Sarcasm lovers- what are some of your favorite sarcastic comments/quotes?!
Question: I need a laugh today.
Answers: I need a laugh today.
oh wow. I kinda just let them pop out spontaneoulsy per situation... none of that rehearsed sarcasm. LOL.
I haven't any memorised! When people ask stupdid obvious questions, you kinda just have to let it naturally roll off of your tongue: *thinks* :
Did you drive to work today?
No i flew in in my jet.
Oh are you working today?
No i just came in for the hell of it. I thought it would be good exercise to wake up early and come all this way for nothing.
You're going to the supermarket? Are you buying groceries?
No, i figured i go play hide and seek with some of the checkout clerks.
You know, et cetera et cetera et cetera ad nauseum. Spontaneous smartazz remarks are a lot funnier than planned ones. As i said, I don't have any memorised, sorry; they kinda just come out spontaneously as needed LOL
BUT this might make you laugh: I have a button that reads, "Sarcasm is your body's natural defense against stupid." lol. Feel better! ?
Oh, I'm sorry...did I give you the impression that I actually cared?
LOL I say that (jokingly) to my hubby all the time. ; )
When I want your opinion, I will give it to you.
When someone asks an innocent question I say, "I don't think that's any of your concern" - the look on their face is hilarious. They never expect it, never. What's for dinner? I don't think that's any of your concern...see?
All the rest are full of profanity and the morality police will report me.
Good luck with that. After someone says they're going to try something stupid.
i'm sorry, i forgot to take my sarcasm pills today.. do you think i should take double dose tomorrow, as in one for today and one for tomorrow?!! or will that be dangerous for my ironic status?
History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.
He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
- Oscar Wilde
I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.
- Clarence Darrow
Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.
- Ashleigh Brilliant
? It's a catastrophic success.
No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend.
? I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
? I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
? I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
- Groucho Marx
Well, I don't know if this qualifies for your question, but because I'm married, when a man relentlessly pursues me with that knowledge, I love to tell them, "if I want any more lip out of you, I'll pull it off my old mans zipper." It has never failed to shut someone down. ;-)