Tell me some of the best jokes you know!?!
Question: Tell me some of the best jokes you know!!?
No certain subject, can be perverted!. Anything!!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
so there's this blonde brunette and native woman all sitting at the table for dinner so the blonde woman's cell phone starts ringing "oops sorry i have to answer this" next the brunette woman's blackberry goes off "oops i've got some mail coming in" so the native woman started thinking man i've got to outdo these woman so she's goes to the bathroom and comes back out with toilet paper in the back of her pants and says "oops looks like i've got a fax coming in"
here's another one
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip!. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep!.
Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend!. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see!.”
“I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes” replies Watson!.
“And what do you deduce from that!?”
Watson ponders for a minute!. “Well,
Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets!.
Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo!.
Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three!.
Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow!.
Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe!.
But what does it tell you, Holmes!?”
Holmes is silent for a moment!.
“Watson, you idiot!” he says!. “Someone has stolen our tent!”
and here's a couple more
Texan: “Where are you from!?”
Harvard grad: “I come from a place where we do not end our sentences with prepositions!.”
Texan: “Okay – where are you from, jackass!?”
An Alsatian went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote, “Woof!. Woof!. Woof!. Woof!. Woof!. Woof!. Woof!. Woof!. Woof!.”
The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog: “There are only nine words here!. You could send another ‘Woof’ for the same price!.”
“But,” the dog replied, “that would make no sense at all!.”
Two fish in a tank!.
One turns to the other and says “Do you know how to drive this!?”
What do you call a monkey in a minefield !?
A Baboom !
A scientist and a philosopher were being chased by a hungry lion!. The scientist made some quick calculations, he said “it's no good trying to outrun it, its catching up”!.
The philosopher kept a little ahead and replied “I am not trying to outrun the lion, I am trying to outrun you !”
Which day of the week do fish hate!?!.!.!.!.!.!.!.
Fry-Day
Www@Enter-QA@Com
here's another one
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip!. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep!.
Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend!. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see!.”
“I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes” replies Watson!.
“And what do you deduce from that!?”
Watson ponders for a minute!. “Well,
Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets!.
Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo!.
Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three!.
Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow!.
Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe!.
But what does it tell you, Holmes!?”
Holmes is silent for a moment!.
“Watson, you idiot!” he says!. “Someone has stolen our tent!”
and here's a couple more
Texan: “Where are you from!?”
Harvard grad: “I come from a place where we do not end our sentences with prepositions!.”
Texan: “Okay – where are you from, jackass!?”
An Alsatian went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote, “Woof!. Woof!. Woof!. Woof!. Woof!. Woof!. Woof!. Woof!. Woof!.”
The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog: “There are only nine words here!. You could send another ‘Woof’ for the same price!.”
“But,” the dog replied, “that would make no sense at all!.”
Two fish in a tank!.
One turns to the other and says “Do you know how to drive this!?”
What do you call a monkey in a minefield !?
A Baboom !
A scientist and a philosopher were being chased by a hungry lion!. The scientist made some quick calculations, he said “it's no good trying to outrun it, its catching up”!.
The philosopher kept a little ahead and replied “I am not trying to outrun the lion, I am trying to outrun you !”
Which day of the week do fish hate!?!.!.!.!.!.!.!.
Fry-Day
Www@Enter-QA@Com
One day at the Pearly Gates, a beautiful yound woman presented herself for admittance!. During the checklist for applicants, St!. Peter asked, "Are you a virgin!?"
The girl answered, "Yes, of course!."
"We'll have to verify that!." and an angelic doctor took her into an examining room!. After a short while, the report came back:
"While technically intact, there were several small dents on the subject's maidenhead!."
St!. Peter thought about it a bit, then decided it wasn't enough to prohibit entry!. "OK, Snow White!.!.you're in!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
The girl answered, "Yes, of course!."
"We'll have to verify that!." and an angelic doctor took her into an examining room!. After a short while, the report came back:
"While technically intact, there were several small dents on the subject's maidenhead!."
St!. Peter thought about it a bit, then decided it wasn't enough to prohibit entry!. "OK, Snow White!.!.you're in!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
A blonde is driving on her way to work!.
Her husband calls her cellphone, and tells her to be careful
because there is a crazed driver
going the wrong way on the 405!.
To which the blond replies "Yeah there's not just one,
there's f*cking hundreds of them!"
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Q:why is santa's sack so big!?
A: because he only 'come' once a year :)
Q: why shouldnt you throw rocks at a homeless on a bike
A: because its probably your bikeWww@Enter-QA@Com
A: because he only 'come' once a year :)
Q: why shouldnt you throw rocks at a homeless on a bike
A: because its probably your bikeWww@Enter-QA@Com
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend!?
He wiped his rear end!.
Two cannibals are enjoying dining on a clown!. One says to the other,
"Does this taste funny to you!?"Www@Enter-QA@Com
He wiped his rear end!.
Two cannibals are enjoying dining on a clown!. One says to the other,
"Does this taste funny to you!?"Www@Enter-QA@Com
A guy clad only in a pair of underwear made out of Saran wrap walks into his psychiatrist's office!. The doctor looks at him and says, "I can clearly see you're nuts!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
Heres a joke I know but its not very funny:
Teacher: what are the three words kids use most often in school!?
Student: I don't know!.
Teacher:correct!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Teacher: what are the three words kids use most often in school!?
Student: I don't know!.
Teacher:correct!Www@Enter-QA@Com
I got one!! Say Knock, knock!!Www@Enter-QA@Com
What do you call a 50 year old virgin!?
Answer: A golden cherry!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answer: A golden cherry!Www@Enter-QA@Com