Joke> Do you know the top four adult jokes are?!
Question: Joke> Do you know the top four adult jokes are!?
Fourth Place:
A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast!.They are both quite startled!. The man turns to her and says, 'Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me!.' She replies, 'If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 221!.' ----------------------------------------!.!.!.
Third Place :
One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his wife's arm!. The wife turns over and says 'I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh!.' The husband, rejected, turns over!. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again!. 'Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too!?' ----------------------------------------!.!.!.
Runner Up:
Bill worked in a pickle factory!. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion!. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer!. His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed!. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own!. One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and his wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong!. 'What's wrong, Bill!?' she asked!. 'Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer!?' 'Oh, Bill, you didn't' she exclaimed!. 'Yes, I did!.' he replied!.
'My God, Bill, what happened!?'
'I got fired!.''No, Bill!. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer!?' 'Oh!.!.!.she got fired too!.'
--------------------------------------!.!.!. Winner:
A couple had been married for 50 years!. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, 'Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together!.' 'I know,' the old man said!. 'We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago!.' 'Well,' Granny snickered!. 'Let's relive some old times!.' Whereupon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table!. 'You know, honey,' the little old lady breathlessly replied, 'My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago!.' 'I wouldn't be surprised,' replied Gramps!. 'One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal!.'
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A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast!.They are both quite startled!. The man turns to her and says, 'Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me!.' She replies, 'If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 221!.' ----------------------------------------!.!.!.
Third Place :
One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his wife's arm!. The wife turns over and says 'I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh!.' The husband, rejected, turns over!. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again!. 'Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too!?' ----------------------------------------!.!.!.
Runner Up:
Bill worked in a pickle factory!. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion!. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer!. His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed!. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own!. One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and his wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong!. 'What's wrong, Bill!?' she asked!. 'Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer!?' 'Oh, Bill, you didn't' she exclaimed!. 'Yes, I did!.' he replied!.
'My God, Bill, what happened!?'
'I got fired!.''No, Bill!. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer!?' 'Oh!.!.!.she got fired too!.'
--------------------------------------!.!.!. Winner:
A couple had been married for 50 years!. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, 'Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together!.' 'I know,' the old man said!. 'We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago!.' 'Well,' Granny snickered!. 'Let's relive some old times!.' Whereupon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table!. 'You know, honey,' the little old lady breathlessly replied, 'My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago!.' 'I wouldn't be surprised,' replied Gramps!. 'One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal!.'
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Answers:
Kitty!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.I howled, read them to pa, too, and he howled as well!
Thanks!
maWww@Enter-QA@Com
Thanks!
maWww@Enter-QA@Com
They are brilliant!. Especially the last one!. I was laughing at that one so hard and for so long that i forgot what i was laughing about and then when i remembered i started up again!.
Great work!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Great work!Www@Enter-QA@Com
lol! i like the 4th and 3rd place ones the best, though! the 1st 2 arent as good!.
http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index!?!.!.!. Www@Enter-QA@Com
http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index!?!.!.!. Www@Enter-QA@Com
I'm going to copy this and E-mail it to my friends!. I especially liked the winner!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
I liked third and fourth place the best! The winner was too close to home lol!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Ha!.!.!.!. I like fourth and third place best! Www@Enter-QA@Com
those are hilarious!. keep them coming!. you made my morning better!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
the winner was so funny!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Really funny ,I liked the one about the pickle slicer best !Www@Enter-QA@Com
ah i have a *****Www@Enter-QA@Com
those were all pretty funnyWww@Enter-QA@Com
These are cute!. I'm writing just to have a reference of these jokes!. Www@Enter-QA@Com
Those are good, but I though this was the top one:
A priest and a rabbi were sitting next to each other on an airplane!. After a while, the priest turned to the rabbi and asked, "Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork!?"
The rabbi responded, "Yes, that is still one of our beliefs!."
The priest then asked, "Have you ever eaten pork!?"
To which the rabbi replied, "Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to temptation and tasted a ham sandwich!."
The priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading!.
A while later, the rabbi spoke up and asked the priest, "Father, is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate!?"
The priest replied, "Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith!."
The rabbi then asked him, "Father, have you ever fallen to the temptations of the flesh!?"
The priest replied, "Yes, rabbi, on one occasion, before I took my vows, I was with a woman!."
The rabbi nodded understandingly and remained silent, thinking, for a few minutes!.
Finally, the rabbi said, "Beats the hell out of a ham sandwich, doesn't it!?"
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A priest and a rabbi were sitting next to each other on an airplane!. After a while, the priest turned to the rabbi and asked, "Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork!?"
The rabbi responded, "Yes, that is still one of our beliefs!."
The priest then asked, "Have you ever eaten pork!?"
To which the rabbi replied, "Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to temptation and tasted a ham sandwich!."
The priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading!.
A while later, the rabbi spoke up and asked the priest, "Father, is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate!?"
The priest replied, "Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith!."
The rabbi then asked him, "Father, have you ever fallen to the temptations of the flesh!?"
The priest replied, "Yes, rabbi, on one occasion, before I took my vows, I was with a woman!."
The rabbi nodded understandingly and remained silent, thinking, for a few minutes!.
Finally, the rabbi said, "Beats the hell out of a ham sandwich, doesn't it!?"
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Kitty, I was certain you were going to give the answers, as I didn't know them and you have me in "stitches" once again! :)))) You are quite the character and I always look forward to your jokes! Thanks for the laughs again!. Granny went south eh!? LOL Ouch! I really loved the one about the husband asking if the wife had a dental appointment! I got the drift!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.he he he Www@Enter-QA@Com