What is a really good CLEAN joke?!


Question: What is a really good CLEAN joke!?
know any!? not any really stupid ones please!? and keep em' clean!.

ps: story jokes are my favorites :)Www@Enter-QA@Com


Answers:
this is one of my absolute favourites (= hope you enjoy it !

A husband a wife are travelling in a car one day!. As usual they both begin to argue!.They pass a herd of cows grazing in a field the husband looks towards his wife and says 'look there are your relatives' the wife replies 'yep their my in laws'

xWww@Enter-QA@Com

I got one for a DEAF JOKE! Naturally from a deaf person

while a newly wedded couple were deaf and on the way to their honeymoon but half way there they arrived to the motel
they have the last room to occupied!.
a few hours later she told her husband that she out for a coffee and then she went out

she came back and forgot the room number and was panicking and then she came up with the Honking she honked it for so long til all the lighted turn on til the last room wasnt lit AH HA there is it My room!Www@Enter-QA@Com

Three guys are dead and standing at the pearly gates!. St!. peter says there is only room for one more in heaven!. He proposes that the three individuals have duel with the devil and whoever wins goes to heaven!.
One guy is an average Joe
One guy is a math genius
One guy is a code breaker

The devil devises a code and tells the code breaker to solve it, he cannot, The devil snaps his fingers and he goes to hell!.

The devil then proceeds to formulate the algorithm to the universe and turns to the math genius to solve it!. The math genius cannot, so the devil snaps his fingers and he goes to hell!.

The average Joe comes up and asks the devil to make a chair with seven holes drilled in the seat appear!. The devil obliges!. The average Joe sits in the chair and farts and then asks the devil to identify which hole the fart came through!. The devil picks the middle hole in the chair!. The average Joe says "nope, you're wrong it came from my butt hole"

Average Joe goes to heavenWww@Enter-QA@Com

When Bob Hope died a few years ago, a reporter called the comedian/activist Dick Gregory at 3:00am!. The reporter said, " Please forgive us for disturbing you so early Mr!.Gregory, but we wanted to get your reaction concerning the report about Bob Hope's death!?" Dick Gregory said that he responded by saying," Bob Hope just died!? I thought he was dead long time ago! Well I think that Bob Hope's family should call Jesse Jackson, get on their knees and kiss his feet!"

The reporter quickly asked, "Why!?"!. Dick Gregory then said, " Because for years Jesse was always saying, 'Keep Hope alive! Keep Hope alive! ' "!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

A boy goes to his dad and asks: "Whats politics"
His dad says to him well let me put it this way!. Im the president your moms the government your nanny is the working class, your the people and your baby brother is the future!. He doesnt understand but says okay and goes to bed!. The next morning he was playing with his brother and hes brother started to stink!. So he went to find his mom and she was asleep!. He went to look for his dad and his dad was in the library with the nanny!. He looks at his dad and say "Oh! Now i get it! The president is screwing the working class, the government is asleep on the job, the people are confused and the futures full of ****!."Www@Enter-QA@Com

A cab driver picks up a nun!. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won't stop staring at her!.

She asks him why he is staring!.

He replies: "I have a question to ask you, but I don't want to offend you"!.

She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me!. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything!. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive!."

"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me!."
She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that!. But first, you have to be single and you must be Catholic!."
The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I'm single and Catholic!"

"OK" the nun says!. "Pull off to the side of the road, "maybe we will see what we can do!."

The nun plants a whopper of a kiss on the cabbie! But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying!.

"My dear child," said the nun, why are you crying!?"
"Forgive me, but I've sinned!. I lied!. I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish!."

The nun says, "That's OK, my name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party!."Www@Enter-QA@Com

A cab driver picks up a nun!. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won't stop staring at her!.

She asks him why he is staring!.

He replies: "I have a question to ask you, but I don't want to offend you"!.

She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me!. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything!. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive!."

"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me!."
She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that!. But first, you have to be single and you must be Catholic!."
The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I'm single and Catholic!"

"OK" the nun says!. "Pull off to the side of the road, "maybe we will see what we can do!."

The nun plants a whopper of a kiss on the cabbie! But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying!.

"My dear child," said the nun, why are you crying!?"
"Forgive me, but I've sinned!. I lied!. I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish!."

The nun says, "That's OK, my name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party!."Www@Enter-QA@Com

Yo' mama so stupid, she walked into an antique shop and asked "What's new!?"


Yo mama's so fat, when she stepped on the dog's tail we had to change his name to Beaver!.


Yo mama is so stupid, I told her Christmas was right around the corner - so she went looking for it!.


Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks Tupac Shakur is a Jewish holiday!.


Yo mama so fat when she stepped in front of the t!.v!., I missed two episodes


Yo mama so fat, even God couldn't lift her spirits!.


Yo mama so cross-eyed, when she crys, tears rolled down her back!.


Yo mama so fat instead of having lint in her belly button, she has full sweaters!.


Yo mama so poor, she eats cereal with a fork just to save the milk!.


Yo mama's head so big, instead of having dreams she has motion pictures


Yo mama so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up


Yo mama so stupid she sold her car for petrol money!


Yo mama so stupid she took a spoon to the superbowl


Yo mama so stupid that she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center!.


Yo mama so skinny she hula hoops with a cheerio


Yo mama so lazy she thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two jobs!.


Yo mama so poor she can't afford to pay attention!


Yo mama so bald you can see whats on her mind


Yo mama so bald that she took a shower and got brain-washed


Yo mama so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals!."



Yo mama so ugly just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it!."


Yo mama so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween!.


Yo mama so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras


Yo mama so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye!.


Yo mama so old I told her to act her own age, and she died!.


Yo mama so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals!.


Yo mama's glasses are so thick she can see into the future!.


Yo mama aint so bad!.!.!.she would give you the hair off of her back!


Yo mama teeth are so rotten, when she smiles they look like diceWww@Enter-QA@Com

so there was this turtle who sold frying pans!. he walks up to this one house and knocks on the door!. the man answers and looks around, and doesn't see anyone, so he shuts the door!. the turtles like, what the heck

so he knocks again, and this time when the man answers the turtles says, hey man, im down here!.

the man says woah whats going on, a talking turtle with a frying pan on his head!?
the turtle says, uh yeah, would you like to buy a frying pan!?

No! the man shouts, and he picks up the turtle and kicks him all the way down the driveway!.
10 years later the old man had gone to an old folks home, and his son was now living in the house


the turtle walks up, and knocks on the door!.
when the man answers the door, the turtle says
hey what was that for!?!

you might have to read it again to get it!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

On the first day of school three boys and one girl were late to class!. The teacher asked the first boy why he was late!. He said he was on blueberry hill!. The other two boys said the same thing!. The teacher then turned to the girl and said "I suppose you were on blueberry hill as well!." She replied "No, I am Blueberry Hill!."Www@Enter-QA@Com

There's Abraham Lincoln, Bill Clinton, and George W!. Bush in an airplane!. Abraham wants to do something good for the country so he throws out a penny!. Clinton wants to do something good for the country so he throws out a five dollar bill!. George W!. wants to do something good for the country so he throws out Clinton!Www@Enter-QA@Com

a good clean joke is one that don,t have any nasty words in it ,
like this one (but it,s more of a visual joke)
person #1 "what is big brown and has legs !?"
person #2 "i don!.t know "
person #1 neither do i but it crawling up your back "!.!.
Www@Enter-QA@Com

I heard this on the radio the other day it was so corny it made me laugh!.lol

Why does a golfer carry a spare jacket!?



!.!.!.in case he gets a hole in one!.!.!.!.!.

sorry lame I know!. its so hard to find clean humor!. lolWww@Enter-QA@Com

How does Hitler ties his shoes!?

With little Nazis!

How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker was getting for Christmas!?

He felt his presents!

What do you get if you cross a T-Rex with Chuck Norris!?

A dead T-Rex!. NOBODY crosses Chuck Norris!Www@Enter-QA@Com

What do you get when you cross a tank and a nuclear bomb!?

Chuck Norris



best pickup line ever! (kinda dirty)

Is there a mirror in your pants!? Because I can totally see myself in them!.

lol love that one

GLWww@Enter-QA@Com

when some one sings and they cant sing good , just say this

You: do you know who sings that song

Terrible singer: yea

You: lets keep it that wayWww@Enter-QA@Com

Micky mouse wanted to get a job as a teacher of astronomy!. The interviewer said "How much do you know about space!?" Mickey said "Well, I can see Pluto from my window!."Www@Enter-QA@Com

Two guys are talking and one says to the other, Do you have any trouble making decisions!?" And the 1st one says, "Well, Yes and No"!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

http://www!.thejokeyard!.com/

this is a really good site that has pages full of clean jokes as well as other jokes too!. i love this site it makes me lawlWww@Enter-QA@Com

Wanna hear a dirty joke: A man fell in the mud!! Lol!

Now for a clean joke: He had a bath!Www@Enter-QA@Com

The bear fell of the tree!. Do you think its funny!. The bear didn't either!.

Sorry lol I can not think of anything funnyWww@Enter-QA@Com

OK let's see uhhhhhhh how many Michael Jacksons dose it take to screw in a light bulb!?



(only one because he likes it) [screw<-------]

IDK i made that upWww@Enter-QA@Com

What do you call a pig that knows karate!?

A pork chop!



Your mom is fat that her myspace top 8 was all restaurants!.



lol Www@Enter-QA@Com

why was the elephant afraid of the computer!?



because of the mouse!
not so funny but whateverWww@Enter-QA@Com

Do you want to here a dirty joke!?!?

A white horse fell in a pile of mud!

ha ha lol that one craks me up!.!.!. ya rightWww@Enter-QA@Com

Why did the dumb blonde fall out of the tree and die !?
She was raking the leaves!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

http://www!.ahajokes!.com/Www@Enter-QA@Com

One day a boy took a shower!.!.!.

Get it, clean as turkey is lean!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

two pretzels were walking down the street one got as"salted"Www@Enter-QA@Com

Whats a shower's favorite thing to do!?


Watch SOAP operas!. hahahahaWww@Enter-QA@Com

A white horse fell in a mudhole!.
Www@Enter-QA@Com



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