What do you think of my writing?!
Question: Can you please take the time to go to my blog and read the latest entry? I want some feedback on my writing. Is there anything I can improve on? Is it well written? All suggestions are appreciated and I want your honesty please.
http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-u_6REwY1f...
Answers: Can you please take the time to go to my blog and read the latest entry? I want some feedback on my writing. Is there anything I can improve on? Is it well written? All suggestions are appreciated and I want your honesty please.
http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-u_6REwY1f...
Wow, that was pretty damn good. Very descriptive, maybe could use a little more but for such a short story about cricket, or should I say Alexander, it works and i can imagine him, not as much as i would like. Throughout the story i was just like damn when is Cricket's brother, presumably, going to stop putting him down for all his downfalls, and see him besides his hideous figure. I like how his brother names him Cricket because it helps to show the narrators antagonistic view to his brothers lack of physical beauty. It was not until the end that the brother realized that he was much more then this frail, little, ugly kid....
I might have to read up on it again to catch more details, but well done
...his brother realized that he was in fact beautiful. Maybe not so much on the outside, but he had a heart of gold. And unfortunately it was not until his life was through that his brother would realize this. I'm sure all that could follow is a feeling of guilt. For he always crushed hopes and dreams of his brother.
So it was a very well written short story, i would of liked to see it expanded, more description, maybe more character development. The story line is nice how it is and is able to convey the themes that you want.
I like it mucho, i might not be a minstrel of words like you, but i know what i like.
It is quite good. :)
it looks great
Excellent. But you might want to cut out that part about Hitler being a stinking bastard. You might face opposition.
I enjoyed your blog I personally think ya did a fine job.
I like it very much.
A few suggestions at the beginning.....
mosquitoes is a ugly word, try "monsters, beasts and such", and delete "it". Just name the character "Alexander", I did not like the last name, just delete it....
For most of the rest, its really good, congratulation and if you have some more send it to my e-mail to have a brief moment of happiness trough beautiful words....
you writing is good, but avoid the ........ 's and make it simple.
the easier to read the more people get to enjoy it, your here to tell a story and entertain not make people dig into dictionaries