Good Jokes.......................
Question: Good Jokes!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!?
Do you have any good jokes!? None that are racist, sexual or rude!.
No lame ones either!.
Thanks!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
No lame ones either!.
Thanks!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
A Bad Day
One evening a father overheard his son saying his prayers "God bless Mommy, Daddy and Grammy!. Goodbye Grampa!."
Well, the father thought it was strange, but he soon forgot about it!. The next day, the Grandfather died!.
A month later the father heard his sonny saying prayers again: "God bless Mommy!. God bless Daddy!. Goodbye Grammy!." The next day the grandmother died!. Well, the father was getting more than a little woried about the whole situation!.
One week later, the father once again overheard his sons prayers!. "God Bless Mommy!. Good bye Daddy!."
This nearly gave the father a heart attack!. He didn't say anything but he got up early to go to work, so that he would miss the traffic!. He stayed all through lunch and dinner!. Finally after midnight he went home!. He was still alive! When he got home he appologised to his wife!. "I am sorry Honey!. I had a very bad day at work today!."
"You think you've had a bad day!? YOU THINK YOU'VE HAD A BAD DAY!!?" the wife yelled, "The mailman dropped dead on my doorstep this morning!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
One evening a father overheard his son saying his prayers "God bless Mommy, Daddy and Grammy!. Goodbye Grampa!."
Well, the father thought it was strange, but he soon forgot about it!. The next day, the Grandfather died!.
A month later the father heard his sonny saying prayers again: "God bless Mommy!. God bless Daddy!. Goodbye Grammy!." The next day the grandmother died!. Well, the father was getting more than a little woried about the whole situation!.
One week later, the father once again overheard his sons prayers!. "God Bless Mommy!. Good bye Daddy!."
This nearly gave the father a heart attack!. He didn't say anything but he got up early to go to work, so that he would miss the traffic!. He stayed all through lunch and dinner!. Finally after midnight he went home!. He was still alive! When he got home he appologised to his wife!. "I am sorry Honey!. I had a very bad day at work today!."
"You think you've had a bad day!? YOU THINK YOU'VE HAD A BAD DAY!!?" the wife yelled, "The mailman dropped dead on my doorstep this morning!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
This man walks in a bar and says to the bartender, "Hey Joe, how about fixing me up with 8 shots of whiskey and 8 bottles of beer!?"
The Man says, "Well, my son has just come home from college and I found out he's gay!."
Joe says, "Man that's terrible," and gives the man his whiskey and beer!.
Two weeks go by and the same man goes to the bar!.!.!. He walks in and says, "Hey Joe, how about fixing me up with 8 shots of whiskey and 8 bottles of beer!?"
Joe says, "Well hell, what's the matter this time!?"
The man says, "Well my other boy just come home from college and I found out that HE'S gay!."
Joe says, "Man, that's a damn shame," and fixes him up with the beer and whiskey!.
Three weeks go by and the man comes bursting through the doors and says, "Joe, I want you to fix me up with every f*cking drink you got in the house!"
Joe says, "Geez, doesn't anyone in your family love women!?"
The man says, "Yeah, I just found out my wife does!.!.!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
The Man says, "Well, my son has just come home from college and I found out he's gay!."
Joe says, "Man that's terrible," and gives the man his whiskey and beer!.
Two weeks go by and the same man goes to the bar!.!.!. He walks in and says, "Hey Joe, how about fixing me up with 8 shots of whiskey and 8 bottles of beer!?"
Joe says, "Well hell, what's the matter this time!?"
The man says, "Well my other boy just come home from college and I found out that HE'S gay!."
Joe says, "Man, that's a damn shame," and fixes him up with the beer and whiskey!.
Three weeks go by and the man comes bursting through the doors and says, "Joe, I want you to fix me up with every f*cking drink you got in the house!"
Joe says, "Geez, doesn't anyone in your family love women!?"
The man says, "Yeah, I just found out my wife does!.!.!."Www@Enter-QA@Com
One Singh was enjoying the sun at the beach in America !. A lady came asked him, "Are you relaxing!?" Singh answered, " No, I am Banta Singh!."
Another guy came and asked him the same question!. Singh answered, "No No Me Banta Singh!"
Third one came and asked him the same question again!. Singh was totally annoyed and decided to shift his place!.
While walking he saw another Singh soaking in the sun!. He went up to him and asked, "Are you Relaxing!?" The other Singh was a lot more educated and answered, "Yes, I am relaxing!."
The Singh slapped him on his face and said, Stupid, idiot!. Everyone is looking for you and you are sitting over here!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
Another guy came and asked him the same question!. Singh answered, "No No Me Banta Singh!"
Third one came and asked him the same question again!. Singh was totally annoyed and decided to shift his place!.
While walking he saw another Singh soaking in the sun!. He went up to him and asked, "Are you Relaxing!?" The other Singh was a lot more educated and answered, "Yes, I am relaxing!."
The Singh slapped him on his face and said, Stupid, idiot!. Everyone is looking for you and you are sitting over here!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
Paris Hilton wanted to go to med-school to prove to everyone that she was smart!. Unfortunately, there were many medical terms that were too confusing for her:
Medical Term - What Paris Thought
———— ——————
Artery — Study of paintings
Bacteria — Back door of cafeteria
Barium — What doctors do when treatment fails
Bowel — Letter like A!.E!.I!.O!.U
Caesarean section — District in Rome
Cat scan — Searching for kitty
Cauterize — Made eye contact with her
Colic — Sheep dog
Coma — A punctuation mark
Congenital — Friendly
D&C — Where Washington is
Diarrhea — Journal of daily events
Dilate — To live long
Enema — Not a friend
Fester — Quicker
Fibula — A small lie
G!.I!. Series — Soldiers’ ball game
Grippe — Suitcase
Hangnail — Coathook
Impotent — Distinguished, well known
Intense pain — Torture in a teepee
Labor pain — Got hurt at work
Medical staff — Doctor’s cane
Morbid — Higher offer
Nitrate — Cheaper than day rate
Node — Was aware of
Outpatient — Person who had fainted
Pelvis — Cousin of Elvis
Post operative — Letter carrier
Protein — Favoring young people
Rectum — It almost killed him
Recovery room — Place to do upholstery
Rheumatic — Amorous
Scar — Rolled tobacco leaf
Secretion — Hiding anything
Seizure — Roman emperor
Serology — Study of knighthood
Tablet — Small table
Terminal illness — Sickness at airport
Tibia — Country in North Africa
Tumor — An extra pair
Urine — Opposite of “you’re out”
Varicose — Located nearby
Vein — ConceitedWww@Enter-QA@Com
Medical Term - What Paris Thought
———— ——————
Artery — Study of paintings
Bacteria — Back door of cafeteria
Barium — What doctors do when treatment fails
Bowel — Letter like A!.E!.I!.O!.U
Caesarean section — District in Rome
Cat scan — Searching for kitty
Cauterize — Made eye contact with her
Colic — Sheep dog
Coma — A punctuation mark
Congenital — Friendly
D&C — Where Washington is
Diarrhea — Journal of daily events
Dilate — To live long
Enema — Not a friend
Fester — Quicker
Fibula — A small lie
G!.I!. Series — Soldiers’ ball game
Grippe — Suitcase
Hangnail — Coathook
Impotent — Distinguished, well known
Intense pain — Torture in a teepee
Labor pain — Got hurt at work
Medical staff — Doctor’s cane
Morbid — Higher offer
Nitrate — Cheaper than day rate
Node — Was aware of
Outpatient — Person who had fainted
Pelvis — Cousin of Elvis
Post operative — Letter carrier
Protein — Favoring young people
Rectum — It almost killed him
Recovery room — Place to do upholstery
Rheumatic — Amorous
Scar — Rolled tobacco leaf
Secretion — Hiding anything
Seizure — Roman emperor
Serology — Study of knighthood
Tablet — Small table
Terminal illness — Sickness at airport
Tibia — Country in North Africa
Tumor — An extra pair
Urine — Opposite of “you’re out”
Varicose — Located nearby
Vein — ConceitedWww@Enter-QA@Com
That pretty much rules out most jokes!. Here's one that had me giggling for days:
René Descartes was sitting in a bar when the bartender asked, "Another beer!?"
Descartes replied, "I think not!" and promptly disappeared!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
René Descartes was sitting in a bar when the bartender asked, "Another beer!?"
Descartes replied, "I think not!" and promptly disappeared!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
So a guy sees a lady!.!.as she passed he said "excuse me but haven't I seen you some place before!?"
She said yes, that is why I don't got there anymoreWww@Enter-QA@Com
She said yes, that is why I don't got there anymoreWww@Enter-QA@Com
im sorry but if jokes arent racist sexual or rude then they are pretty much lameWww@Enter-QA@Com
you see what kind of jokes you getWww@Enter-QA@Com