What is your opinion on this verse I wrote?!
Question: in the middle of a battle aim true for the head
take no prisoners but I never leave 'em all dead
instead I'd rather leave a man alive to tell the story
'cause I'm all about leavin' a legacy filled with glory
but the battle field is gory, the future's hard to foresee
so I prepare myself with stealth for my enemies come to destroy me.
like ali baba to his forty,or caesar was to rome,
atilla to the huns so is Lazarus to the throne.
let it be known.....that I intend to defend
my rightfull title of king untill the bitter end.
so I rally up my men, drunken masters march again.
hell hath no fury like the one that we will send
relentless scourge with no end, 'till we dictate the finish
watch as your numbers dwindle and diminish
when we combine all fronts: American, Asian, and English
the outcome's apparent when the flames are extinguished
you can spin this, however you want we don't care
we're suited up and prepared for lyrical warfare
Answers: in the middle of a battle aim true for the head
take no prisoners but I never leave 'em all dead
instead I'd rather leave a man alive to tell the story
'cause I'm all about leavin' a legacy filled with glory
but the battle field is gory, the future's hard to foresee
so I prepare myself with stealth for my enemies come to destroy me.
like ali baba to his forty,or caesar was to rome,
atilla to the huns so is Lazarus to the throne.
let it be known.....that I intend to defend
my rightfull title of king untill the bitter end.
so I rally up my men, drunken masters march again.
hell hath no fury like the one that we will send
relentless scourge with no end, 'till we dictate the finish
watch as your numbers dwindle and diminish
when we combine all fronts: American, Asian, and English
the outcome's apparent when the flames are extinguished
you can spin this, however you want we don't care
we're suited up and prepared for lyrical warfare
Not at all bad. Pretty fxkking good actually.
This line however:
['cause I'm all about leavin' a legacy filled with glory]
i'd try cutting it down a bit. It just seems awkward when you're reading it aloud.
Besides that. wow. you have a sik name btw.
its coo for what it is....you might want to add complexity in wordplay, maybe stup up the vocabulary and find a little more cleverness in the content....
just an honest opinion
no hate
it's good.. not real good yet.. if you drop more lines with better vocab. then it will be pretty good. i've been online rapping for a while now and this would do pretty well on some sites.. nice job fam.
it's kinda like a history lesson but it has some good rhymes. good start.
its good kid but the part
(atilla to the huns so is Lazarus to the throne)
seems like u gonna go n straight up beat the kings of hip-hop for the throne. just keep it simple for right now
i lke it buti wuldnt post it on here cus ppl may steal it
:O so dontpublish the rest!!!
its gd though :P