I'm just curious ladies..?!
Question: How many of you are REALLY submissive to your husband/boyfriend?
What I mean by that is..how many of you let your man be the man of the house...I do..I think its sexy and a huge turn on. I don't mind standing behind my man. As long as he knows that I make decisions too.
Answers: How many of you are REALLY submissive to your husband/boyfriend?
What I mean by that is..how many of you let your man be the man of the house...I do..I think its sexy and a huge turn on. I don't mind standing behind my man. As long as he knows that I make decisions too.
I am! I almost wanna slap myself for saying it, but I also think it is a huge turnon! I don't want a rude "Ike Turner" type husband, but I love a man that'll 'put me in my place' if I need to, i also love to come home and make my hubby dinner, I love doing the laundry and washing and folding his draws...lol. it may sound weird, but I feel like a "woman". I know how to take care of my man, get the job done at work, and in turn I have a loving, supportive husband who takes care of me (and the fact that he takes care of me financially is a bonus, too!) But the point is, he deserves everything I do for him, and I love making him happy!
Not me, I'm naturally dominating.
He and I butt heads all the time because I am used to being in charge and so is he...we have power struggles all the time. Usually I end up being the submissive one.
Im with you girl!! Amen!
My man is chained up waiting for me to let him loose..............
Hell yea my man wears the pants. I thought that was how it worked.I mean we talk things over but he is our bread giver. I also stand behind him 100%
Not me. I'm the bossy loud one and he's the accommodating quiet one. If your question had been who is the stronger of the two, he would win hands down. He's as steady as a rock. No matter what my problem is, I know he can fix it. And I mean that emotionally as well. If my feelings are hurt, he makes it better. If I'm sad, he makes it better, etc.
no way. my man is wonderful but as soon as he knew he is in charge he′ll start believing he′s more than meself. well he already does a bit, coz thats in a way inherent to men's condition. i dont blame them. im just saying that u can let urself down on the game. i know its a real turn on, but when i think of all it implies i just vomit with disgust. so, no way.
there are many other tunr on worth enjoying in an equal way. women have fought so much to reach our present day situation that i wouldnt dare throw it all out the window.
anyway, i know it feels good, as sometimes y let myself go and enjoy his masculinity and so on.
well, good luck!
Not me, we make decisions together most of the time, sometimes it him, and sometimes its me. I would have no self esteem if I were to be submissive, and he wouldnt have any respect for me if I allowed myself to be treated like that.
But hey, what ever floats your boat girl!
me
This page contains Bible passages about sex and marriage, an extract from a psychology book about improving marriage, and links to articles about problems caused by having sex outside of a committed long-term relationship, improving marriage and preventing divorce, problems caused by pornography use, and other things.
These include links to articles on this website, part of the Self-help series on this website that features articles on depression, anxiety problems and other things as well as relationship difficulties.
In the Letter to the Hebrews in the New Testament, the Bible says:
Hebrews chapter 13 (NLT)
4 Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.
In the Book of Proverbs, the author wrote:
Proverbs chapter 6 (NRSV)
20 My child, keep your father's commandment, and do not forsake your mother's teaching. 23 For the commandment is a lamp and the teaching a light, and the reproofs of discipline are the way of life, 24 to preserve you from the wife of another, from the smooth tongue of the adulteress. 25 Do not desire her beauty in your heart, and do not let her capture you with her eyelashes; 26 for a prostitute's fee is only a loaf of bread, but the wife of another stalks a man's very life. 27 Can fire be carried in the bosom without burning one's clothes? 28 Or can one walk on hot coals without scorching the feet? 29 So is he who sleeps with his neighbor's wife; no one who touches her will go unpunished. 30 Thieves are not despised who steal only to satisfy their appetite when they are hungry. 31 Yet if they are caught, they will pay sevenfold; they will forfeit all the goods of their house. 32 But he who commits adultery has no sense; he who does it destroys himself. 33 He will get wounds and dishonor, and his disgrace will not be wiped away. 34 For jealousy arouses a husband's fury, and he shows no restraint when he takes revenge. 35 He will accept no compensation, and refuses a bribe no matter how great.
Proverbs chapter 22 (TEV)
14 Adultery is a trap-it catches those with whom the Lord is angry.
Proverbs chapter 25 (TEV)
26 A good person who gives in to someone who is evil reminds you of a polluted spring or a poisoned well.
In the New Testament, the Bible says to Christians:
2 Timothy chapter 2 (NLT)
22 Run from anything that stimulates youthful lust. Follow anything that makes you want to do right. Pursue faith and love and peace, and enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts.
The Bible says that Jesus Christ said:
Matthew chapter 5 (NLT)
27 "You have heard that the law of Moses says, 'Do not commit adultery.' 28 But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust in his eye has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 So if your eye - even if it is your good eye - causes you to lust, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 And if your hand - even if it is your stronger hand - causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.
31 "You have heard that the law of Moses says, 'A man can divorce his wife by merely giving her a letter of divorce.' 32 But I say that a man who divorces his wife, unless she has been unfaithful, causes her to commit adultery. And anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery."
Elsewhere in the New Testament, in the apostle Paul's first letter to the Thessalonian Christians, the Bible says:
1 Thessalonians chapter 4 (TEV)
2 You know the instructions we gave you by the authority of the Lord Jesus. 3 God wants you to be holy and completely free from sexual immorality.
1 Thessalonians chapter 4 (NLT)
4 Then each of you will control your body and live in holiness and honor - 5 not in lustful passion as the pagans do, in their ignorance of God and his ways. 6 Never cheat a Christian brother in this matter by taking his wife, for the Lord avenges all such sins, as we have solemnly warned you before. 7 God has called us to be holy, not to live impure lives. 8 Anyone who refuses to live by these rules is not disobeying human rules but is rejecting God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you.
In chapter 3 of his book "Sanctity Of Life", Charles Swindoll, referring to those instructions to the Thessalonians, writes:
... "Apekomai is the word translated 'abstain.'" {or in the translation used here, "be ... completely free from"} "It means 'to go away from, to depart, to be distant, to keep hands off!' ... The word 'abstain' is rarely used in scripture, but when it is, it means just that. ...
... "How broad is this word for sexual immorality? It is the Greek term Porneia (pornography) which includes ... incestuous relationships, unnatural acts with beasts and animals, premarital sexual relationships and extramarital sex."
In the Old Testament, the Bible says:
Leviticus chapter 18 (GWT)
1 The LORD spoke to Moses, 2 "Tell the Israelites: I am the LORD your God. 4 Follow my rules, and live by my standards. I am the LORD your God. 5 Live by my standards, and obey my rules. You will have life through them. I am the LORD.
6 "never have sexual intercourse with anyone related to you by blood. I am the LORD.
7 "Never have sexual intercourse with your mother. She is your own mother. Never have sexual intercourse with her.
8 "Never have sexual intercourse with your stepmother. She is related to you through your father.
9 "Never have sexual intercourse with your stepsister, whether she is your father's daughter or your mother's daughter. It makes no difference whether or not she was born in your house.
10 "Never have sexual intercourse with your granddaughter, whether she is your son's daughter or your daughter's daughter, because she is related to you.
11 "Never have sexual intercourse with a daughter of your father and his wife. She is your own sister.
12 "Never have sexual intercourse with your father's sister. She is your paternal aunt.
13 "Never have sexual intercourse with your mother's sister. She is your maternal aunt.
14 "Never have sexual intercourse with the wife of your father's brother. She, too, is your aunt.
15 "Never have sexual intercourse with your daughter-in-law. She is your son's wife. Never have sexual intercourse with her.
16 "Never have sexual intercourse with your sister-in-law. She is your brother's wife.
17 "Never have sexual intercourse with a woman and her daughter or a woman and her granddaughter. They are related. Doing this is perverted.
18 "While your wife is living, never marry her sister as a rival wife and have sexual intercourse with her.
20 "Never have sexual intercourse with your neighbor's wife and become unclean with her.
22 "Never have sexual intercourse with a man as with a woman. It is disgusting.
23 "Never have sexual intercourse with any animal and become unclean with it. A woman must never offer herself to an animal for sexual intercourse. It is unnatural. "
In the Book of Proverbs in the Old Testament, the Bible says:
Proverbs chapter 7 (TEV)
1 My child, remember what I say and never forget what I tell you to do. 2 Do what I say, and you will live. Be as careful to follow my teaching as you are to protect your eyes. 3 Keep my teaching with you all the time; write it on your heart. 4 Treat wisdom as your sister, and insight as your closest friend. 5 They will keep you away from other men's wives, from women with seductive words.
6 Once I was looking out the window of my house, 7 and I saw many inexperienced young men, but noticed one foolish fellow in particular. 8 He was walking along the street near the corner where a certain woman lived. He was passing near her house 9 in the evening after it was dark. 10 And then she met him; she was dressed like a prostitute and was making plans. 11 She was a bold and shameless woman who always walked the streets 12 or stood waiting at a corner, sometimes in the streets, sometimes in the marketplace. 13 She threw her arms around the young man, kissed him, looked him straight in the eye, and said,
"15 I came out looking for you. I wanted to find you, and here you are! 16 I've covered my bed with sheets of colored linen from Egypt. 17 I've perfumed it with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon. 18 Come on! Let's make love all night long. We'll be happy in each other's arms. 19 My husband isn't at home. He's on a long trip. 20 He took plenty of money with him and won't be back for two weeks."
21 So she tempted him with her charms, and he gave in to her smooth talk. 22 Suddenly he was going with her like an ox on the way to be slaughtered, like a deer prancing into a trap 23 where an arrow would pierce its heart. He was like a bird going into a net—he did not know that his life was in danger.
Proverbs chapter 23 (TEV)
27 Prostitutes and immoral women are a deadly trap. 28 They wait for you like robbers and cause many men to be unfaithful.
Proverbs chapter 9 (TEV)
10 To be wise you must first have reverence for the Lord. If you know the Holy One, you have understanding. 11 Wisdom will add years to your life. 12 You are the one who will profit if you have wisdom, and if you reject it, you are the one who will suffer.
Proverbs chapter 29 (TEV)
3 It is a foolish waste to spend money on prostitutes.
The apostle Paul wrote to the Christians in Corinth:
1 Corinthians chapter 6 (TEV)
12 Someone will say, "I am allowed to do anything."
Yes; but not everything is good for you.
I could say that I am allowed to do anything, but I am not going to let anything make me its slave. 13 Someone else will say, "Food is for the stomach, and the stomach is for food."
Yes; but God will put an end to both. The body is not to be used for sexual immorality, but to serve the Lord; and the Lord provides for the body. 14 God raised the Lord from death, and he will also raise us by his power.
15 You know that your bodies are parts of the body of Christ. Shall I take a part of Christ's body and make it part of the body of a prostitute? Impossible! 16 Or perhaps you don't know that the man who joins his body to a prostitute becomes physically one with her?
The scripture says quite plainly, "The two will become one body." 17 But he who joins himself to the Lord becomes spiritually one with him. 18 Avoid immorality. Any other sin a man commits does not affect his body; but the man who is guilty of sexual immorality sins against his own body. 19 Don't you know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and who was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourselves but to God; 20 he bought you for a price. So use your bodies for God's glory.
1 Corinthians chapter 5 (GWT)
9 In my letter to you I told you not to associate with people who continue to commit sexual sins. 10 I didn't tell you that you could not have any contact with unbelievers who commit sexual sins, are greedy, are dishonest, or worship false gods. If that were the case, you would have to leave this world. 11 Now, what I meant was that you should not associate with people who call themselves brothers or sisters in the Christian faith but live in sexual sin, are greedy, worship false gods, use abusive language, get drunk, or are dishonest. Don't eat with such people. 12 After all, do I have any business judging those who are outside [the Christian faith]? Isn't it your business to judge those who are inside? 13 God will judge those who are outside. Remove that wicked man from among you.
1 Corinthians chapter 7 (NLT)
1 Now about the questions you asked in your letter.
Yes, it is good to live a celibate life. 2 But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband. 3 The husband should not deprive his wife of sexual intimacy, which is her right as a married woman, nor should the wife deprive her husband. 4 The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband also gives authority over his body to his wife. 5 So do not deprive each other of sexual relations.
The only exception to this rule would be the agreement of both husband and wife to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time, so they can give themselves more completely to prayer. Afterward they should come together again so that Satan won't be able to tempt them because of their lack of self-control. 6 This is only my suggestion. It's not meant to be an absolute rule. 7 I wish everyone could get along without marrying, just as I do. But we are not all the same. God gives some the gift of marriage, and to others he gives the gift of singleness.
8 Now I say to those who aren't married and to widows - it's better to stay unmarried, just as I am. 9 But if they can't control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It's better to marry than to burn with lust.
10 Now, for those who are married I have a command that comes not from me, but from the Lord. A wife must not leave her husband. 11 But if she does leave him, let her remain single or else go back to him. And the husband must not leave his wife.
12 Now, I will speak to the rest of you, though I do not have a direct command from the Lord. If a Christian man has a wife who is an unbeliever and she is willing to continue living with him, he must not leave her. 13 And if a Christian woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he is willing to continue living with her, she must not leave him. 14 For the Christian wife brings holiness to her marriage, and the Christian husband brings holiness to his marriage. Otherwise, your children would not have a godly influence, but now they are set apart for him. 15 (But if the husband or wife who isn't a Christian insists on leaving, let them go. In such cases the Christian husband or wife is not required to stay with them, for God wants his children to live in peace.) 16 You wives must remember that your husbands might be converted because of you. And you husbands must remember that your wives might be converted because of you.
25 Now, about the young ... who are not yet married. I do not have a command from the Lord for them. But the Lord in his kindness has given me wisdom that can be trusted, and I will share it with you. 26 I think it is best to remain just as you are. 27 If you have a wife, do not end the marriage. If you do not have a wife, do not get married. 28 But if you do get married, it is not a sin. And if a young woman gets married, it is not a sin.
However, I am trying to spare you the extra problems that come with marriage. 32 In everything you do, I want you to be free from the concerns of this life. An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord's work and thinking how to please him. 33 But a married man can't do that so well. He has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife. 34 His interests are divided. In the same way, a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be more devoted to the Lord in body and in spirit, while the married woman must be concerned about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband. 35 I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible.
36 But if a man thinks he ought to marry his fiance because he has trouble controlling his passions and time is passing, it is all right; it is not a sin. Let them marry. 37 But if he has decided firmly not to marry and there is no urgency and he can control his passion, he does well not to marry. 38 So the person who marries does well, and the person who doesn't marry does even better.
39 A wife is married to her husband as long as he lives. If her husband dies, she is free to marry whomever she wishes, but this must be a marriage acceptable to the Lord. 40 But in my opinion it will be better for her if she doesn't marry again, and I think I am giving you counsel from God's Spirit when I say this.
In chapter 7 of her book "Psychology For Social Workers And Counsellors", Carole Sutton writes, referring to marriage problems:
"It can be very supportive if the counsellor can, after due discussion, arrive with those who seek his help at a shared understanding of ways in which each partner wants the other to behave differently. It is then possible to set very simple, short-term goals. Such goals should not be over-inclusive, as in "I want him to be a better lover" or "she must be a better mother to the kids", but should be broken down into small, attainable objectives which, because the situation has been openly discussed and the difficulties experienced by each partner have been accepted by the counsellor, now seem within the grasp and hopefully the commitment of the people concerned. It is not that the larger goals are not to be sought in the long run, but that they should be reached in small, agreed stages with the support of everyone concerned.
"Thus in the case of the wife who wanted her husband to be a better lover, it might be possible to clarify first of all exactly what the wife meant by this; in one case this proved to mean not that she wanted him to be more skilful sexually, but that she wanted him to be more demonstrative and more affectionate.
"Once this semantic difficulty had been sorted out, it was a relatively simple matter to help this couple see that the husband had come from an undemonstrative family where overt indications of affection were discouraged, but that he himself actually felt deep affection for his wife, though he could not express it openly. Once his wife was reassured of this, things became easier, and then it became possible, with encouragement from the counsellor ... for the husband to do regular small things which delighted his wife: to bring her a cup of tea in bed now and again, to have flowers delivered on her birthday, to arrange an outing on their anniversary and so on. The counsellor taught the husband to behave more appropriately to his wife not because such things are "right", but because these partners came from backgrounds whose social customs jarred upon each other.
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... "Attempting to implement a plan in order to reach simple objectives will not succeed unless both parties obtain enough reward from the efforts of the other, and from the counsellor, to keep them engaged in the exercise. This is why it is very important to set simple goals initially, so as to be sure that they can be achieved, and why many counsellors now ask partners to make some commitment to the effort they are all undertaking, and even to enter into some understanding or "contract" to keep trying for so many weeks.
... Thus in the case of the husband who complained that the wife should "be a better mother to the kids" it was possible first to drain off a great deal of the bottled-up resentment of both partners in separate interviews, and then to explore gently with the couple how the husband expected his wife to be at home most of the day, just as his mother had always prided herself on doing, while the wife felt she should fulfil her family's insistence that women should make the most of every opportunity to develop and educate themselves.
Both partners had a deep sense of knowing "what was right" based on the attitudes of their families as they grew up; both considered the other contravened "what was right" and so felt morally indignant. When this impasse was looked at in the light of what each partner in the marriage had actually learned in his or her youth, rather than in the light of the rightness or wrongness of the actual principle, it was possible to gain something of a sense of perspective on the problem, and indeed to reflect on other implicit assumptions which each was making because of how they had been socialized.
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"This understanding, however, was not of itself enough; although the couple conceded that each member had learned his or her attitude, this did not prevent each from still feeling "more in the right" than the other; it was therefore necessary to use the flexibility given by this new understanding to devise a scheme of planned behaviour change which carried inherent rewards for both parties. Thus, rather than the husband's insisting that his wife give up her job in order to be at home after school and in the holidays, as he had previously demanded, he agreed that if his worry about the children's being on their own at four o'clock could be allayed by his wife's going part-time in school hours, he would try to adjust his work programme to spend more time at home in the holidays. This his wife gladly agreed to, for she had thought she would be persuaded by the counsellor to give up her job completely, and was quite satisfied with the "reward" of part-time working.
"Starting from this base, the counsellor helped this couple see the necessity for each partner to recognize the concession that the other had made and to behave appreciatively as a response. He helped them negotiate an arrangement in which by setting and working towards small goals, e.g. that the wife should have the husband's family to stay twice a year in return for the husband's looking after the children for a week while she went to a Summer school, a considerably greater degree of flexibility and adjustment to each other came into the marriage.
In all this, however, it was essential for the counsellor to act very supportively to this couple, working with them on the details of their "contract", offering encouragement ... to them, as a couple, when things went well, and commiserating with them, without allocating blame, when they went badly. In this way the couple moved towards offering each other a much higher level of reward than formerly, increasing the benefits of staying together and making a divorce a much more "costly" affair."
I'd let him wear the pants if he fully understood the responsibilities of doing so. fortunately, he doesn't live with me so I'm pretty much on my own. I N D E PE N D E N T lol