Do you know any good blonde jokes?!
Question: Do you know any good blonde jokes!?
The best one wins 10 points!!! And remember, it is all in good fun!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me!. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started!." Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished!?" The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger!." Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle!. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table!. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger!." He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax!. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then," he sighed, "let's put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box!.
Blond science fair projects
10) Are poisonous snakes really venomous!?
9) Is lighter fluid flammable!?
8) What hurts more: falling off a building, or a cliff!?
7) Are knives sharp!?
6) Can sharks hurt a human!?
5) What happens if I stick my hand in a piranha aquarium!?
4) Can I break my arm hitting it against a wall!?
3) Can I eat broken glass and live!?
2) Can dogs talk!?
1) Are blondes really dumb!?
[b]To Feel Like A Woman[/b] On a Trans-Atlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm!. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning!. One woman in particular loses it!. Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane!. "I'm too young to die!" she wails!. Then she yells, "Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable! No one has ever made me really feel like a woman! Well I've had it! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN!?!?" For a moment there is silence!. Everyone has forgotten their own peril, and they all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane!. Then, a man stands up in the rear of the plane!. "I can make you feel like a woman," he says!. He's gorgeous! Tall, built, with flowing black hair and jet black eyes, he starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time!. No one moves!. The woman is breathing heavily in anticipation as the strange man approaches!. He removes his shirt!. Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches her, and extends the arm holding his shirt to the trembling woman, and whispers: "Iron this!."
[b]To Feel Like A Woman[/b] On a Trans-Atlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm!. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning!. One woman in particular loses it!. Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane!. "I'm too young to die!" she wails!. Then she yells, "Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable! No one has ever made me really feel like a woman! Well I've had it! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN!?!?" For a moment there is silence!. Everyone has forgotten their own peril, and they all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane!. Then, a man stands up in the rear of the plane!. "I can make you feel like a woman," he says!. He's gorgeous! Tall, built, with flowing black hair and jet black eyes, he starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time!. No one moves!. The woman is breathing heavily in anticipation as the strange man approaches!. He removes his shirt!. Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches her, and extends the arm holding his shirt to the trembling woman, and whispers: "Iron this!."
SPEEDING TICKET >A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license!. >She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together!. Yesterday you took my license away, and today you expect me to show it to you!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
Blond science fair projects
10) Are poisonous snakes really venomous!?
9) Is lighter fluid flammable!?
8) What hurts more: falling off a building, or a cliff!?
7) Are knives sharp!?
6) Can sharks hurt a human!?
5) What happens if I stick my hand in a piranha aquarium!?
4) Can I break my arm hitting it against a wall!?
3) Can I eat broken glass and live!?
2) Can dogs talk!?
1) Are blondes really dumb!?
[b]To Feel Like A Woman[/b] On a Trans-Atlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm!. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning!. One woman in particular loses it!. Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane!. "I'm too young to die!" she wails!. Then she yells, "Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable! No one has ever made me really feel like a woman! Well I've had it! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN!?!?" For a moment there is silence!. Everyone has forgotten their own peril, and they all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane!. Then, a man stands up in the rear of the plane!. "I can make you feel like a woman," he says!. He's gorgeous! Tall, built, with flowing black hair and jet black eyes, he starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time!. No one moves!. The woman is breathing heavily in anticipation as the strange man approaches!. He removes his shirt!. Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches her, and extends the arm holding his shirt to the trembling woman, and whispers: "Iron this!."
[b]To Feel Like A Woman[/b] On a Trans-Atlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm!. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning!. One woman in particular loses it!. Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane!. "I'm too young to die!" she wails!. Then she yells, "Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable! No one has ever made me really feel like a woman! Well I've had it! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN!?!?" For a moment there is silence!. Everyone has forgotten their own peril, and they all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane!. Then, a man stands up in the rear of the plane!. "I can make you feel like a woman," he says!. He's gorgeous! Tall, built, with flowing black hair and jet black eyes, he starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time!. No one moves!. The woman is breathing heavily in anticipation as the strange man approaches!. He removes his shirt!. Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches her, and extends the arm holding his shirt to the trembling woman, and whispers: "Iron this!."
SPEEDING TICKET >A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license!. >She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together!. Yesterday you took my license away, and today you expect me to show it to you!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
Blonde Takes The Bus
A blonde was visiting Washington, DC for the first time!. She wanted to see the Capitol building!. Unfortunately, she couldn't find it, so she asked a police officer for directions, "Excuse me, officer, how do I get to the Capitol building!?"
The officer replied, "Wait here at this bus stop for the number 54 bus!. It'll take you right there!." She thanked the officer and he drives off!.
Three hours later the police officer returned to the same area and, sure enough, the blonde is still waiting at the same bus stop!. The officer got out of his car and said, "Excuse me, but to get to the Capitol building, I said to wait here for the number 54 bus!. That was three hours ago!. Why are you still waiting!?"
The blonde replied, "Don't worry, officer, it won't be long now!. The 45th bus just went by!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
A blonde was visiting Washington, DC for the first time!. She wanted to see the Capitol building!. Unfortunately, she couldn't find it, so she asked a police officer for directions, "Excuse me, officer, how do I get to the Capitol building!?"
The officer replied, "Wait here at this bus stop for the number 54 bus!. It'll take you right there!." She thanked the officer and he drives off!.
Three hours later the police officer returned to the same area and, sure enough, the blonde is still waiting at the same bus stop!. The officer got out of his car and said, "Excuse me, but to get to the Capitol building, I said to wait here for the number 54 bus!. That was three hours ago!. Why are you still waiting!?"
The blonde replied, "Don't worry, officer, it won't be long now!. The 45th bus just went by!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake!. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee!. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waiter, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke!?"
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent!. In a
very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,
Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only
fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five
things:
1!. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat!.
2!. The bouncer is a blonde woman!.
3!. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde gal with a black belt in karate!.
4!. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter!.
5!. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler!.
"Now, think about it seriously, Mister!. Do you still wanna tell that joke!?"
The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his
head, and mutters, "No!.!.!. not if I'm gonna have to
explain it five times!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent!. In a
very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,
Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only
fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five
things:
1!. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat!.
2!. The bouncer is a blonde woman!.
3!. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde gal with a black belt in karate!.
4!. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter!.
5!. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler!.
"Now, think about it seriously, Mister!. Do you still wanna tell that joke!?"
The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his
head, and mutters, "No!.!.!. not if I'm gonna have to
explain it five times!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
yeah
3 girls were stranded on an island, a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette!.
one day they a genie appeared and they each got 1 wish
so the redhead says "i wish i was back home"
the brunette says " i wish i was back home"
and the blonde says "im lonely, i wish my friends came back"Www@Enter-QA@Com
3 girls were stranded on an island, a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette!.
one day they a genie appeared and they each got 1 wish
so the redhead says "i wish i was back home"
the brunette says " i wish i was back home"
and the blonde says "im lonely, i wish my friends came back"Www@Enter-QA@Com
So there was this guy blonde who walk into this store and asked the clerk "How much is that microwave!?"!.The clerk says "No i do not sell my stuff to Blondie's!!"!. So the the blonde dude walks out and the next he changed his hair color to black! So he walks into the store and asks "Hi so how much is that microwave!?"!. That same clerk says "I know you are a blonde!"!. He says "How do u know!?", the clerk says "Cause that's not a microwave that's a television!"!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
two blonds are driving by a corn field and the driver (blond) turns off the radio because of a blond joke
she turns with her friend to lookm at the corn field (also blond)
the driver says "i hate it when they tell okes like that"
she sees a blond trying to row a boat through the cornfield
"its people like that that give us our bad name!
"
her friend says
"yeah, if i could swim i would drown her!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
she turns with her friend to lookm at the corn field (also blond)
the driver says "i hate it when they tell okes like that"
she sees a blond trying to row a boat through the cornfield
"its people like that that give us our bad name!
"
her friend says
"yeah, if i could swim i would drown her!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
A blonde goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards!. She says to the clerk, "May I have 50 Christmas stamps!?" The clerk says, "What denomination!?" The blonde says, "God help us!. Has it come to this!? Give me 6 Catholic, 12 Presbyterian, 10 Lutheran and 22 Baptists!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
so a brunette was standing on a rail rode track saying "49 49 49!" over and over again!. a blonde walks by and starts saying it with her!. they hear a train coming and the brunette gets out of the way and says "49 49 49!" the blonde gets hit by the train and the brunette says "50 50 50!!!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
Why did the blonde climb over the glass wall!?
to see what was on the other side!Www@Enter-QA@Com
to see what was on the other side!Www@Enter-QA@Com
broken? that's sooo funnY!Www@Enter-QA@Com
that is cuteWww@Enter-QA@Com