Why should I want to have kids?!


Question: It's not that I think I'd be a mad mom... I just don't really like the idea of having to wake up because a kid won't shut up, or it's sick or something, when all I want is to sleep and live MY life. I'm not selfish, even if that's what it sounds like. I just don't want to have to stop or put a pause in my life because of a child. Plus, I just really don't see what the big deal is with kids. I've never seen what's so great about them.

And please, I don't want any parents telling me how great their kids are... Thank you.


Answers: It's not that I think I'd be a mad mom... I just don't really like the idea of having to wake up because a kid won't shut up, or it's sick or something, when all I want is to sleep and live MY life. I'm not selfish, even if that's what it sounds like. I just don't want to have to stop or put a pause in my life because of a child. Plus, I just really don't see what the big deal is with kids. I've never seen what's so great about them.

And please, I don't want any parents telling me how great their kids are... Thank you.

I'm the same way, it's not that I don't want kids, but at this time in my life i'm happy having my own time. You aren't being selfish you are being realistic. So many people have kids and then go.....oh I want some me time!! Uhhh YEAH, maybe because thats what kids do....take all your time.

I think later on when you are ready, then you'll know that is the time for you. Til then why worry about it!?

Is your bf or something saying you should have a baby?

You simply won't understand until you have your own. There is not other way to explain it.

Making them is pretty fun.

ONCE YOU HAVE THEM YOULL UNDERSTAND

If you post this question, you seem to be very doubtful about having them, don't you think ???

If you enjoy frustration and heartache, have kids.

You should want to have kids because you want kids.
There's nothing wrong with not wanting them. I also don't want them for the same reasons as you and proudly declare my selfishness. It's your life, do what you will with it.

You don't have to want kids.

Hun if you don't want it you don't want it and I'm a parent by the way :)

One important thing...don't have kids.

I have 2 nephews, and they're torture. Having real kids would be like death to me...kids are just bad.

I am with you girl. It's society that makes us feel like we should feel all maternal and crap. And if one more person asks "so when are you two gonna get started" I will scream!

If you don't like them you can always sell them

Ok I'm a parent and I do have to tell you that MY kid is wonderful.

But it is stressful, it drastically changes your life, you lose a lot of sleep and time, and costs a ton of money.

But damn I love my little girl and I wouldn't change a thing.

Then don't have them, with your attitude the world would be better if you didn't have any!

its hard to explain but youll never know the overwhelming love you feel until your holding your newborn baby in your arms after you have that love you dont care about your life being on hold or about them crying your just thankful you have them, i dont know how i lived before without my daughter because she is my life

everyone should NOT have kids, that includes you, no big deal. I know plenty of adults who decided not to have kids, they're just as happy as the people with kids.

hey we should get together am the same attitude lol

I don't have any kids either.
It's great!
My wife and I have disposable cash, take great vacations and can make love in the middle of the day without someone interrupting us.

The best part is we hardly get sick compared to our friends that have kids and there's no sticky finger prints on my toys!

Wellll it seems to me that there is very little point to your question, unless you are wanting someone to try and convince you otherwise, you seem pretty hell bent on your reasons. You don't have to have kids, many people don't, women aren't expected to have children anymore...well in some parts of the country...plus honestly, you probably shouldn't have children with the reasons you listed, it doesn't mean you're a bad, selfish person, it means that you aren't ready to have kids or aren't the type of person to have kids...just live your life and do what you want to do and screw those who try to convince you what is right for them....

I know of a few women that chose not to have children and I didn't see anything wrong with it, but why do you not want for parents to tell you how great their children are? Children are our future, and if you don't want to spend the time with them, then your making a wise choice.

A. have four or five kids
B. Don't have kids
C. Adopt a bunch of kids

I think you just might wana choose B.
but if you ever find that you are pregnant i would advise you to keep it. Most people I know like you turned out blessing the day they became parents, but they sure didnt want them at the start. oh by the way only worrying about yourself seems ideal, but you find it is anything but. Let me add I don;t think it is selfish of you either

Contrary to popular commentary, it's actually UNSELFISH to decide not to have kids. Look at the reasons most people cite as why they want or have kids: to carry on the family name, to have someone to love, to have someone take care of me in my old age. THOSE are SELFISH reasons. I applaud you for soul-searching and asking these questions. I firmly believe most women do not even think about NOT having babies, they just think it automatically comes with the territory. Men too. And how many of these people are competent parents? If you don't feel the urge, don't do it and don't let ANYONE tell you there is anything wrong with it. The planet is overpopulated and most people have kids for the wrong reasons anyway. And who suffers? These poor children who did not ask to be brought into this world. I say good for you. If you change your mind, you change your mind. There are plenty of ways you can contribute to help the children who are already here and need mentors if you choose. Bear in mind it does become more of an issue as you grow older and the pressure from others gets worse...but remain true to yourself.

I understand you perfectly...I'm a guy, have been happily married for 2 and a half years and 4 months ago we had no intention of having kids, at lease not for a while...Anyway when my wife found out she's pregnent it was a shock to us...but after a couple of weeks when the news settles down its different..Today she is 5 months pregnent and i'm really excited about it...I'm scared how the baby will change the way i live my life but you can always adapt to the situation....do not think i'm a 100 year old guy i'm just in my late 20s :)

You don't have to want kids. I hate when people say women who don't have kids are selfish. I'd much rather you did not bother, rather than they are neglected or unloved, or uncared for. (Not to say that you'd be like that, but you get my drift, I'm sure)! Good for you, keep poppin' those pills!!

Not everyone wants them, and that's fine nothing wrong with that. the funny things they do and how they seem to make you smile for no reason definitely makes it worth it too have them in your life. It's definitely hard to raise them that's why single moms are the strongest people on the face of the earth.I didn't want children when my son was born because I was only 18 but I think back to teaching him to ride a bike when he was three, or playing in the pool with him when he was a baby, or taking him to soccer practice and going to his games, any memory of him makes me want to live everyday, even though Our relationship is a little strained right now, because I could have been A better father but there is no joy greater than children.

It's a problem when people have children just to fit into the social norm. I believe that when you feel so adamantly about it, then you're doing a favor by not having them.

However; you're still very young, and things may change.

I was a little jetsetter, loving the single life had my own apt, good govt job and it all went to H*ll when the biological clock struck and I swore I'd never ever get married never mind have kids and here I am and baking cookies too bleah!

Not wanting children is a perfectly normal and acceptable choice. For some people having children is the most fulfilling thing they could do, for others relationships, careers, philanthropy or other life experiences are more desirable and important. We each have our own priorities.

Despite societal and cultural pressures and expectations, if you are not 100% committed to having a child then you really shouldn't. People who don't really want children but have them anyway, or people who have children before they are ready does not do anything positive for the child or the parents in the long run.

There's nothing selfish about making the responsible choice of not having a child that you are not prepared for.

There are many "childfree" communities out there where you can meet and socialize with like minded people who do not have any desire to have children and would rather focus on other things in life.

The external pressures to have children can really be immense, but ultimately you need to do what is right for you, and that might be remaining childfree. :)

Sonia Taits : What children take from us, they give…We become people who feel more deeply, question more deeply, hurt more deeply, and love more deeply.

:o)

it doesn't sound like you do. it really shouldn't matter what i have to say. whatever floats your boat. you only know what's best for you.

my two cents for what it's worth-
frankly, i was never one to want children either. my sister had her first child and i see how much joy he brings her. i have found new respect for them. but, i still don't know. maybe or maybe not. i try not to think about it.

You shouldn't. I for one do not hold to the idea that having children is a natural desire. I think there are some who just do not have that desire!

You know I love you no matter what. So here is my answer. Knowing you dont want kids is great. It is better to decide you do not want to be a mother now, then after your already pregnant or have a child. Being a Mommy is a lot of work. I take a lot of pride in what I do. But it really is not for everyone. Not every woman HAS to have the Mommy bug in them. I wouldnt let anyone tell you you have something wrong with you just because you dont want a baby. Just tell them if they want to be breeders thats fine, but you prefer not to.



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