Anyone want to hear some more Tommy Cooper Jokes?!
Question: Anyone want to hear some more Tommy Cooper Jokes!?
So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up, and he
said 'You've been promoted!.'
And I swerved!.
And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted again!.'
And I swerved again!.
He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director!.'
And I went into a tree!.
And a policeman came up and said
'What happened to you!?'
And I said 'I careered off the road!.'
----------------------------------------!.!.!.
Now, most dentists' chairs go up and down, don't they!?
The one I was in went back and forwards!.
I thought 'This is unusual'!.
And the dentist said to me
'Mr!. Cooper, get out of the filing cabinet!.'
----------------------------------------!.!.!.
So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give
me a lift!?"
I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it!."
----------------------------------------!.!.!.
Two cannibals eating a clown!. One says to the other
"Does this taste funny to you!?"
----------------------------------------!.!.!.
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, and
the other was eating fireworks!.
They charged one and let the other one off!.
----------------------------------------!.!.!.
You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today!.
They left a little note on the windscreen; it said 'Parking Fine!.'
So that was nice!.
----------------------------------------!.!.!.
A man walked into the doctors,
The doctor said "I haven't seen you in a long time"
The man replied, "I know I've been ill"
----------------------------------------!.!.!.
A man walked into the doctors,
he said "I've hurt my arm in several places"
The doctor said, "well don't go to those places"
----------------------------------------!.!.!.
I had a ploughman's lunch the other day!.
He wasn't very happy!.
----------------------------------------!.!.!.
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I
couldn't find any!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
said 'You've been promoted!.'
And I swerved!.
And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted again!.'
And I swerved again!.
He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director!.'
And I went into a tree!.
And a policeman came up and said
'What happened to you!?'
And I said 'I careered off the road!.'
----------------------------------------!.!.!.
Now, most dentists' chairs go up and down, don't they!?
The one I was in went back and forwards!.
I thought 'This is unusual'!.
And the dentist said to me
'Mr!. Cooper, get out of the filing cabinet!.'
----------------------------------------!.!.!.
So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give
me a lift!?"
I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it!."
----------------------------------------!.!.!.
Two cannibals eating a clown!. One says to the other
"Does this taste funny to you!?"
----------------------------------------!.!.!.
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, and
the other was eating fireworks!.
They charged one and let the other one off!.
----------------------------------------!.!.!.
You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today!.
They left a little note on the windscreen; it said 'Parking Fine!.'
So that was nice!.
----------------------------------------!.!.!.
A man walked into the doctors,
The doctor said "I haven't seen you in a long time"
The man replied, "I know I've been ill"
----------------------------------------!.!.!.
A man walked into the doctors,
he said "I've hurt my arm in several places"
The doctor said, "well don't go to those places"
----------------------------------------!.!.!.
I had a ploughman's lunch the other day!.
He wasn't very happy!.
----------------------------------------!.!.!.
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I
couldn't find any!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
OH THE OLD CLASSICS AND YOU REMEMBERED THEM ALL AS TOMMY COOPER WOULD SAY "JUST LIKE THAT" i'm in such a good mood now i'm away to read the rest of your brilliant jokes lol xxWww@Enter-QA@Com
theres two pieces of chicken in an oven!. One steak turns to the other and says "man, it's really hot in here!." the other turns and screams "Ahhhh! a talking chicken!!"
Www@Enter-QA@Com
Www@Enter-QA@Com
So here I am in the middle, and these are as daft as the others, in fact nearly as funny!.!.!.keep it up, no, that's not right!.!.!.!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Tommy Cooper died long before mobile phones were popular!.!.!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
LMFAO I love Tommy Cooper jokes!. No-one could tell them better than he did LOLWww@Enter-QA@Com
Find a new joke book, please!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
lmao love these jokes XDWww@Enter-QA@Com
bless tommy!.Www@Enter-QA@Com