Will you please critique my poem?!


Question: My sister Melody's dog met its end today, and Hallmark just doesn't have anything that fits the occasion.


Our thoughts are with you, Melody
I called but you're not home
Maybe you're out in the yard
Cleaning off the chrome...

Or should I just send flowers with a "Sorry" card?


Answers: My sister Melody's dog met its end today, and Hallmark just doesn't have anything that fits the occasion.


Our thoughts are with you, Melody
I called but you're not home
Maybe you're out in the yard
Cleaning off the chrome...

Or should I just send flowers with a "Sorry" card?

I think flowers and a sorry card might be better received. The last line "cleaning off the chrome" is quite offensive to me if the dog was hit by a car, which I am assuming is what happened?

go with the poem, its more personal.

The latter is the better choice given your poetic talents.
Just remember: it's the thought that counts.

what's chrome?

send flowers with a "Sorry" card

That poem is not sensitive enough. Flowers with a sorry card would definitely fit the occasion a lot better.

haha whats chrome? lol but thats to bad.. prbly the poem..because the owner knows you cared!

"cleaning off the chrome"????...yeah, just send a card...or change the last line.

Well...unless you like to make your sister cry, I would suggest the flowers.

OMG!! If dog met it's end because of a car... I think I'd stick to a card and flowers. The poem is just too brutal.

poem.
it's cute :]

Probably too morbid for a pet death. I'd go with the flowers and the card.

I would go with option #2.

go with flowers and the poem

I love it, but maybe you should add some happy details, or how much you miss him, too.

Definitly the poem! (wipe tear) =*)

Try this.

Sorry your dog died.
I hope you like pie.
Because I didn't make you one.

send a card ... why wud a dog wash chrome?

do something from the heart

im thinking that shes going to be upset with the death of her dog and all, theres no need to ad to the pain dude. go with the flowers.

Lol, just change the last line to "Just know you're not alone" or something along the lines of that. ;)

I hope your joking.

Flowers, hand written poem inside a card in really liquidy, dark black ink.
Tres Dramatique!
:(

it depends on how much she liked the dog
jkjkjk

stick with the flowers the poem seems a little (not to be mean ) crude its propably too soon for that

do all 3:P chocoaltes will help (not the heart box) um i like snickers:P

Flowers box of choclates and a sorry card but.. the poem is nice but i think you save it because when your pet has passed away well if he/she is like me then i wuldnt take anynotice iu would only say thanks hope i have helped you

uh, send flowers, girls think poems are one of the most chessy ways to apologize to a girl...and make sure your there when she gets the flowers, or else that shows ur not manly enough to do it....i hope everything turns out ok

A poem's more thoughtful but what's "Cleaning off the chrome..."? Look over the last line unless you privately know what it is.

Flowers with a sorry card should do the trick ;)


Maybe just say something like

I'm here for you whenever
Melody, your my sister
I will be apart from you never
We will all miss your dog mister

you know.. to lighten the mood with the "mister"
hope i helped; )

I got one for ya!
Old mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to fetch her old dog a bone,
When mother bent over,
Rover took over,
And mother got a bone of her own!

That poem is really, really good.
However, you may want to make the first and third lines rhyme.



The answer content post by the user, if contains the copyright content please contact us, we will immediately remove it.
Copyright © 2007 enter-qa.com -   Contact us

Entertainment Categories