The British government?!
Question: In the year 2007 the Lord came unto Noah, (who was now living in England)
and said,
"England has become wicked and over-populated, and
I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save two of
every living thing along with a few good humans."
He gave Noah the CAD drawings, saying, "You have 6 months to build the
Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."
Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah sweeping his yard,
but no Ark.
"Noah!" He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark ?"
"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed. I needed
Building Regulations Approval and I've been arguing with the Fire Brigade about
the need for a sprinkler system. My neighbours claim that I should have
obtained planning permission for building the Ark in my garden because it is
development of the site, even though in my view it is a temporary structure.
We had to then go to appeal to the Secretary of State for a decision.
Then the Department of Transport demanded a bond be posted for the
future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions to clear the
passage for the Ark 's move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be
coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.
Getting the wood was another problem. All the decent trees have
Preservation Orders on them and we live in a Site of Special Scientific
Interest set up in order to protect the spotted owl. I tried to convince
the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls - but no go!
When I started gathering the animals, the RSPCA sued me. They insisted
that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the
accommodation was too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so
many animals in a confined space.
Then the County Council, the Environment Agency and the Rivers Authority
ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an
environmental impact study on your proposed flood. I'm still trying to resolve a
complaint with the Equal Opportunities Commission on how many disabled carpenter's
I'm supposed to hire for my building team. The trades unions say I can't use
my sons. They insist I have to hire only accredited workers with Ark-building
experience.
To make matters worse, Customs and Excise seized all my assets, claiming
I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species. So, forgive
me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this Ark."
Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky.
Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean you're not going to destroy England and lay waste
to everything that was once so great?"
"No," said the Lord.
"I'll leave it to your Prime Minister and his Government.
They're doing a much better job than I ever could"
Answers: In the year 2007 the Lord came unto Noah, (who was now living in England)
and said,
"England has become wicked and over-populated, and
I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save two of
every living thing along with a few good humans."
He gave Noah the CAD drawings, saying, "You have 6 months to build the
Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."
Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah sweeping his yard,
but no Ark.
"Noah!" He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark ?"
"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed. I needed
Building Regulations Approval and I've been arguing with the Fire Brigade about
the need for a sprinkler system. My neighbours claim that I should have
obtained planning permission for building the Ark in my garden because it is
development of the site, even though in my view it is a temporary structure.
We had to then go to appeal to the Secretary of State for a decision.
Then the Department of Transport demanded a bond be posted for the
future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions to clear the
passage for the Ark 's move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be
coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.
Getting the wood was another problem. All the decent trees have
Preservation Orders on them and we live in a Site of Special Scientific
Interest set up in order to protect the spotted owl. I tried to convince
the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls - but no go!
When I started gathering the animals, the RSPCA sued me. They insisted
that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the
accommodation was too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so
many animals in a confined space.
Then the County Council, the Environment Agency and the Rivers Authority
ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an
environmental impact study on your proposed flood. I'm still trying to resolve a
complaint with the Equal Opportunities Commission on how many disabled carpenter's
I'm supposed to hire for my building team. The trades unions say I can't use
my sons. They insist I have to hire only accredited workers with Ark-building
experience.
To make matters worse, Customs and Excise seized all my assets, claiming
I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species. So, forgive
me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this Ark."
Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky.
Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean you're not going to destroy England and lay waste
to everything that was once so great?"
"No," said the Lord.
"I'll leave it to your Prime Minister and his Government.
They're doing a much better job than I ever could"
Excellent!
That`s along one but worth the read ha ha ha have a star,,,,,
England Sux
bloody brilliant...laugh...i nearly passed my cigs round
it wooden be feasible .lol
very funny. Live in uk, but sometimes wish I didn`t. US isn`t perfect i know, but at least it doesn`t seem so embroiled in red tape & beurocracy and human rights laws in favour of criminals and terrorists.
sort of sums up this once great land
That means we don't have to worry in The Netherlands for the lord anymore either.
sheer excellence my friend!
our nanny state has to be unique.
its only when we travel do we notice how we are percieved by our government to be morons that cannot make a common sense decision on how to live.
i have noticed this in every day life, if something out of the ordinary happens or something really petty brits have no clue on how to react its as if they are waiting for a set of instructions to guide them with all the rules and regulations we are losing our characters and souls.
iam convinced we will be robots in a few years.
i could go on all day about this but i suspect you already know where iam coming from!