If you were in a bad marriage for several years, and you've given everything!
Question: If you were in a bad marriage for several years, and you've given everything to try to salvage it, would you stay in it because several peopes' lives, in both families, would be turned upside down if you left, or would you just go, and never mind them ?
Answers: If you were in a bad marriage for several years, and you've given everything to try to salvage it, would you stay in it because several peopes' lives, in both families, would be turned upside down if you left, or would you just go, and never mind them ?
It takes two to make a marriage work.
I would not be able to stay even knowing it would upset others lives. Those who know and love me would want me to be happy and not stay in a marriage that brings me only sadness.
A marriage is not good if you are miserable and there is no love. Who would want you to live like that?
It would have to depend upon how bad it is. If there is abuse... if someone is getting beaten... then they need to get out and don't look back. If they have just "lost that lovin' feeling," maybe therapy would help.
Been there, done that & I kicked his behind to the curb
I suggest you worry about your happiness. At the end of the day they will be happy while you'll be crying yourself to sleep. So you need to consider which is more important. Your well-being and peice of mind or theirs
It's tough to say, but I think you have to live your life... if you've given all you can and honestly made an effort to salvage it, but it isn't working, it may be time to go... but I'm sure it would not be easy.
I have said It once, and i'll say it again. leave. if you really have given it you're all, and you have gotton nothing in return, that should tell you something! it sure would me! I don't need to much of a push to take a hint! neither should you.
Divorce is always hard. My Ex-husbands family missed me and they never accepted the next lady he married. That marriage lasted only 3 three years. He was abusive and I did what I had to do. His family knew he was abusive. If they could have gotten rid of him and kept me they would have. I stayed in touch for years. But the marriage had to go.
that's a tough question. First off, I'd like to say that I would be doing everything i could to salvage it. i dont believe in divorce. i think it does irrepairable harm to children of the marriagethat they may have to become familiar with the inside of a therapists office. However, I do recognize that sometimes it is more beneficial to end a marriage than to continue on for the children's sake. Sometimes it may be so bad that it does more harm than good by staying together. People just have to realize when they reach that point. Hopefully non of us should ever experience such a thing.
I stayed in a bad marriage for fear of how others would feel and react. At some point though you have to think of yourself and do what makes you happy. Life is too short to be unhappy all the time.
My friend What Would Jesus Do ?
What makes it bad ?
Have the vows been broken ? Mentally or Physically ?
Ask yourself this if them people who it concerns really knew the true facts of your marriage would they want you to stay to keep them happy or would they tell you to do what you know to be right for yourself I think your a very good man and I trust you to do the right thing for yourself and if you need a friend you know I'm willing to listen. Bx
If you've exhasted all means of trying to make this work. Then I would leave and put It In God's hands. The people you would be hurting In these other families aren't there when the door closes when no one else Is around. How can staying In a love-less marriage be benefical for anyone ?
God hates divorce,but sometimes that's you're only choice. If you still love this person then I would pray for God to change their heart. If It doesn't then move on. I would seek God on this matter. Blessings to you and may God provide you with the strength needed for your decision.
COunt,
Sometimes we have to do what will benefit all of those involved. I love someone who is in this situation. He has kids and grandkids and they would suffer and that cannot be. It is better to move on and walk away from happiness for the happiness of others. I am only one and can suffer and not have him suffer through the misery of loosing his family
good question , it happened to me , i stayed for many unhappy years with my ex , because i didn't want the children to be without their father ,i was so miserable ,all we did was argue and when we weren't arguing there were many uncomfortable silences . it affected the children in a big way ,i never knew what mood he would come home form work in, until one day i decided enough was enough.,and i left , i could not go on in life hoping things would change because we both knew it was not going to happen , we were both wasting each ohers time ,we just feel out of love
so to cut a long story short , you have do what makes you happy ,only knowing a little bit about you from previous questions and answers , i know you are desperately unhappy ,and your heart belongs to someone else ,everyone deserves some happiness , the people around you yes it may turn their lifes upside down , but its your life afterall .like the old saying goes "walk a mile in my shoes" then judge me good luck xxx
God is the foundation of my marriage that is why I hold on as tightly as possible. There have been many times I have been tempted to "leave" but I know that I have no real reason to. The world will say you should leave if you do not love the person anymore-- that is so pathetic! We CHOOSE to love others. And definately our spouses! God can make a marriage work, if He is in the middle of it-- may take time, but I know and trust HIM to restore my own marriage....it needs A LOT of work....I just try my best to look to God and what His word says every single time I feel that need to just get up and leave.
At the end of the day...If I had tried every thing and noting was working...to save my sanity...I would leave regardless.
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You only have one life honey.....live it!!
Stay in it because God says there's no reason to EVER divorce someone EXCEPT for unmarital faithlessness.
Love. That's what marriage is all about. You'd have no reason to leave.
if the two people in the marriage are not happy....how can those that care about them be happy?? Y'all would just be living a lie...what kind of life is that?? Need to sit those important to you down and explain what you can to them...they don't need all the gory details...but leave...let it go...move on and find happiness.
This is happening to me right now...and for the moment I am staying! I have 2 children to think about and above all...I don't want them to be hurt because they love their father very much! So I stay and I suffer in silence...for them!!! =/
The people outside the marriage cannot be worried about if there is ABUSE. I personally tried marriage counceling three times and my ex quit going all three times. I would and did walk out and never look back because of the abuse.
I am really a poor one to answer this but it has been kind of bad for me for two years now-but i stay because I don't want to upset my sons life..The person in my life has a lot of control issues...
Ditto to what Fickle 1 said exactly only dif'rce is I have 3 :( sad...
I don't want to hurt them...
Personally, I've never been married. But there's a friend of the family who is currently in this position. She has been married for several years. Her husband drinks and yells. She has...two or three sons. And her husband has turned all of them against her. They are each grown, but they disrespect their mother. She sleeps in a separate room from her husband, she only makes phone calls when her husband's at work, and she tries to leave the house as much as possible.
But the amazing thing about this woman is, she loves the Lord more than I've ever seen in anyone else. She is the most spiritual person I've ever met, and you can tell by the glow in her eyes.
She goes to church as much as she possibly can. Her husband doesn't.
She has been in this miserable relationship for many, many years. But she chooses not to get a divorce. She loves God too much to leave. She has read her Bible, and she knows that the Lord doesn't like divorce.
The Lord is working in many miraculous ways in her life. God has blessed her with a heart filled with love. And she passes it out to everyone she greets.
I'm not telling you any direct choices, although you may be able to tell what I'm hinting at. I'm just giving you the story of a family friend who has suffered greatly. You make the choice from here.
well a bad marriage takes two people to contribute to it being bad, just as a good marriage takes two people to contribute to it being good.
Honestly, if the scenario is just as you mentioned above: I'd get a bloody divorce. And never mind about all of them.
Worst thing a person can do, is stay in a situation that is bringing them nothing but misery and sorrow to appease the feelings of other people of whom it doesn't concern.
It's one thing to stay through difficulties and try to work something out for the sake of other people; it's another thing entirely to stay in an unhealthy situation because you're afraid of what people might say, or are being given the guilt trip.
Honestly, as i said.... I'd be out that door and never look back.
Knowing, that I wasn't the loser, and i did what i could for a while, and it wasn't my problem anymore.
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