Funniest movie quotes of all time?!
Question: Anything from Suberbad kills me.
Answers: Anything from Suberbad kills me.
Ace Ventura: Pet Detective
If I'm not back in five minutes... wait longer!
Ace Ventura: Pet Detective
Lois: How would you like me to make your life a living hell?
Ace Ventura: Well, I'm not really ready for a relationship, Lois, but thank you for asking. Hey, maybe I'll give you a call sometime. Your number's still 911? All righty then.
The Addams Family
Pugsley: We're not shy!
Wednesday: We're contagious.
Addams Family Values
(Gomez refers to the girl popping out of the cake at a bachelor party)
Was she in there before you baked it?
Addams Family Values
Gomez: Children, why do you hate the baby?
Pugsley: We don't hate him. We just wanna play with him.
Wednesday: Especially his head.
Addams Family Values
Little Girl: ...and then Mommy kissed Daddy, and the angel told the stork, and the stork flew down from heaven, and put the diamond in the cabbage patch, and the diamond turned into a baby!
Pugsley: Our parents are having a baby too.
Wednesday: They had sex.
Airplane
There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
Animal Crackers
Spaulding: (to two ladies) Let's get married!
Mrs. Rittenhouse: The three of us? Why, that's bigamy!
Spaulding: Yes! And it's big of me, too!
Arthur
I'm so rich, I wish I had a dime for every dime I have.
Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery
As long as people are still having premarital sex with many anonymous partners while at the same time experimenting with mind-expanding drugs in a consequence free environment, I'll be sound as a pound!
'ahhh,how do you like them apples''
"thats my boy he's pry blow jobbin her" -superbad
"its gonna kick athh (lisp)"-40 yr old virgin
Go Away! Baitin!
"What are you, people? On dope?" ..mr head from fast times at ridgemont high
"Do the chickens have large talons?"
Napoleon Dynamite
i agree - i love the home ec scene!
funniest to me are ones from My Cousin Vinny and also when Clark W. Griswald rants about his boss during the xmas bonus/jelly of the month club scene from christmas vacation! gets me everytime. also - slater from dazed and confused. are you cool man? haha!
"Don't call me Shirley" (surely) Airplane
When the F**K did we get ice cream?
it isn't really funny it's more like adorable!
but here it is:
"Why do you want to marry me anyway"
"So i can kiss you anytime i want"
-Sweet home alabama
There are so many! But i love the part in Mean girls where the plastics are sat in the canteen and Karen says to Cady "If your from Africa, why are you white?"
Hi, I'm Pussy Galore-----I'll bet you are! James Bond
Officer- " license and registration meow "
Motorist- " did you just say meow?"
Officer- " Meow, I did not say meow!!"
We have no food, no jobs, OUR PET'S HEADS ARE FALLING OFF!!!!!"
- Dumb and Dumber
French Soldier: I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.
Sir Galahad: Is there someone else up there we can talk to?
French Soldier: No, now go away or I shall taunt you a second time.
- Holy Grail
Would you like to come over for a cup of coffee?
Not even if Jesus was pouring it.
Boomerang
ohhhh **** i got you good you F*ckEr !!!!
super troopers!!! greatttt movie
Liar Liar "i'm kicking my ***! do ya mind?"
i am Mc'lovin
killed ya didn't i
ha ha ha ha
the price is wrong/happy gilmore
when the f*ck we get ice cream/the ringer
theres sh*t everywhere/dumb and dumberer
Just about anything from "Steel Magnolias".
Ouiser Boudreaux: "This is it, I've found it, I'm in hell."
50,000 people die each day.... why can't you be one of them.
can't remember the movie it was in.
"Whats your name sir?.........(PUKES).......He said his name is RALLLLLLLLLLLLLLPH"
.........from Cheech & Chongs Up in smoke!!!!!!!!!!!
yippie Ki-yay mother f****er- Die Hard
when you gotta go you gotta go- Jurassic Park
I'll bite your kneecaps off!- Holy Grail
"We broke up...... She gave me some sh*t about me not listening to her. I don't know I really wasn't paying attention" Dumb and Dumber
"So, you think you could out-clever us French folk with your silly knees-bent running about advancing behavior?! I wave my private parts at your aunties, you cheesy lot of second hand electric donkey-bottom biters. " Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Aguado: Homicide, Ventura. Now how ya gonna solve that one?
Ace Ventura: Good question, Aguado. First, I'd establish a motive. In this case the killer saw the size of the bug's DICK and became insanely jealous. Then I'd lose 30 pounds... PORKIN' his wife.
...and from Office Space....
Milton: "[muttering] F... C... V..."
Lumberg: "Hi, Milton. What's happening?"
Milton: "I was-- I-I-- I didn't receive my paycheck this week."
Lumberg: "Uh, you're going to have to talk to Payroll about that."
Milton: "I did and they said that--"
Lumberg: "Milt, we're going to need you to go ahead and move you downstairs into storage B."
Milton: "No, I-I was told I could not--"
Lumberg: "We have some new people coming in..."
Milton: "No. There's--"
Lumberg: "...and we need all the space we can get."
Milton: "But there's no space--"
Lumberg: "So if you could just go ahead and pack up your stuff and move it down there..."
Milton: "But, n--"
Lumberg: ...that would be terrific."
Milton: "I-I was told..."
Lumberg: "Mm-kay?"
Milton: "...I could stay. Excuse me. I believe you have my stapler. I-- Mmm."
Jules: ...plus, you scratch our backs; we'll scratch yours.
Seth: Well, Jules. The funny thing about my back is, is that it's located on my c*ck.
(awkward silence)
Seth: so you do want alcohol or you don't?
"and by the time college rolls around, i'll be like the iron chef of pounding vag." ~Superbad
Chris-"You four-eyed pile of sh!t"
Teddy-"A pile of sh!t has a thousand eyes!"
Vern- This isn't funny. What am I supposed to eat?
Teddy- Why don't you cook your dick?
Chris- It'd be a small meal!
~Stand By Me~
From Talladega Nights
(Doing a commercial) "Hi, I'm Ricky Bobby! If you don't chew Big Red gum, then F**k You!"
Also,
"Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?" is a totally under-rated comedy. Every line is funny if you listen carefully. Example:
Father to son~ "Thank God your Mammy died given' birth! If she'da' seen ya', she'da' died of shame!"
Anything from Monty Python and the Holy Grail:
You're mother is a hamster and you're father smells of elderberries!
Help! Help! I'm being repressed!
And even though it's a TV show, there were some hilarious quotes in Buffy when Spike and Angel pout about each other.
"That's great. Everyone's got a soul now. You know, I started it. The whole having a soul. Before it was all the cool new thing."