I'm bored...tell me a joke. :)?!

Question: I'm bored!.!.!.tell me a joke!. :)!?
i've got one for you!.
i dunno if you've heard it or not because it is pretty old, but i thought it was kinda cool!.

a pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel sticking out of his pants!. he goes up to the counter and asks for a drink!.
the bartender goes, "do you mind me asking why you have a steering wheel sticking out of your pants," and the pirate goes, "arrr! it's driving me nuts!!!"

here's another one!.

what did the egg say to the pot of boiling water!?
----it may take me a minute to get hard because i just got layed!.

wow, i'm super lame!.
anyways, entertain me!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

There once was pirate captain who, whenever it looked like a battle would be imminent would change into a red shirt!. After observing this behavior for a few months, one of the crew members asked him what it meant!.

"It's in case I get shot!. I don't want you crew members to see blood and freak out!."

"That's very sensible, sir!." At that moment, the crew member spotted eight hostile ships on the horizon!. The captain all of a sudden looked very concerned!.

"Get my brown pants!."


After numerous rounds of: "We don't even know if Osama is still alive," Osama himself decided to send George Bush a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game!.

Bush opened the letter and it appeared to contain a coded message: 370HSSV-0773H

Bush was baffled, so he e-mailed it to Condi Rice!. Condi and her aides had no clue either, so they sent it to the F B I!. No one could solve it so it went to the C I A, then to NSA!.

With no clue as to its meaning, they eventually asked Britain's MI-6 for help!. MI-6 cabled the White House:

"Tell the President he's holding the message upside down!."Www@Enter-QA@Com

Maybe this one is old too, I don't know, but it's funny!.!.

A married couple went to an art gallery!. They saw a picture of a naked woman with all her privates covered with leaves!. The wife doesn't like and moves on but the husband is still looking!. The wife asks, "What are you waiting for!?" The husband replies, "Autumn!."Www@Enter-QA@Com

A guy walks into the doctors office with a duck on his head!. The doctor says how can I help you !? The duck answers : Hey doc can you help me get this guy off my *** !?Www@Enter-QA@Com

There was this woman who was desperate to meet a compANIon!.
She went to single bars, singles dances etc!., but she could never meet anyone who would go on a date with her, much less sleep with her!. So in her desperation she went to see a sex doctor, named Dr!. Chang!.
She asked Dr!. Chang, "Doctor, please help me find out what's wrong with me!"
So Dr!. Chang said, "Take off all yu cwothes!." So she did!. Then he said, "Now, get on yu hands and knees and crawl weal fas away frum me, den craw weal fas back to me!." So the young lady did!.
Dr!. Chang looked at her said, "I know what wong with yu!.!.!. Yu got weal bad case of Zachary disease!"
The lady asked, "What the heck is that!?!"
Dr!. Chang replied, "Dat's wen yu face lok zachary like yur butt"!Www@Enter-QA@Com

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