Poll: Give your funny Joke 10pts?!
Question: Poll: Give your funny Joke 10pts!?
Mine is
Two old pensioners are taking a trip down memory lane by going back to the place where they first met!.
Sitting at a café, the little old man says, "Remember the first time I met you over 50 years ago!? We left this cafe, went round the corner behind the gas works, and I gave you one from behind!."
"Why, yes, I remember it well, dear," replies the little old lady with a grin!.
"Well, for old time's sake, let's go there again!. and I'll give you one from behind!."
The two pensioners pay their bill and leave the cafe!. A young man sitting next to them has overheard the conversation and smiles to himself, thinking it would be quite amusing to see two old pensioners at it!. He gets up and follows them!. Sure enough, he sees the two pensioners near the gas works!. The little old lady pulls off her knickers and lifts up her dress!.
The old man pulls down his pants and grabs the lady's hips, and the little old lady reaches for the fence!. Well, what follows is 40 minutes of the most athletic sex the man has ever seen!. The little old man is banging away at the little old woman at a pace that can only be described as phenomenal!. Limbs are flying everywhere, the movement is a blur, and they do not stop for a single second!. Finally, they collapse and don't move for an hour!.
Well, the man is stunned!. Never in his life has he ever seen anything that equates to this -- not in the movies, not from his friends, not from his own experiences!.
Reflecting on what he has just seen, he says to himself, "I have to know his secret!. If only I could shag like that now, let alone in 50 years' time!"
The two old pensioners have by this time recovered and dressed themselves!. Plucking up courage, the man approaches the pensioner!.
He says, "Sir, in all my life I have never seen anybody shag like that, particularly at your age!. What's your secret!? Could you shag like that 50 years ago!?"
The pensioner replies, "Son, 50 years ago, that ******* fence wasn't electrified!."
Let's hear yoursWww@Enter-QA@Com
Two old pensioners are taking a trip down memory lane by going back to the place where they first met!.
Sitting at a café, the little old man says, "Remember the first time I met you over 50 years ago!? We left this cafe, went round the corner behind the gas works, and I gave you one from behind!."
"Why, yes, I remember it well, dear," replies the little old lady with a grin!.
"Well, for old time's sake, let's go there again!. and I'll give you one from behind!."
The two pensioners pay their bill and leave the cafe!. A young man sitting next to them has overheard the conversation and smiles to himself, thinking it would be quite amusing to see two old pensioners at it!. He gets up and follows them!. Sure enough, he sees the two pensioners near the gas works!. The little old lady pulls off her knickers and lifts up her dress!.
The old man pulls down his pants and grabs the lady's hips, and the little old lady reaches for the fence!. Well, what follows is 40 minutes of the most athletic sex the man has ever seen!. The little old man is banging away at the little old woman at a pace that can only be described as phenomenal!. Limbs are flying everywhere, the movement is a blur, and they do not stop for a single second!. Finally, they collapse and don't move for an hour!.
Well, the man is stunned!. Never in his life has he ever seen anything that equates to this -- not in the movies, not from his friends, not from his own experiences!.
Reflecting on what he has just seen, he says to himself, "I have to know his secret!. If only I could shag like that now, let alone in 50 years' time!"
The two old pensioners have by this time recovered and dressed themselves!. Plucking up courage, the man approaches the pensioner!.
He says, "Sir, in all my life I have never seen anybody shag like that, particularly at your age!. What's your secret!? Could you shag like that 50 years ago!?"
The pensioner replies, "Son, 50 years ago, that ******* fence wasn't electrified!."
Let's hear yoursWww@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
Lol!. Very funny!. Well, as for mine:
Little Johnny's dog Benji was sick and the boy was afraid that his dad would come back from the vet with bad news!.
As his dad stepped through the door with Benji in his carrier, Johnny rushed to find out what the vet had said!.
"I'm afraid it's not good news, son," said his father!. "The vet reckons Benji's only got another three weeks or so to live!."
Hearing this, Johnny burst into tears!.
"But Benji wouldn't want you to be sad, " said the father, putting a comforting arm around Johnny's shoulder!. "He'd want you to remember all the good times you had together!."
Johnny rubbed his eyes!. "Can we give Benji a funeral!?"
"Sure we can," said his father!.
"Can I invite all my friends!?"
"Of course you can!."
"And can we have cake and ice-cream!?"
"Sure, you can have whatever you want!."
"Dad," said Johnny!. "Can we kill Benji today!?"
--------------------------------------!.!.!.
Teacher: Why are you late!?
Johnny: Because of the sign!.
Teacher: What sign!?
Johnny: The one that says "School Ahead!. Go Slow!." So I did!
--------------------------------------!.!.!.
Little Johnny was going to spend the weekend wit his friend Timmy and he had loaded all his favorite toys into a cart, which he then began pulling the mile or so to Timmy's house!. He was doing fine until he reached a steep hill!.
As he struggled with the cart up the hill, Johnny began swearing!. "This god da#$ thing is so heavy!" he moaned!.
A passing priest ticked him off!. "You shouldn't be swearing, Johnny," said the priest!. "God hears you!. He is everywhere!. He is in the church!. He is on the sidewalk!. He is everywhere!."
Johnny thought for a moment!. "Is he in my wagon!?"
"Yes Johnny, God is in your wagon!."
"Then tell him to get the he#$ out and start pulling!"
--------------------------------------!.!.!.
Little Johnny was overheard by his mother reciting his homework!.
"Two plus two, the son of a bi#$ is four; four plus four, the son of a bi#$ is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a bi#$!.!.!."
"Johnny!" shouted his mother!. "Watch your language! Your not allowed to swear!."
"But, mum," he protested, "that's what the teacher taught us, and she said to recite it loud till we learned it!."
The next day Johnny's mother went straight to the classroom to complain!.
"No, no," the teacher said horrified!. "That's not what I taught them!. They're supposed to say, "two plus two, the sum of which is four!.!.!."
--------------------------------------!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Little Johnny's dog Benji was sick and the boy was afraid that his dad would come back from the vet with bad news!.
As his dad stepped through the door with Benji in his carrier, Johnny rushed to find out what the vet had said!.
"I'm afraid it's not good news, son," said his father!. "The vet reckons Benji's only got another three weeks or so to live!."
Hearing this, Johnny burst into tears!.
"But Benji wouldn't want you to be sad, " said the father, putting a comforting arm around Johnny's shoulder!. "He'd want you to remember all the good times you had together!."
Johnny rubbed his eyes!. "Can we give Benji a funeral!?"
"Sure we can," said his father!.
"Can I invite all my friends!?"
"Of course you can!."
"And can we have cake and ice-cream!?"
"Sure, you can have whatever you want!."
"Dad," said Johnny!. "Can we kill Benji today!?"
--------------------------------------!.!.!.
Teacher: Why are you late!?
Johnny: Because of the sign!.
Teacher: What sign!?
Johnny: The one that says "School Ahead!. Go Slow!." So I did!
--------------------------------------!.!.!.
Little Johnny was going to spend the weekend wit his friend Timmy and he had loaded all his favorite toys into a cart, which he then began pulling the mile or so to Timmy's house!. He was doing fine until he reached a steep hill!.
As he struggled with the cart up the hill, Johnny began swearing!. "This god da#$ thing is so heavy!" he moaned!.
A passing priest ticked him off!. "You shouldn't be swearing, Johnny," said the priest!. "God hears you!. He is everywhere!. He is in the church!. He is on the sidewalk!. He is everywhere!."
Johnny thought for a moment!. "Is he in my wagon!?"
"Yes Johnny, God is in your wagon!."
"Then tell him to get the he#$ out and start pulling!"
--------------------------------------!.!.!.
Little Johnny was overheard by his mother reciting his homework!.
"Two plus two, the son of a bi#$ is four; four plus four, the son of a bi#$ is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a bi#$!.!.!."
"Johnny!" shouted his mother!. "Watch your language! Your not allowed to swear!."
"But, mum," he protested, "that's what the teacher taught us, and she said to recite it loud till we learned it!."
The next day Johnny's mother went straight to the classroom to complain!.
"No, no," the teacher said horrified!. "That's not what I taught them!. They're supposed to say, "two plus two, the sum of which is four!.!.!."
--------------------------------------!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
So we had this hockey tournament last weekend and we won the championship against some team called "Off in the Woods"
Next day when I went to school the teacher asked me what I did this weekend, and I said "Me and my friends BEAT OFF IN THE WOODS!!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
Next day when I went to school the teacher asked me what I did this weekend, and I said "Me and my friends BEAT OFF IN THE WOODS!!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index;!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
H: Honey, go pack your things, i've won in the lottery!
W: Wow! Waht should i bring!?
H: I don't care!. Just get out of my house now!Www@Enter-QA@Com
W: Wow! Waht should i bring!?
H: I don't care!. Just get out of my house now!Www@Enter-QA@Com
OMG that joke is awesome!
I don't know any good ones though! :(
Loads of love xWww@Enter-QA@Com
I don't know any good ones though! :(
Loads of love xWww@Enter-QA@Com
haha funny
& mine is :
0 to 200 in 6 seconds
Bob was in trouble!. He forgot his wedding anniversary!. His wife was
really pissed!.
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"
The next morning he got up early and left for work!. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway!.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house!.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale!.
Bob has been missing since Friday!.
Www@Enter-QA@Com
& mine is :
0 to 200 in 6 seconds
Bob was in trouble!. He forgot his wedding anniversary!. His wife was
really pissed!.
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"
The next morning he got up early and left for work!. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway!.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house!.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale!.
Bob has been missing since Friday!.
Www@Enter-QA@Com
There were three men talking in the pub!. Two of them are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third man remains quiet!. After a while one of the first two turns to the third and says "Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife!?"
The third fellow says "I'll tell you!. Just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees!."
The first two blokes where amazed!. "What happened then!?" they asked!.
"She said 'GET OUT FROM UNDER THE BED AND FIGHT LIKE A MAN!'!."
Www@Enter-QA@Com
The third fellow says "I'll tell you!. Just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees!."
The first two blokes where amazed!. "What happened then!?" they asked!.
"She said 'GET OUT FROM UNDER THE BED AND FIGHT LIKE A MAN!'!."
Www@Enter-QA@Com