How do you get the courage to leave an abusive partner?!


Question: Get a lawyer, move yourself and the kids to Texas, become my nieghbor and I will make sure you date only the best! HEHE! No but serioulsly, first time, you could probably let it slide unless it is really bad. Multiple, take pictures of any marks and bruises on you or the kids, any mess around the house and get a lawyer. Hell, even a free one would be able to win that case if you had pictures.


Answers: Get a lawyer, move yourself and the kids to Texas, become my nieghbor and I will make sure you date only the best! HEHE! No but serioulsly, first time, you could probably let it slide unless it is really bad. Multiple, take pictures of any marks and bruises on you or the kids, any mess around the house and get a lawyer. Hell, even a free one would be able to win that case if you had pictures.

Prayer, support from friends and family. There is no easy answer.

By leaving and explaining to your children that in the nice possible way that their father and you are not good for each other. And also tell them why.

Find a safe place to fall and plan. Don't give up. Use your head. Get away before someone really gets hurt.

When you're sick and tired of him hittin you, you'll leave...trust me. It should only take once for him to hit you though. Yes, consider the children but would you want your children seeing that all the time??

And definitely like Ms. Kimberly said, support from family and friends but make sure when you leave...don't turn back. Make it your FINAL decision.

you can buy some courage at your local gun store.

Realize both you and the children shouldn't be experiencing that kind of life. It's wrong and you should be taking care of it.

Think about your children and how it will effect them later in life and trust me it will. You are not doing them any favors by staying and they will look up to you for your courage by getting them out of the situation.

realise you are probably just hormonal and attacking him until he does something that you use to justify the fact that you have been attacking him for the past month ...... knock it off ..... he'll start getting more money again ..... just deal with it......

i think that you should just leave and never go back to you partner EVER!

why is courage needed? there's no decision here--just leave.

find a good friend to help you find a safe place

you need to talk to an officer..dont tell your spouse or u will get hurt..but sseriously you need to report i t

I would bet my house that you've had lots of people telling you to leave. You don't need more people to tell you. What you need is to collect your kids and go to a battered women's shelter. They'll know exactly what to do. GO NOW!

Courage always comes from somewhere deep with in the heart. better take a stand today than wait for a tommorow which may or may not come.All the best..............

If you really want to leave, you will leave. The fact that you have your children to consider is all the more reason to wise-up and be the adult.

I'm not being callous, my mother was in the same situation with my father, and she stayed until he started beating me too, I had to be taken to the hospital, and my mom was afraid of losing me to ACS. She waited until then to leave.

You don't, the only thing you should remember is that it will never stop and you are responsible for the children's safety. It will only be a matter of time before he turns on them.
What you need to do is just get out while you are alive. You don't want the children thinking that it is normal for daddy to beat mommy.
Call you local social service or police for assistance and please do it soon.

Kimberly is right: There is no easy answer. You must remember that he will always be like this, no matter how many times he apologizes. He has an anger problem. The abuse will never stop. There are women's abuse shelters, which will take a woman and her children in, feed them, and provide a living arrangement and counseling. Please get help. The abuse will only get worse.

unfortunately when you hit bottom, and keep in mind that your hitting bottom does not mean you are seriously hurt or so...it has to come from your sense of dignity and your sense of feeling in danger....in other words, don't wait for anything serious to happen....if you start to think about it, start to feel in danger, and start to feel concern for your children...seriously concern,then it is time to leave...

look for help at the Police station, in most places you just need to say you feel threaten and your children are being subject to see adult unhealthy situations at home....most ot the time you get the help you need.....trust me.

.been there, done that!...

all the more reson to get the hell away! PLEASE, before someone is killed, and it does happen! there are places to call, shelters, you will be safe, there there for you, just make the call, don't procrastinate! I am really begging you to do this! please let me know ,

A friend once told me that everyone has a personal limit of what they will take, and that until you get to yours, you'll continue to take. If children are involved, the most important thing is to remember the children are helpless and defenseless in this situation; an adult who chooses to stay in an abusive relationship has made a personal decision, but children don't always get to make that decision. The abused person need to consider those kids first and foremost.

and you said there are children to consider. How hard is it to consider when there are children involved with this bullsh*t.
WHY DO YOU WANT TO PUT YOUR CHILDREN THROUGH THIS CRAP??? Cause you think its good for them.
I know this is going to sound harsh and hard but your children (while your raising them, while there dependent upon you for all there needs) are your first priority and should always be.
You leave because you want them to have better and you want to do everything possible to instill in them that relationships ARE not like the one your in.
Your being selfish I think if you stay and your really thinking about yourself and not your childern. There's a way out and help, don't stay because you love the person because an abusore does not love you. And don't stay because of $. You know you should leave.........you just have to want better for you and your kids.........and if this means being without a partner it's not gonna kill you or your kids either. And if the kids know about the abuse they are going to have much more respect for you for leaving.

Just leave, its that simple. Just do it, things will be hard afterwards but they can only get better, and for the kids, well i think its best for them, don't you. If this is happening to you then get the hell out of there while you still can-you o.k.

Naturally, there's a lot at stake here. And I'm not sure I have the perfect answer. Please keep that in mind. But here's something that should serve as a starting strategy.

Set him down with witnesses and say "This marriage is ruined. You have beaten up on me in the past, and you will continue to do it in the future. I am now leaving and starting my life without you . I have little doubt that one day you will sneak up on me and kill me for this. But remember that you will be the number one suspect. You had better have your ducks-in-a-row if you don't want to spend many years in prison."

Don't forget the witnesses (neutral ones, not from your own family. If you need to bring the cops in for some reason, that would be a good time for this speech. They'll make good witnesses for this purpose.)

If he is not actually murderous, then this will shake him up to the point that he will probably not behave in a manner that makes you and your family fearfull that he is.

This answer doesn't really address the children issue. But that'll have to wait untill you've established yourself away from him and the issue of further violence is settled.

good luck.


edit: son of troll should not have assumed that you are sending out a false alarm. And he could be more polite. But he does point toward an important question; this really is an abusive situation, isn't it? We're talking about a guy who is truly being bad to you? Not just a guy who has the typical load of human faults and failings?

Staying together for the childrens sake is not a good reason. They know there are problems.You are teaching them that its ok to treat some one like this.Please go on your own way and protect your children from being abused.

It's not a matter of courage but tolerance. When u can longer tolerate an abusive partner, u r not left with any other option but to walk out on him and claim for compensation to look after the children. There is a saying, if father dies, despite all difficulties mother will raise the children. If mother dies, they r really ruined. Father will find another woman to look after himself and even leave children for her sake.

JUST LEAVE.






Think about how he might start smacking your kids around. Why would you want to subject your kids to seeing you beat up every day. I think the woman who stays (especially when there are kids involved) are just as much to blame as the abusive partner.

I left mine. I just told him to get out for a week and while he was out I got an apartment and moved out by Friday. We did have children, but none together so that made it easier. He was also doing drugs which I was not going to be apart of anymore. It's hard, but you just have to have that final straw to push you over and then it's pretty easy. Good Luck sweetheart~ ?

you just have to do it. this answer is lame.

leaving someone is like sky diving. there is no best way to avoid the mental impact of what you just did. just hold on to yourself and jump and hope to hell the parachute opens... or you've made the right choice, in your case.

eventually you'll be on stable ground again... hurt or not... emotionally dead or unscathed.

but what do I know.. i'm just a simple man. the battered people above me seem to be on the right track tho.

OPRA had a show a while back on this matter. you can get help with making a plan to exit this relationship, just call your local police and they will give you phone #s' for agencies set up just for these situations and i advise you to act quickly especially if you have children because more likely than not it will spread to them as well, these type of men are mentally disturbed and rarely ever change their ways no matter how many times they promise. also go to opra.com as there may be some info on there, please do not delay for you and your children's sake. good luck.

It takes intelligence to know you want a better life for you and your children. Just do it.



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