Tell me something funny.. I need a good laugh about now =(?!


Question: Tell me something funny!.!. I need a good laugh about now =(!?
Answers:
A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room!. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we're going down the tracks!."

The mother went nuts and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house!. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS!. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language!."

Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train!. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you!. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one!. We hope you will ride with us again soon!." She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat!. Remember, there is no smoking on the train!. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today!."

As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the b!tch in the kitchen!."

--------------------------------------!.!.!.

Q: What do you call lesbian dinosaurs!?
A: The lickalotopuss and the clitolickumus!.

Q: What do you call a lesbian with 1,000 semiautomatic rifles!?
A: Militia Etheridge!. (I love that one!)

Q: How many lesbians does it take to screw in a light bulb!?
A: Five!. One to change it, two to organize the potluck, one to write a folk song about the empowering experience and one to set up the support group!.

Q: What do you call a lesbian with long fingernails!?
A: Single!.

Q: What do you call an Irish lesbian!?
A: Gaylick!.

Www@Enter-QA@Com

Did you hear about the blonde that!.!.!.

Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope!.

Got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said "2 to 4 years"

Couldn't call 911 because there was no 11 on any phone button!.

When asked what the capital of California was; answered "C"!.

Baked a turkey for 3 days because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 125!.

After losing in a breaststroke swimming competition, complained that the other swimmers were using their arms!.Www@Enter-QA@Com



After numerous rounds of: "We don't even know if Osama is still alive," Osama himself decided to send George Bush a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game!.

Bush opened the letter and it appeared to contain a coded message: 370HSSV-0773H

Bush was baffled, so he e-mailed it to Condi Rice!. Condi and her aides had no clue either, so they sent it to the F B I!. No one could solve it so it went to the C I A, then to NSA!.

With no clue as to its meaning, they eventually asked Britain's MI-6 for help!. MI-6 cabled the White House:

"Tell the President he's holding the message upside down!."Www@Enter-QA@Com

A large, powerfully-built guy meets a woman at a bar!. After a number of drinks, they agree to go back to his place!. As they are making out in the bedroom, he stands up and starts to undress!.

After he takes his shirt off, he flexes his muscular arms and says, "See that, baby!? That''s 1000 pounds of dynamite!" She begins to drool!.

The man drops his pants, strikes a bodybuilder''s pose, and says, referring to his bulging thighs, "See those, baby!? That''s 1000 pounds of dynamite!" She is aching for action at this point!.

Finally, he drops his underpants, and after a quick glance, she grabs her purse and runs screaming to the front door!.

He catches her before she is able to leave and asks, "Why are you in such a hurry to go!?"

She replies, "With 2000 pounds of dynamite and such a short fuse, I was afraid you were about to blow!"

--------------------------------------!.!.!.
At a southern university, students in the psychology program were attending their first class on emotional extremes!.

"Just to establish some parameters," said the professor to the student from Arkansas, "what is the opposite of joy!?"

"Sadness," said the student!.

"And the opposite of depression!?" he asked of the young lady from Oklahoma!.

"Elation," she said!.

"And you sir," he said to the young man from Texas, "what about the opposite of woe!?"

The Texan replied, "Sir, I believe that would be 'giddy up' !."
--------------------------------------!.!.!.

Three women are about to be executed!. One''s a brunette, one''s a redhead, and one''s a blonde!. The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests!. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim!"

Suddenly the brunette yells, "EARTHQUAKE!!!"

Everyone is startled and throws themselves on the ground while she escapes!.

The guard brings the redhead forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests!. She say no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim!"

Suddenly the redhead yells, "TORNADO!!!"

Everyone is startled and looks around for cover while she escapes!.

By now the blonde has it all figured out!. The guard brings her forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests!. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim!"

And the blonde yells, "FIRE!!!"
--------------------------------------!.!.!.

Dick Cheney walks into the Oval Office and sees The President whooping and hollering!.

"What's the matter, Mr!. President!?" The Vice President inquired!.

"Nothing at all, boss!. I just done finished a jigsaw puzzle in record time!" The President beamed!.

"How long did it take you!?"

"Well, the box said '3 to 5 Years' but I did it in a month!"
Www@Enter-QA@Com

Well this a true story!. A few years ago I lived in Woodland Ca!. it was a nice triplex that There were 2 other townhouse apartments beside mine!. I love it there except the neighbor would play loud hip-hop music all night long!. I eventually started calling the cops on him!. he was a small vato named Raberto!. He really thought of himself as a real GANGSA!. Anyway one day I was walking out of the laundry room and he was just coming in from the parking lot!. I must have taken him by surprise because he drew up his hand to his mouth and stood on his toes and screamed like a little girl!. I never laughed so hard in my life!. This bad little gangsta dude was frightened by a housewife and her laundry basket!. Not long after that encounter he moved out!. Hahahaha! But if you want some professional comedy I like this video!.!.!.http://www!.youtube!.com/watch!?v=0AKvRvL5r!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

this guy on youtube is hillarious

http://www!.youtube!.com/watch!?v=1805nDJ_F!.!.!.

watch some of his other videos if you get the chance

here's another one, kinda random though hahaa

http://www!.youtube!.com/watch!?v=zfwRb_XKF!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

I know it's an old one!.!.!. but it's still funny!.
http://www!.youtube!.com/watch!?v=4vuW6tQ02!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

the best week ever website is funny!.
i'm not good at telling jokes!.!.i kind of suck!.!.but SMILE!!!! you're alive!Www@Enter-QA@Com



The answer content post by the user, if contains the copyright content please contact us, we will immediately remove it.
Copyright © 2007 enter-qa.com -   Contact us

Entertainment Categories