of the room shaking his head too!.
The next day the Mother came home to find her husband with a beer in one hand
and the vibrator sitting next to him, watching the football game!.
"For Christ's sake, what are you doing!?" she cried!.
The husband replied, "What does it look like I'm doing!? I'm having a beer and
watching the game with my new son-in-law!"
A sweet little girl runs out to the backyard where her father is working, and
asks him, "Daddy, what's sex!?"
So, her father sits her down, and tells her all about the birds and the bees!.
He tells her about conception, sexual intercourse, sperm and eggs etc!.
He tells her about puberty, menstruation, men and women and love!.!.!.
He thinks what the hell, and tells her the works, thinking that to tell it all
is the only way to tell truth!.
The girl is somewhat awe struck with this sudden influx of bizarre new
knowledge, and her father finally asks, "So why did you wish to know about sex!?"
"Oh, mommy said lunch would be ready in a couple of secs!.!.!."
Www@Enter-QA@Com
Three women who work in the same office notice that their female boss has
started leaving work early every day!. One day they decide that after she leaves,
they'll take off early, too!. After all, she never calls or comes back, so how is
she to know!?
The brunette is thrilled to get home early!. She does a
Little gardening, watches a movie and then goes to bed
early!.
The redhead is elevated to be able to get in a quick workout at her health
club before meeting a dinner dates!.
The blonde is also very happy to be home early, but as she goes upstairs she
hears noises coming from her bedroom!. She quietly opens the door a crack and is
mortified to see her husband in bed with HER BOSS! Ever so gently, she closes
the door and creeps out of her house!.
The next day, the brunette and the redhead talk about
leaving early again, but when they ask the blonde if she wants to leave early
also, she exclaims, "NO WAY! Yesterday I almost got caught!"
This butcher lived in an apartment over his shop!. One night he was awakened by
strange noises coming from below, so he tiptoed downstairs and saw his
19-year-old daughter sitting on the chopping block and masturbating with a
liverwurst!. The butcher sighed and tiptoed back to bed!.
The next morning, when a customer walked in and asked for some liverwurst, the
butcher said that he didn't have any left!. The customer was really annoyed; she
pointed to the corner of the shop and asked, "No liverwurst!? Well, what's that
hanging on the hook right over there!?"
The butcher frowned at her!. "That", he replied, "is my son-in-law!."
A 60-year-old woman came home one day and heard strange noises in her bedroom!.
She opened the door and discovered her 40-year-old daughter playing with her
vibrator!. "What are you doing!?" asked the Mom!.
"Mom, I am 40 years old and look at me!. I am ugly!. I will never get married,
so this is pretty much my husband!."
The mother walked out of the room, shaking her head!.
The next day the father came home and heard noises in the bedroom and upon
entering the room found his daughter using the vibrator!. "What the hell are you
doing!?" he asked!.
His daughter replied, "I already told Mom!. I am 40 years old now and ugly!. I
will never get married so this is as close as I'll ever get to a husband!."
The father walked out of the room shaking his head too!.
The next day the Mother came home to find her husband with a beer in one hand
and the vibrator sitting next to him, watching the football game!.
"For Christ's sake, what are you doing!?" she cried!.
The husband replied, "What does it look like I'm doing!? I'm having a beer and
watching the game with my new son-in-law!"
A sweet little girl runs out to the backyard where her father is working, and
asks him, "Daddy, what's sex!?"
So, her father sits her down, and tells her all about the birds and the bees!.
He tells her about conception, sexual intercourse, sperm and eggs etc!.
He tells her about puberty, menstruation, men and women and love!.!.!.
He thinks what the hell, and tells her the works, thinking that to tell it all
is the only way to tell truth!.
The girl is somewhat awe struck with this sudden influx of bizarre new
knowledge, and her father finally asks, "So why did you wish to know about sex!?"
"Oh, mommy said lunch would be ready in a couple of secs!.!.!."
Www@Enter-QA@Com
so a blonde is out of a job and out of money!. she decides to kidnap a child and get money that way!. she goes to a play ground and grabs a boy and writes a note that says "i have kidnapped your child, give me ten thousand dollars and put in under the tree at the playground tommorrow"!. she pins the note on his shirt and tells him to go home!. the next day she finds ten thousand dollars in a paper bag under the tree that!. there is also a note in the bag that says " how could you do this to a fellow blonde!?!" Www@Enter-QA@Com
ask ur friend:
if i lived on the moon, would come visit me!?
wait a few seconds and then say
but theres a catch, im dead!.
another one is:
a guy runs into a phyciatrists office screaming "im a tee pee im a wigwam" so the psyciatrist says
well theres ur problem, ur two kinds of tents!.
so yeah!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
if i lived on the moon, would come visit me!?
wait a few seconds and then say
but theres a catch, im dead!.
another one is:
a guy runs into a phyciatrists office screaming "im a tee pee im a wigwam" so the psyciatrist says
well theres ur problem, ur two kinds of tents!.
so yeah!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
I have three!
1: The president, a boyscout, a priest, the smartest man in the world and a pilot were all in a plane!. Suddenly, the pilot comes out and says, "We're going down! There's five of us and only four parachutes!. Now, I'm not dying in my own plane !.!.!." and so he takes a parachute and jumps!.
The President says "I'm the president of the United States of America, my country needs me!" and so he takes a parachute and jumps!.
The smartest man in the world says, "I'm the smartest man in the world, the world needs my knowledge!" and so he takes a parachute and jumps, leaving the priest and the boyscout in the plane!.
Well, the priest looks down at the boy and says, "You are young and you have many years ahead of you!. I however, am old and have lived a good life!. So you may take the last parachute!."
The boyscout says, "No !.!.!. there are still two parachutes left!."
The priest asks, "What do you mean!? The smartest man in the world just took the last one!"
The boyscout says, "No !.!.!. He took my backpack!"
---
2: A man is outside trimming some hedges, when he saw one of his neighbors walk outside to her mailbox!. She quickly opened it, slammed it shut and stormed back into the house!.
About ten minutes later, the man was mowing his lawn when he saw her again! She walked to her mailbox, opened it, slammed it shut and stormed back into her house!.
Ten minutes later, he saw her again! She walked to the mailbox, opened it, slammed it shut and let out an angry scream!. The man walked over to her and said, "Ma'am, what ever is the matter!?" and the woman replied, "My stupid computer keeps saying, "You've got mail!" "
---
3: Three men were on a plane when it crashed on a deserted island!. One man had blone hair, one man was bald, and the other had red hair!. Well, the three men ended up finding a native tribe, and the leader told them, "Go into the jungle and bring back ten pieces of one kind of fruit!." so all three men went into the jungle at the same time!.
The bald man came back first with apples!. The leader then said, "Put all of the apples up your butt without making a sound and we won't kill you!." The bald man makes it to two and doubles over, crying in pain, so they kill him!.
The man with read hair came back next with strawberries!. The leader said, "Put all of the strawberries up your butt without making a sound and we won't kill you!." The man with red hair makes it to five, when suddenly he stops and begins to laugh hysterically, and so they kill him!.
In Heaven, the bald man asked the red haired man, "Why in the world did you start laughing!?" and the red haired man said, "I just saw the other guy coming back with pineapples!"
I hope you enjoyed! By the way, that last one can be changed from pineapples, to watermelons, it just depends on which you think is funnier! :)Www@Enter-QA@Com
1: The president, a boyscout, a priest, the smartest man in the world and a pilot were all in a plane!. Suddenly, the pilot comes out and says, "We're going down! There's five of us and only four parachutes!. Now, I'm not dying in my own plane !.!.!." and so he takes a parachute and jumps!.
The President says "I'm the president of the United States of America, my country needs me!" and so he takes a parachute and jumps!.
The smartest man in the world says, "I'm the smartest man in the world, the world needs my knowledge!" and so he takes a parachute and jumps, leaving the priest and the boyscout in the plane!.
Well, the priest looks down at the boy and says, "You are young and you have many years ahead of you!. I however, am old and have lived a good life!. So you may take the last parachute!."
The boyscout says, "No !.!.!. there are still two parachutes left!."
The priest asks, "What do you mean!? The smartest man in the world just took the last one!"
The boyscout says, "No !.!.!. He took my backpack!"
---
2: A man is outside trimming some hedges, when he saw one of his neighbors walk outside to her mailbox!. She quickly opened it, slammed it shut and stormed back into the house!.
About ten minutes later, the man was mowing his lawn when he saw her again! She walked to her mailbox, opened it, slammed it shut and stormed back into her house!.
Ten minutes later, he saw her again! She walked to the mailbox, opened it, slammed it shut and let out an angry scream!. The man walked over to her and said, "Ma'am, what ever is the matter!?" and the woman replied, "My stupid computer keeps saying, "You've got mail!" "
---
3: Three men were on a plane when it crashed on a deserted island!. One man had blone hair, one man was bald, and the other had red hair!. Well, the three men ended up finding a native tribe, and the leader told them, "Go into the jungle and bring back ten pieces of one kind of fruit!." so all three men went into the jungle at the same time!.
The bald man came back first with apples!. The leader then said, "Put all of the apples up your butt without making a sound and we won't kill you!." The bald man makes it to two and doubles over, crying in pain, so they kill him!.
The man with read hair came back next with strawberries!. The leader said, "Put all of the strawberries up your butt without making a sound and we won't kill you!." The man with red hair makes it to five, when suddenly he stops and begins to laugh hysterically, and so they kill him!.
In Heaven, the bald man asked the red haired man, "Why in the world did you start laughing!?" and the red haired man said, "I just saw the other guy coming back with pineapples!"
I hope you enjoyed! By the way, that last one can be changed from pineapples, to watermelons, it just depends on which you think is funnier! :)Www@Enter-QA@Com
lollol!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Your mom's teeth are so big, she can eat corn-on-the-cob through a picket fence!.
Www@Enter-QA@Com
Www@Enter-QA@Com
those were good jokes! lolWww@Enter-QA@Com
I made this one up How did the boy cut his tong!?
Because he ate extra sharp cheddar Cheese LOL =]Www@Enter-QA@Com
Because he ate extra sharp cheddar Cheese LOL =]Www@Enter-QA@Com
ask them if they ever played pen 15
then write it on a paper PEN15 :]Www@Enter-QA@Com
then write it on a paper PEN15 :]Www@Enter-QA@Com
Rolls Royce
A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer!. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000!. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce!. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out!. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan!. The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan!. An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there!.
Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15!.41!. The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled!. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire!. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000!?" The blond replies!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!."Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15!.41 and expect it to be there when I return!?" Finally, a smart blondWww@Enter-QA@Com
A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer!. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000!. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce!. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out!. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan!. The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan!. An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there!.
Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15!.41!. The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled!. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire!. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000!?" The blond replies!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!."Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15!.41 and expect it to be there when I return!?" Finally, a smart blondWww@Enter-QA@Com