Serious question please help me..?!
Question: my partner Candy as some of you know, quit her job to enroll in cosmetology school. now her boss at the plasma center has offered her a RAISE and a MANAGEMENT position to come back and work full time. how would you feel if your spouse made a descision to quit school and go back to work and you end up OWING the school $1,000 tuition?
theres gonna be an argument. what am i supposed to do? i cant control her but she makes descisions all the time out of nowhere without talking to me. i feel invisible. i need a hug.
Answers: my partner Candy as some of you know, quit her job to enroll in cosmetology school. now her boss at the plasma center has offered her a RAISE and a MANAGEMENT position to come back and work full time. how would you feel if your spouse made a descision to quit school and go back to work and you end up OWING the school $1,000 tuition?
theres gonna be an argument. what am i supposed to do? i cant control her but she makes descisions all the time out of nowhere without talking to me. i feel invisible. i need a hug.
FooFoo is right, you don't want her resenting you honey. However i don't like how she is impulsive and doesn't even talk things over with you before she makes big decisions. If you have made your position clear, that you need to be included on the decision-making (and you should), she should respect that, as you should remain supportive of her despite your misgivings about the situation.
Money is just money really, as like you said, it's her dream, so let it be - just tell her to knock it off when the hair extensions and sh!t or she's gonna be bald.
I love you and I'd hug you all night if I could?
We'll talk more at lunch, please vent, it's important you don't feel invisible, because you are definately not?
ugh i know this is amusing somehow and yet i don't feel like reading all of this
Here is your hug,, now it is up to you to be supportive of her. The problem is she is very impulsive so make sure you completely talk thru any decisions..its why she needs you!
Why would you owe $1,000 for HER tuition? If she always makes these impulsive decisions then are you surprised?? Did you agree to pay for her to go to school? if so then you must not care about that 1,000 cause you already knew she makes irrationale decisions
it sucks, but let her go with her dream
If she stays in the other job, she'll end up resenting you for it
Don't worry about it, it'll pay out in the end
i would say how i felt communication is the key to any relationship no communication the relationship goes down the tubes
I would hate the decision, but I would also support it, if that's something she wanted to do.
what ever makes her happy.....
She shouldn't have made the decision unilaterally. Every (voluntary) career/job change I've had, Sweetie and I discussed it at length, first.
Having kids changes everything, though. Their needs come before our wants. I could probably still be teaching if I didn't mind us living in a box under a bridge.
As for the hug, c'mere, Sweetie.
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Big hug}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
I am sure others will say this..but I am here if you want to talk.
:)
support her in what she wants to do. she would support you in what you wanted to do. but explain to her she needs to realize she's in a relationship with you and you expect to make desicions together. maybe she doesn't realize what she is doing (trust me some of us don't). here's a hug. hope you have a better day.
talk to her and tell her how you feel. BTW what type of name is candy? is her last name cane?
I think you should let candy know how you feel. She should care about you if you two are in a commited partnership. I think Candy should weigh the pros and cons and decide to go with the career that will make her happier. Good luck with all of this!
You're gonna have to talk thru it. Try to work it out. I agree...she should be talking to you before making any decisions. I hope you two can come to an agreement.* ((HUG))
It was my dream too until I sat and talked with several hairdressers. My gay hairdresser said he was working on a cop once and his EAR fell off. It was shot off during work and he had a prosthetic one on. Then you hear about the b!tchy old women and the mean girls. I wouldnt want to do it. Nope.
Here's a hug............now for the answer....Support her in what she wants to do. If she does something to make you happy then in the end she will hate you for it. If the position is more money then she can pay the school back. I would sit down and talk with an open mind. Remember there are two people in a relationship not one. Take her thoughts into consideration as well as she should yours. Good luck..........
Avoid an argument... be positive and supportive... let her make her own decisions and mistakes... its part of life. She clearly has to explore her options regardless of the outcome... Love is all about spiritual growth for one another, so let her try and grow... its more healthy for your spiritual growth too... definitely... good luck.
i understand the predicament.
but, i think you're walking into the #1 reason why people break up.
yes, she should have discussed it with you first, but she is also her own person first, maybe she didn't 'need' to talk it over with you first because she just knew it was the right step. a management positon with a raise is something to be celebrated. so celebrate that with her, don't take it away from her because you're not going to be able to do that one over. ;)
then discuss with her that as an option, and a good 'fallback' to her current job, ...she should still attend cosmetology school, but at night, at her own pace,.........remind her it was her dream and you still 100% support that and helping her do both.
good luck, hon, always a pleasure to see your smiling face.
edit: almost forgot the hug,.......come here ;)
((((HUGS)))))
Let her pay the tuition with her new raise.
You go for it girl and we will just she how she likes it!!
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Since she is getting such a big raise, then she will have no problem paying the $1,000 tuition to the school.
At the same time, I would talk to her & let you know how you feel. Being partners, you should be able to talk to each other about anything.
Well I wouldn't be happy ending up with the 1,000 tuition that's for sure on a decision made without me.but if she gets the raise maybe she could work something out? I hope something gets worked out for the both of you.Heres a hug. *hugs*
First of all Here's a big hug!!! (((((((((HUG!!!))))))))))
It's frustrating to see the person you love give up easily on something you know they have wanted for so long. But ultimately it is her decision sweetie.
You can tell her how you feel, but try to listen to her reasons for wanting to go back to work.
Is there a possibility that she can work and study?
I understand that you feel discounted but this is an issue on it's own. First listen to her side.
I hope it all works out soon.
PS - I can give you a kiss also if you want ;-)
Did a fake Judas Rabbi just make a pathetic attempt to try to hit on you?
I don't really know what a plasma center is but if shes ok working there and its more money then what she would earn doing cosmetology you need to let her make her own decision. Only shes going to know what shes going to be happy with. All you can do is tell her to really really think about what she wants to do with her life. As far as the thousand dollars she will make it back if shes going to get paid more, but if later on she decides she wants to give school another go I could see that as being silly to pay it twice
irregardless of sexual orientation,if you guys are living together,I think you should be making these kinds of decisions together...or as you said there's gonna be an argument........by the way I saw your pictures on your profile, pretty hot .....I'd watch you dance naked around a pole.
Let her know that she could keep the dead end management job, that will leave her with very little money to retire on. Or go to cosmetology school, open up her own shop, or maybe a chain of shops and become a millionaire.
That's kinda crazy .She needs your support like everyone says but it's not a one way street. Her choices affect the both of you and you should really tell her how it makes you feel when she doesn't consider you in such important decisions. If she wants to go to cosmetology school, she should stay focused because you're obviously trying your best to be there for her. If she's set on keeping her job, well since she's got the raise and a new management position, i'm sure she can take care of her tuition bill herself. Either way, try to be patient.
This is a tough one. More money and management sound really good in the short run. Is there a way that her schooling could be done around work? Maybe spread it over a longer period of time so that she can still spend time with you and you child yet get the managerial position (which looks really good on a resume for when she does get her degree finished), as well as a bit more money (that can posibly make up for the lost money).
Working and schooling around family stinks, but sometimes it is needed. (I worked 50 hours per week while going to graduate school full time for 2.5 years).
Good luck and here
<<<Grundle>>>
Honestly thats not right at all you deserve better than that. You need to sit her down and talk about it. Especially the part of making decisions without consulting you. Good luck. oh and don't forget you have feelings to.
(((((HUG)))))
if you paid the tuition money, maybe she should pay you back with her raise money.
you shouldn't talk her out of it though because if things don't work out, she'll blame you.
is there anyway she can fit the classes into her schedule since it's her dream? (so that you don't lose the money)