Drunk Stories! What's your funniest?!
Question: I asked this question a couple weeks ago and got some great answers..
Care to share your funniest DRUNK story?
Answers: I asked this question a couple weeks ago and got some great answers..
Care to share your funniest DRUNK story?
I woke up, fully clothed in a bed, alone, in a house I did not recognize. I went downstairs, still buzzing, into the kitchen and poured myself a bowl of Fruity Pebbles. When I finished eating them, I went to the bathroom to find one of those old-fashioned claw-foot tubs.
Bear in mind that, at this point, I still hadn't seen another soul.
I thought, "Claw-foot tub. Cool. I then filled it with hot water, got undressed, and climbed in. While I was soaking, there was a knock at the door.
I said, "Yes?"
The female voice on the other side of the door, "Who's in there?"
Now, I'd sobered a little at this point, and began to think that this might be the point at which I go to jail.
I answered, "Billy."
(Long pause)"Oh, okay."
I think, "Well, she apparently knows who I am. I wonder if I slept with her?"
Long story short, my brother had found me in my wasted state, and taken me to crash at his girlfriend's house.
No, I hadn't slept with her.
um...called my bf's mom a b!tch...
sorry but i never get drunk b4
I once wrestled a male friend of my naked in a pond at this chicks party with a good amount of spectators....
i got drunk and got on a motorcycle witha guy and my keys were in my pocket and they ended up flying out of my pocket on to the expressway....it was horrible.
John Bradford, a Dublin University student, was walking on the side
Of the road hitchhiking on a dark and stormy night. The rain and fog was
So severe he could only see a few feet ahead of him. There were no cars
in sight and John was beginning to panic. Suddenly, he saw headlights
approaching. The car was traveling very slowly and came to a stop in
front of him. Desperate for shelter and without thinking about it,
John got into the car and closed the door. Only then did he realize
there
Was nobody behind the wheel and the engine wasn't running.
>
The car started moving forward slowly. John looked at th e road ahead
And knew the car was approaching a sharp curve. Scared that the car
would
Go over the embankment, John started to pray for his life. Just before
The car hit the curve a hand appeared through the drivers side window
and
turned the wheel. John was paralyzed with fear and terror as he
watched the hand repeatedly come through the window though it never
touched
or harmed him. Shortly thereafter, John saw the lights of a Pub ahead.
>
Gathering all his strength, he opened the car door, jumped out, and
Ran towards the Pub. Soaking wet and out of breath, he rushed inside and
started telling everyone about the horrible experience he just had. A
silence enveloped the Pub when everyone realized he was crying.......and
wasn't drunk.
>
Suddenly, the Pub door opened and two other people walked in to
Escape the stormy night. They, like John, were soaking wet and out of
breath. Looking around, and seeing John Bradford sobbing at the bar,
one said to the other, "Look Paddy, there's that fooking idiot that got
in our
car while we were pushing it."
Don't know how funny this is but I worked and lived at a hotel that had a lounge. So if I got drunk all I had to do was walk to my room. Not as easy as it sounds. I ended up in the hotels managers Cadillac passed out. At least I didn't get sick in the car. He only noticed me there after he started to driving home. He actually thought it was funny after he got over shock of me being there.
My father was visiting from out of town and he babysat my young son. I went out with the girls and when I returned (drunk), I was going to sleep on the sofa, as my Dad and son were sleeping in my room. Problem is, my pajamas were in my room, so I decided to sleep in my underwear. I guess in the middle of the night, I needed to use the washroom, so I did, and guess I was so out of it, I forgot that my father was there. I woke the next morning, next to my son, and beside him was my Dad, and all I had on was my thong! (LMAO)
I was mortified! He was already awake, but I don't know if he saw under the covers or not!
My husband and I went to a housewarming party where I proceeded to drink a bottle of white wine and two dry martinis... the next day I remembered sitting on a guy's lap and telling him he is hot and not to tell my husband - well the guy I was sitting on was in fact my husband LMAO that was a good thing but embarrasing for me
i wouldnt even say my story is funny. pretty sad if you ask me. i was at a bachelor party and i was DONE and decided to drive home. i can be drunk as hell but it seems once i get behind the wheel i sober up. lol i dont know how. but anyway i pulled into my fathers driveway (where i stayed at the time) and all i remember was opening up my car door to get out. but before i stepped out i just sat back in the seat of my car. next thing i know im waking up like 30 minutes later!!! car door open and everything and here im am,drunk,knocked out and open to a FREE robbery!! man i dont know what the hell i was thinking. i could have lost my life!!! thank goodness no one was walking down the street!!!!
1st time I got drunk probably the last time too. We played beer pong, lost and had to drink a lot. I had just played before too so I was filled up and felt like throwing up already because my stomach was full. Then we played halo 2 after and it was fun because everyone was yelling and for some reason they say I play much better drunk. They even video taped it and my brother who has like an allergic reaction to alcohol or something because he throws up blood which is weird. I was outside on the floor waiting to throw up and finally did, then I tried to go to sleep but I couldn't so I sat in front of the toilet and threw up finally again. Drank a lot of water and the next day no hang over!
wow...i have alot but i will always remember this one because my friends just left me to fend for myself lol..
we were at a club and i was drinking non stop....shots, drinks, shots, drinks.....i was stumbling all over and god only knows what else =) so my friend brought me outside to the trunk and threw me in the backseat, locked the doors and went back in to party!!! lol i was mad at the time but i can laugh at it now!!!
Well, this isn't mine. It is my parents...
About 10 years ago they went to a wedding. Lots and lots of alcohol.....very little food. They came home drunk and hungry. "Let's deep fry some shrimp." They got the oil going on the stove and apparently started feeling a little frisky. Off to the bedroom they go......forgetting all about the pot of oil that was steadily getting hotter. Up in flames goes the kitchen. Luckily they got it put out but not before they burned all the cabinets and the ceiling in the kitchen.
I can't wait for thanksgiving dinner, because we STILL give them a hard time about it.
my bf and I passed out and when I woke up they switched our clothes and put them on backwards...lol
I shared my drunk story with you last week..(well, at least my funniest one) so I can't even think of one that was half as funny as that...lemme see..............nah, I got nothing...lmao..Oh, sh*t..I got one...Me and my friends went out to eat in the city for one of our birthdays..well, after we finished at the restaurant, we decided to hang out at my friends house, cuz she has her own place. so, we went to the liquour store and just got mad sh*t..well, earlier in the day I found out that my boyfriend slept with someone else. but I didn't tell anyone (except for my bff) cuz i didn't want ruin the night..well, we started drinking and i got pissy drunk, and I just started crying and talking **** about my boyfriend and how he ain't sh*t and how all men ain't sh*t and swearing i was going to turn into a lesbian. but I cried until i fell asleep..so i must've been crying for like 4 hrs straight..lol..when i woke up the next morning, my friends were like "are you alright?", I was like "yea, why?" and they started telling me what i was doing the night before..lol..they started asking me why i didn't tell them about my boyfriend and all this other crap..it wasn't as funny as the last story, but it was a little humerous.. a lesbian..yea right..not in this life time..lol..