Can you tell me something really really funny?!
Question: Can you tell me something really really funny!?
i need a laugh!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
WHO IS JACK SCHITT!?
For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt!?
We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack
Schitt'! Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an
intellectual way!. Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt!. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer
magnate, who married O!. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N!. Schitt, Inc!. They had one son, Jack!. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt!. The deeply religious couple produced
six children: Holie Schitt, Gi va Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt!.Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout!. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced!. Noe
Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name!. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock!.
Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a
rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt!. Two of the other six children,
Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony!. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials!. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse!. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world!. He came home with his Italian wife; Piza Schitt
By Crock O Schit
Www@Enter-QA@Com
For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt!?
We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack
Schitt'! Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an
intellectual way!. Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt!. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer
magnate, who married O!. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N!. Schitt, Inc!. They had one son, Jack!. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt!. The deeply religious couple produced
six children: Holie Schitt, Gi va Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt!.Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout!. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced!. Noe
Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name!. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock!.
Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a
rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt!. Two of the other six children,
Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony!. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials!. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse!. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world!. He came home with his Italian wife; Piza Schitt
By Crock O Schit
Www@Enter-QA@Com
10 Husbands, Still a Virgin
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands!.
On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin!."
"What!?" said the puzzled groom!.
"How can that be if you've been married ten times!?"
"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be!.
Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me!.
Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up!.
Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver!.
Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method!.
Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not!.
Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it!.
Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it!.
Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it!.
Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was!.!.!. God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "but, why!?"
"You're a lawyer!. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!" Www@Enter-QA@Com
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands!.
On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin!."
"What!?" said the puzzled groom!.
"How can that be if you've been married ten times!?"
"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be!.
Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me!.
Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up!.
Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver!.
Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method!.
Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not!.
Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it!.
Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it!.
Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it!.
Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was!.!.!. God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "but, why!?"
"You're a lawyer!. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!" Www@Enter-QA@Com
JIGSAW PUZZLE
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me!. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started!.
" Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished!?" The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger!."
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle!. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table!.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger!."
He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax!. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then," he sighed, "let's put all these Frosted Flakes back in the boxWww@Enter-QA@Com
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me!. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started!.
" Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished!?" The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger!."
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle!. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table!.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger!."
He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax!. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then," he sighed, "let's put all these Frosted Flakes back in the boxWww@Enter-QA@Com
A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner!.
Both he and his wife decide that they won't tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess!.
The kids were eager to know what the meat was on their plates, so they begged their dad for the clue!.
Well, he said, "it's what mommy calls me sometimes!."
The little girl screams to her brother,
"Don't eat it, Johnny, it's an a$$hole!"
Www@Enter-QA@Com
Both he and his wife decide that they won't tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess!.
The kids were eager to know what the meat was on their plates, so they begged their dad for the clue!.
Well, he said, "it's what mommy calls me sometimes!."
The little girl screams to her brother,
"Don't eat it, Johnny, it's an a$$hole!"
Www@Enter-QA@Com
How about the philosophy professor who put his chair on top of his desk and asked his students to write a paper on "why the chair is not there!.' One student spent three minutes writing and put his paper on the professors desk!.
The others spent the hour writing, erasing and erasing their papers and put them on the professors desk!.
The next week the professor handed out the graded papers!. The student who spent three minutes writing got the highest score!.
His answer was "what chair!?"Www@Enter-QA@Com
The others spent the hour writing, erasing and erasing their papers and put them on the professors desk!.
The next week the professor handed out the graded papers!. The student who spent three minutes writing got the highest score!.
His answer was "what chair!?"Www@Enter-QA@Com
A couple had been debating about the purchase of a new car for weeks!. He wanted a truck!. She wanted a fast little sports car so she could zip around though traffic in town!. They ended up settling for the truck as she sports car was so much out of their price range!.“Look” she said!. “I want something that goes from 0 to 200 in 4 seconds or less!. And my birthday is coming up!. You could surprise me!.”!.!. So for the birthday he bought her a brand new bathroom scale!.
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http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index!?!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Seriously, Peter Andre wants to go into politicsWww@Enter-QA@Com