Now now a clean and a dirty joke?!
Question: Now now a clean and a dirty joke!?
The newly wed wife said to her husband when he returned from work, "I have great news for you!. Pretty soon we're going to be three in this house instead of two!."
The husband started glowing with happiness and kissing his wife said, "Oh darling, I'm the happiest man in the world!."
"I'm glad that you feel that way because tomorrow morning my mother moves in with us," she replied!.
A honeymooning couple had purchased a talking parrot and taken it to their room, where much to the groom`s annoyance, the bird kept up a running commentary on their love making!.
Finally the groom threw a large towel over the cage and threatened to give the parrot to the zoo if he didn`t quit it!.
The next morning, packing to return home, the couple couldn`t close a large suitcase!.
The groom said, "Darling, you get on top and I`ll try!."
That didn`t work!.
Figuring they needed more weight on the lid, she said, "Sweetheart, you get on top and I`ll try!."
Still no success!.
So, he said, "Look!. Let`s both get on top!."
At that point the parrot pulled away the towel with his beak and said: "Zoo or no zoo!. I just gotta see this!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
The husband started glowing with happiness and kissing his wife said, "Oh darling, I'm the happiest man in the world!."
"I'm glad that you feel that way because tomorrow morning my mother moves in with us," she replied!.
A honeymooning couple had purchased a talking parrot and taken it to their room, where much to the groom`s annoyance, the bird kept up a running commentary on their love making!.
Finally the groom threw a large towel over the cage and threatened to give the parrot to the zoo if he didn`t quit it!.
The next morning, packing to return home, the couple couldn`t close a large suitcase!.
The groom said, "Darling, you get on top and I`ll try!."
That didn`t work!.
Figuring they needed more weight on the lid, she said, "Sweetheart, you get on top and I`ll try!."
Still no success!.
So, he said, "Look!. Let`s both get on top!."
At that point the parrot pulled away the towel with his beak and said: "Zoo or no zoo!. I just gotta see this!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
Thank you just heard some sad news and your parrot joke has just cheered me up!. Have a star from me :)Www@Enter-QA@Com
Hahaha Angry Panther strike again!.!.!.LOL Www@Enter-QA@Com
Hahaha lmao :-D!Www@Enter-QA@Com
thanks !. please continue this often!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Second one was funny!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
First was old and command no laught any more!. But second one was really hilarious!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
GoodWww@Enter-QA@Com
lol those where funnyWww@Enter-QA@Com
goodWww@Enter-QA@Com
1 clean joke : A driver is pulled over by a policeman!. The police man approaches the driver's door!. "Is there a problem Officer!?"
The policeman says, "Sir, you were speeding!. Can I see your licence
please!?"
The driver responds, "I'd give it to you but I don't have one!."
"You don't have one!?"
The man responds, "I lost it four times for drunk driving!."
The policeman is shocked!. "I see!. Can I see your vehicle registration
papers please!?"
"I'm sorry, I can't do that!."
The policeman says, "Why not!?"
"I stole this car!."
The officer says, "Stole it!?"
The man says, "Yes, and I killed the owner!."
At this point the officer is getting worried!. "You what!!?"
"She's in the trunk if you want to see!."
The Officer looks at the man and slowly backs away to his car and
calls for back up!. Within minutes, five police cars show up,
surrounding the car!. A senior officer slowly approaches the car,
clasping his half drawn gun!.
The senior officer says "Sir, could you step out of your vehicle
please!"
The man steps out of his vehicle!. "Is there a problem sir!?"
"One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and
murdered the owner!."
"Murdered the owner!?"
The officer responds, "Yes, could you please open the trunk of your
car please!?"
The man opens the trunk, revealing nothing!.
The officer says, "Is this your car sir!?"
The man says "Yes," and hands over the registration papers!.
The officer, understandably, is quite stunned!. "One of my officers
claims that you do not have a driving licence!."
The man digs in his pocket revealing a wallet and hands it to the
officer!. The officer opens the wallet and examines the licence!. He
looks quite puzzled!. "Thank you sir, one of my officers told me you
didn't have a licence, stole this car, and murdered the owner!."
The man replies, "I bet you the liar told you I was speeding, too!"
2!. dirty joke: A not necessarily well-prepared student sat in his life
science classroom,staring at a question on the final
exam paper!.The question directed: "Give four advantages
of breast milk!." What to write!? He sighed, and began to
scribble whatever came into his head, hoping for the
best:
1!. No need to boil!.
2!. Never goes sour!.
3!. Available whenever necessary!.
So far so good - maybe!. But the exam demanded a fourth
answer!.
Again, what to write!? Once more, he sighed!. He frowned!.
He scowled, then sighed again!.Suddenly, he brightened!.
He grabbed his pen, and triumphantly, he scribbled his
definitive answer:
4!. Available in attractive containers of varying sizes!.
He received an A!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
The policeman says, "Sir, you were speeding!. Can I see your licence
please!?"
The driver responds, "I'd give it to you but I don't have one!."
"You don't have one!?"
The man responds, "I lost it four times for drunk driving!."
The policeman is shocked!. "I see!. Can I see your vehicle registration
papers please!?"
"I'm sorry, I can't do that!."
The policeman says, "Why not!?"
"I stole this car!."
The officer says, "Stole it!?"
The man says, "Yes, and I killed the owner!."
At this point the officer is getting worried!. "You what!!?"
"She's in the trunk if you want to see!."
The Officer looks at the man and slowly backs away to his car and
calls for back up!. Within minutes, five police cars show up,
surrounding the car!. A senior officer slowly approaches the car,
clasping his half drawn gun!.
The senior officer says "Sir, could you step out of your vehicle
please!"
The man steps out of his vehicle!. "Is there a problem sir!?"
"One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and
murdered the owner!."
"Murdered the owner!?"
The officer responds, "Yes, could you please open the trunk of your
car please!?"
The man opens the trunk, revealing nothing!.
The officer says, "Is this your car sir!?"
The man says "Yes," and hands over the registration papers!.
The officer, understandably, is quite stunned!. "One of my officers
claims that you do not have a driving licence!."
The man digs in his pocket revealing a wallet and hands it to the
officer!. The officer opens the wallet and examines the licence!. He
looks quite puzzled!. "Thank you sir, one of my officers told me you
didn't have a licence, stole this car, and murdered the owner!."
The man replies, "I bet you the liar told you I was speeding, too!"
2!. dirty joke: A not necessarily well-prepared student sat in his life
science classroom,staring at a question on the final
exam paper!.The question directed: "Give four advantages
of breast milk!." What to write!? He sighed, and began to
scribble whatever came into his head, hoping for the
best:
1!. No need to boil!.
2!. Never goes sour!.
3!. Available whenever necessary!.
So far so good - maybe!. But the exam demanded a fourth
answer!.
Again, what to write!? Once more, he sighed!. He frowned!.
He scowled, then sighed again!.Suddenly, he brightened!.
He grabbed his pen, and triumphantly, he scribbled his
definitive answer:
4!. Available in attractive containers of varying sizes!.
He received an A!.Www@Enter-QA@Com