10 pts out to person who tells me funniest joke!!?!


Question: 10 pts out to person who tells me funniest joke!!!?
im in seriuos need of good jokes!. all kinds, every kind!. 10 pts to the one who makes me laugh the most!!!!Www@Enter-QA@Com


Answers:
A man had been sunbaking in the nude and he burnt his willy!. The doctor told him to dip it in cold milk!. As he was doing this, the mans blonde wife returns home and says "oohh i always wondered how you re-loaded that thing"!!Www@Enter-QA@Com

A first-grade teacher, Ms!. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students!. The teacher asked, 'Harry, what's your problem !?'

Harry answered, 'I'm too smart for the 1st grade!. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too !'

Ms!. Brooks had had enough!. She took Harry to the principal's office!.

While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was!. The principal told Ms!. Brooks he would give the boy a test!. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave!. She agreed!.


Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test!.

Principal : 'What is 3 x 3 !?'

Harry : '9!.'

Principal : 'What is 6 x 6 !?'

Harry : '36!.'

And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader sh ould know!.

The principal looks at Ms!. Brooks and tells her, 'I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade!.'

Ms!. Brooks says to the principal,' Let me ask him some questions!.'

The principal and Harry both agreed!.

Ms!. Brooks asks, 'What does a cow have four of that I have only two of !?'

Harry, after a moment: 'Legs!.'

Ms Brooks: 'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have !?'

The principal wondered why would she ask such a question !

Harry replied : 'Pockets!.'

Ms!. Brooks : 'What does a dog do that a man steps into !?'

Harry : 'Pants!.'

Ms!. Brooks : What starts with a C , ends with a T , is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid !?'

Harry : ' Coconut!.'

The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open!.

Ms!. Brooks :' What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky !?'
The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, 'Bubble gum!.'

Ms!. Brooks : 'What does a man d o standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs !?'

Harry : 'Shake hands!.'

The principal was trembling!.

Ms!. Brooks : 'What word starts with an ' F ' and ends in ' K ' that means a lot of heat and excitement !?'

Harry : 'Fire truck!.'

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, ' Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong!.!.!.!.!.'Www@Enter-QA@Com

since its almost xmas heres a goodie for you!.

The Christmas Parrot

A few days before Christmas, a man enters a pet store looking for a unique gift for his wife!.

The store manager tells him he has just what he's looking for; a beautiful parrot named Chet that sings Christmas carols!. He brings the husband over to a colorful but quiet bird!. The man agrees that Chet certainly is pretty, but he doesn't seem to be much for singing!. The manager tells him to watch as he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a lighter!.

The manager then clicks the lighter and holds it under Chet's left foot!. Immediately Chet starts singing; "Silent Night, Holy Night!." The husband is very impressed with Chet's singing abilities and ******* as the manager moves the lighter underneath Chet's right foot!. Chet now starts to sing "Jingle Bells, Jingle All the Way!." The husband says Chet is perfect and that he'll take him!.

The husband rushes home to his wife and insists upon giving her this wonderful gift immediately!. He presents Chet and starts to explain the parrot's special talent!. Demonstrating, he holds a lighter under Chet's left foot and the bird sings "Silent Night!." He then moves the lighter under the right foot and Chet lets loose a round of "Jingle Bells!."

The wife is absolutely impressed, and with a mischievous grin asks her husband what happens if he holds the lighter between Chet's legs instead!. Curious the husband moves the lighter between the bird's legs, and the bird begins to sing:

"Chet's Nuts Roasting on an Open Fire!"Www@Enter-QA@Com

A drunk man who smelled like a beer sat down on a subway seat next to a priest!.

The man's tie was stained, his face was smeared with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket!. He opened his newspaper and began to read!. After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked 'Say Father, what causes arthritis!?' The priest replies 'My son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap wicked women, too much alcohol and comtempt for your fellow man' 'Well I'll be darned' the drunk muttered, returning to his newspaper!.

The priest thinking about what he said, nudged the drunk and apologised!. 'I'm sorry to come on so strong!. How long have you had arthritis!?'

'I don't have it, Father!. I was just reading here that the Pope does!.'Www@Enter-QA@Com

The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, "You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket!. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes!?"

"Why!?"

"Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere!."Www@Enter-QA@Com

Lawyer says to Mickey Mouse, "I can not fill out these papers for your divorce sir!."

Mickey replies, "Why Not!?"

The lawyer says "You can't file divorce simply because Minnie has been acting silly!."

Mickey replies, "I didn't say she was acting silly I said she was f****** Goofy!"Www@Enter-QA@Com

A man went to see his doctor!.

"You need to stop masturbating," the doctor said!.

The man asked, "Why!?"

The doctor replied, "Because I''m trying to examine you!"Www@Enter-QA@Com

mother: sara, why are you standing in front of the mirror with your eyes shut!?
sara;i wann knw how i look when i'm sleepingWww@Enter-QA@Com

Teacher:"How come you do not comb your hair!?"
Ah Kow: "No comb, Sir!."
Teacher:"Use your dad's then!."
Ah Kow: "No hair,Sir!."Www@Enter-QA@Com



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