Here are some Jokes for you...?!

1!. A man hasn't been feeling well, so he goes to his doctor for a complete check-up!. Afterward, the doctor comes out with the results!. "I'm afraid I have some very bad news," the doctor says!. "You're dying, and you don't have much time left!." "Oh, that's terrible!" says the man!. "How long have I got!?" "Ten," the doctor says sadly!. "Ten!?" the man asks!. "Ten what!? Months!? Weeks!? What!?!" The doctor interrupts, "Nine!.!.!."

2!. One day a girl brings home her boyfriend and tells her father she wants to marry him!. After talking to him for while, he tells his daughter she can't do it because he's her half brother!. The same problem happens again four more times! The girl starts to get pissed off!. She goes to her mom and says, "Mom!.!.!. What have you been doing all your life!? Dad's been going around laying every maiden in the town and now I can't marry any of the five guys I like because they have turned out to be my half brothers!!!"

Her mom replies, "Don't worry darling, you can marry any one of them you want, he isn't really your dad!."

3!. An elderly widow and widower were dating for about five years!. The man finally decided to ask her to marry!. She immediately said "yes"!. The next morning when he awoke, he couldn't remember what her answer was! "Was she happy!? I think so, wait, no, she looked at me funny!.!.!." After about an hour of trying to remember to no avail he got on the telephone and gave her a call!. Embarrassed, he admitted that he didn't remember her answer to the marriage proposal!. "Oh", she said, "I'm so glad you called!. I remembered saying 'yes' to someone, but I couldn't remember who it was!."

4!. A man and his wife are driving down the road when a cop pulls them over!. The cop says to the man, "Do you know that you were speeding!?" The man replies, "No sir, I didn't know I was speeding!." The mans wife then yells, "Yes you did, you knew you were speeding I've been telling you to slow down for miles!." "SHUT UP!" the man says to his wife, "Shut the hell up, just sit back and be quite!." Then the cop says, "well, since I've got you pulled over did you know that the tag on your license plate is expired!?" "No Sir" the man replies, "I did not know that" "WHATEVER!" His wife yells, "I've been telling you to go get it up to date for 2 whole months now!" "Shut up" the man yells to his wife again! "Sit back and shut up, mind your own business!" Curios, the cop walks over to the woman's side of the car and asks her, "Does he always talk to you this way!?" "No" she replies, " Only when he's drinking!"

Star if you like the jokes
Have a good night



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