How are these jokes ( NO OFFENCE MEANT TO ANYONE THEY ARE JUST JOKES ) ?!
Question: How are these jokes ( NO OFFENCE MEANT TO ANYONE THEY ARE JUST JOKES ) !?
A history teacher asks a class full of kids 'What was Churchill famous for!?'
A kid at the back shouts out 'He was the last white man to be called Winston!'
Did you hear about the look-a-like competition in China !?
Everybody won!.
What's the ideal weight for a mother-in-law!?
About 2!.3 pounds including the urn!.
A black man takes a girl home from a nightclub!. She says 'Show me it's true what they say about black men'!.!.!.
So he stabbed her and nicked her purse!.
A man is in a queue at Tesco and sees this busty blonde staring at him, he can't believe she is staring at him, then she starts waving!.
'Excuse me do I know you!?' he asks!.
'Yes I think you are the father of one of my kids' she says!.
The man thinks back and remembers his one act of infidelity and says 'Are you the bird I sh*gged on my stag night, whilst your mate whipped me and your other mate stuck a brush up my ar*e!?'
'No' she replies 'I'm your son's English teacher!'
I said to the wife, 'I thought I saw your name on a loaf of bread today,
but when I looked again it said 'Thick Cut' '
What's the difference between Harold Shipman and Tony Blair!?
Shipman actually did something about NHS waiting lists!.
A bride on her wedding night says to her husband 'I must confess darling,
I was a hooker!'!.
He says 'That's all right, dear!. Your past is your past, but I must admit that I find it quite erotic!. Tell me about it'!.
She replies 'Well, my name was Nigel, and I played for Wigan !'!.
Father Duffy walks into the convent and sees Sister Rose washing the kitchen floor!. He's overcome with desire and pushes her onto the ground!. As he's sh**ging her the Rev Mother comes in!.
'SISTER ROSE!!!' she roars 'Have some respect!. Arch your back girl and keep Father Duffy's b\*lls off the wet floor!!'
Tampax are changing their design they are repacing the string with a piece of tinsel !.!.!.!.
This is for the Christmas period only!
A man says to his wife 'tell me something that will make me happy and sad at the same time'!.
His wife replies 'You've got a bigger kn*b than your brother'
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A kid at the back shouts out 'He was the last white man to be called Winston!'
Did you hear about the look-a-like competition in China !?
Everybody won!.
What's the ideal weight for a mother-in-law!?
About 2!.3 pounds including the urn!.
A black man takes a girl home from a nightclub!. She says 'Show me it's true what they say about black men'!.!.!.
So he stabbed her and nicked her purse!.
A man is in a queue at Tesco and sees this busty blonde staring at him, he can't believe she is staring at him, then she starts waving!.
'Excuse me do I know you!?' he asks!.
'Yes I think you are the father of one of my kids' she says!.
The man thinks back and remembers his one act of infidelity and says 'Are you the bird I sh*gged on my stag night, whilst your mate whipped me and your other mate stuck a brush up my ar*e!?'
'No' she replies 'I'm your son's English teacher!'
I said to the wife, 'I thought I saw your name on a loaf of bread today,
but when I looked again it said 'Thick Cut' '
What's the difference between Harold Shipman and Tony Blair!?
Shipman actually did something about NHS waiting lists!.
A bride on her wedding night says to her husband 'I must confess darling,
I was a hooker!'!.
He says 'That's all right, dear!. Your past is your past, but I must admit that I find it quite erotic!. Tell me about it'!.
She replies 'Well, my name was Nigel, and I played for Wigan !'!.
Father Duffy walks into the convent and sees Sister Rose washing the kitchen floor!. He's overcome with desire and pushes her onto the ground!. As he's sh**ging her the Rev Mother comes in!.
'SISTER ROSE!!!' she roars 'Have some respect!. Arch your back girl and keep Father Duffy's b\*lls off the wet floor!!'
Tampax are changing their design they are repacing the string with a piece of tinsel !.!.!.!.
This is for the Christmas period only!
A man says to his wife 'tell me something that will make me happy and sad at the same time'!.
His wife replies 'You've got a bigger kn*b than your brother'
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Answers:
No offence taken Chris, I thought they were funny and laughed my hat off!. Well done, not heard any of them so caused quite a chuckle!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
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Yes, old material but still funny! Only comment is that they would have been better posted after the watershed hour!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
It's funny how the people who liked it are getting thumbs downs!. I liked most of them, worth a star!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
99% were very very funny
Have a star and 10/10Www@Enter-QA@Com
Have a star and 10/10Www@Enter-QA@Com
hahaha they are hilarious!!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Awesome! hehehehe!.!.!.!.That sure cheered me up today!Www@Enter-QA@Com
I loved them all!
enspecially the English teacher one!Www@Enter-QA@Com
enspecially the English teacher one!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Lol, some of them had me chuckling, especially the one with the blonde in Tesco !Www@Enter-QA@Com
I'm not big on jokes, but those are funny!! How did you come up with them!?!?Www@Enter-QA@Com
Yes some of then were really funny but i then some were just pure random!.!.!.!. a 6 outta 10 i think!!!Www@Enter-QA@Com
lol,ive been seeing your jokes lately,their pretty Good,aand this one was GREAT!,Good Job!Www@Enter-QA@Com
the last one has to be the bestWww@Enter-QA@Com
the last one is the best!.!.!.lolWww@Enter-QA@Com
LOL Www@Enter-QA@Com
LOLWww@Enter-QA@Com
I laughed! Star!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Pretty funny!.
I think I liked the last bestWww@Enter-QA@Com
I think I liked the last bestWww@Enter-QA@Com
Lol they were all amazing :D 11/10Www@Enter-QA@Com
All good apart for the name/bread joke!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
LOL!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
wowWww@Enter-QA@Com
they are all good!! :D
lmao
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lmao
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some of its pretty funny!.!. others im not so sure about!.!. Www@Enter-QA@Com
lol good jokes again today like the last oneWww@Enter-QA@Com
I loved the last one LOL!. ROFL!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
lmao!.!. again today u have cheered me up!.!.!. keep posting jokes u make me laugh -x-Www@Enter-QA@Com
lol!. My favourite joke was about the bread!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
With the exception of the tony blair one (being a yank, that one went over my head) they are offensive and funny!. You did a good job!Www@Enter-QA@Com
These have been posted on here many, many times before!. But they were funny the first few times!.Www@Enter-QA@Com