How many mags are acceptable?!

How many mags are acceptable?

I'm begining to feel like the princess and the pea

Jesus that's an awful lot of porn. What you do is this:

Obviously you have so much porn because you like porn and can't bear to throw it away. So invest in a scanner and scan it all to your hard drive. You'll probably need to buy an extra hard drive too. Think of all the fond memories you'll recall as you scan all your porn -- "Oh yeah, I remember wankin' to that girl two years ago!" Sure it'll be time consuming, but it'll free up lots of space (for more porn).

Then what you do is, first off, you get the ones that don't have pages stuck together and you sell them. Don't expect too much money, because if the pages aren't stuck together you obviously didn't like the porn and neither will anyone else. Still, you might bring in some extra cash (for more porn).

Then the grand finale: You take the magazines that you can't sell and you tear the sheets out one by one. When Christmas Eve rolls around, rent a plane or helicopter and fly over your town, emptying box after box of porn magazines out into the winter sky. Now that's a Christmas gift everyone can enjoy! Especially the homeless people who are braving the winter cold sleeping under bridges -- your porn will help them "keep warm" at night. It also helps if you do it over the rich areas of town. As you know, the upper classes are very repressed, so they don't buy a lot of porn like they might want to. Imagine the smile on their faces as they look out their window and see that it's raining porn -- hallelujah!