I need a laugh pls! any jokes?!?!?!


Question: I need a laugh pls! any jokes!?!!?!!?
pls any jokes i love jokes and i need some funny ones i really feel liek laughin plsplsplsWww@Enter-QA@Com


Answers:
Hospital Patient

A sweet old lady telephoned St!. Joseph's Hospital!. She timidly asked, "Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing!?" The operator said, "I can, what's the name and room number!?"

The old laday in her weak voice said, "Norma Findlay, Room 302!."

The operator replied, "Let me place you on hold while I check with her nurse!."

After a few minutes the operator returned to the phone and said, "Oh, I have good news, her nurse just told me that Norma is doing very well!. Her blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back as normal and her physician, Dr!. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged on Tuesday!."

The old lady said, "Thank you!. That's wonderful! I was so worried! God bless you!"

The operator replied, "You're more than welcome!. Is Norma your daughter!?"

The grandmother said, "No, I'm Norma Findlay in 302!. No one tells me ****!.

Dear Husband:

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good!. I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it!. These last two weeks have been hell!. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw!.

Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee!. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the game!. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch me or anything!. Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore, whatever the case is, I'm gone!.

P!.S!. If you're trying to find me, don't!. Your BROTHER and I are moving away to West Virginia together!

Have a great life! > Your EX-Wife

**************************************!.!.!. ********************************

Dear Ex-Wife

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter!. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been!. I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant nagging!. Too bad that doesn't work!. I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say anything if you can't say anything nice!.

When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago!. I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it!. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49!.99!.

After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out!. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica!.

But when I got home you were gone!. Everything happens for a reason I guess!.

I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted!. My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me!. So take care!.

P!.S!. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was born Carla!. I hope that's not a problem!.

Signed Rich As Hell and Free!Www@Enter-QA@Com

Who's This Guy

After a long night of making love, the young guy rolled over, pulled out a cigarette from his jeans and searched for his lighter!.

Unable to find it, he asked the girl if she had one at hand!.

"There might be some matches in the top drawer," she replied!.

He opened the drawer of the bedside table and found a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man!.

Naturally, the guy began to worry!.

"Is this your husband!?" he inquired nervously!.

"No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him!.

"Your boyfriend then!?" he asked!.

"No, not at all," she said, nibbling away at his ear!.

"Well, who is he then!?" demanded the bewildered guy!.

Calmly, the girl replied, "That's me before the operation!."Www@Enter-QA@Com

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas!. With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting: ''I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes!. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way!? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being!? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general!.!.!.and all in the name of humor!''

The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells, ''You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little jerk on your knee!'' Www@Enter-QA@Com


Dear Dad letter!.!.!.!.

A father passing by his son's bedroom, was astonished to see the bed was
nicely made, and everything was picked up!. Then, he saw an envelope,
propped up prominently on the pillow!. It was addressed, 'Dad!.' With the
worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with
trembling hands!.

'Dear, Dad!. It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you!. I
had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene
with Mum and you!.

I've been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I
knew you would not approve of her, because of all her piercing's,
tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older
than I am!.

But it's not only the passion, Dad!. She's pregnant!. Stacy said that we
will be very happy!. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of
firewood for the whole winter!. We share a dream of having many more
children!.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't, really hurt
anyone!. We'll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with the other
people in the commune, for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want!.

In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so
Stacy can get better!. She sure deserves it!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself!. Someday,
I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to know your many
grandchildren!.

Love, your son, Joshua!.

P!.S !. Dad, none of the above is true!. I'm over at Jason's house!. I just
wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school
report that's on the kitchen table!.

Call when it is safe for me to come home!Www@Enter-QA@Com

OKay here is lots!.!.!.!.
Whats homer simpsons favorite celeb!? OrlanDOH! bloom!.
this ones looong!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.
A man staggers into an emergency room with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat!. Naturally, the doctor asks him what happened!.

“Well, it was like this,” said the man!. “I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a pasture of cows!. We went to look for them, and while I was rooting around, noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end!. I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife’s monogram on it– stuck right in the middle of the cow’s butt!.” “That’s when I made my big mistake!.” “What did you do!?” asks the doctor!.

“Well, I lifted the cow’s tail again and yelled to my wife, “Hey, this looks like yours!” “I don’t remember much after that!”



Hung Chow calls into work and says, “Hey, I no come work today, I really sick!. Got headache, stomach ache and legs hurt, I no come work!.”

The boss says, “You know something, Hung Chow, I really need you today!. When I feel like this, I go to my wife and tell her I want sex!. That makes everything better and I go to work!. You try that!.”

Two hours later Hung Chow calls again!. “I do what you say and I feel great!. I be at work soon… You got nice house!.”
Www@Enter-QA@Com

halloween one:
what did the ghost say about his cookie!?

just like the ones mummy used to make!
Thanksgiving one:
what did the turkey say when offered more food!?
no thanks, im stuffed!

hope i made you laugh even though my jokes are really lame!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

One day a guy went to visit his psychiatrist, wearing only a pair of undies made out of Saran Wrap!. The Doctor took one look at him and said, "I can clearly see you're nuts!."Www@Enter-QA@Com

You want to know what's a joke!?

Creationists!. ha, ha, ha, ha!!!!!!!!Www@Enter-QA@Com



The answer content post by the user, if contains the copyright content please contact us, we will immediately remove it.
Copyright © 2007 enter-qa.com -   Contact us

Entertainment Categories